Skinny Gals

heron · Jul 28, 2006

I think you are beautiful sweet sister....board ass or not ...smile...you're perfect.

barefoot_kirstyn · Jul 29, 2006

Apples+Oranjes said:

I want to say that, no matter how much we are supposed to love ourselves, those comments can really damage your self esteem, no matter how good your self esteem is.

I was in ballet from the age of 3 until I was 9. At about age 10, I started putting on quite a bit of weight because I wasn't exercising as much anymore. I got into middle school [starts 5th grade here] and it completely destroyed my confidence. I was fine with how I looked for the most part, and I didn't concentrate on my looks previously.

But every single day was filled with torment. I was called "fat cow" many times, kids told me to go see Jenny Craig, and even my relatives had commented on my weight gain. At a family gathering I was carrying around a stuffed toy Shamu, and my cousin compared me to Shamu. I was in tears. Another time, at Christmas, I asked my grandpa if there was an regular cola because I didn't like Diet soda at the time... and he poked my tummy and said "It looks like you need the diet"

It was a terrible time for me, no matter how ridiculous it sounds that comments from others could bother me to such an extent. It made me feel out of place in the world, unaccepted, and disliked. And no matter how much that shouldn't matter, NO ONE wants to feel disliked, or not included.

A year later I developed my eating disorder. In the beginning everyone praised me for my weight loss and told me I looked great. But when I started losing more, I heard more shit again.

The "popular" girls at school were giggling in the library next to me one day saying "My name is Bekka and I want to be 7 pounds *giggle, giggle*" I pretty much ran into the bathroom and cried.

People told me I looked like an ethiopian, while some, very few others told me I looked "hot" which only made it worse, because I knew I was sick.

But now, for the most part, I've learned to deal with these comments, because I learned that people will ALWAYS say something no matter how you look or what you do, because someone is always going to want to put you down to make themselves feel better.

When people say things like that, it's because THEY are insecure...and I've come to realize it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt.
Click to expand...

I completely understand what you're saying. I just had this happen last week again. That's why I wrote what I did. Cuz I gave up. I just don't give a shit anymore. I've spent more time crying over what people have been saying to me for the last 10 years about the way I look, than actually living a proper life, and I'm sick of it. I'm only going to be on this earth for so long; why should I let this keep me in a hole all my life?
In school, I was the fat cow. My "friends" wouldn't be seen with me because they were too embarassed (I'm not assuming this, they all came out and told me one day).
One day in Social class in 9th grade, I started to answer a question out loud, and a tiwt at the other end of the room yelled that I wasn't "allowed to talk" because I was too ugly to have an opinion. The teacher giggled and totally ignored it, and started talking about Hitler again.
When we were having a fundraiser for our grade in grade 9, one girl cornered me and said, "you should go crawl in a hole and die, you're too fat to be here, no one wants to see you. You piss me off." I'll NEVER forget that, as hard as I try.
I could carry on about this, but I don't want to dig up all this crap again.
Just last week, my opi asks how much I weigh, and when I told him, he says, "you're too heavy, you need to loose weight, now."
Or there's my mom, who says that I'm failing as a wife because I don't look good enough for my man.
UHG, I give up.
(I'm NOT looking for a pitty-party, here, BTW. This is just to show that I've had my share of rude comments, too.)
I have an eating disorer, as well, I know exactily where you're coming from A+O. I used to have anorexia, and after I was able to recover from it, I have now slipped into only getting excited about food, because it felt like I had nothing else to be excited about...basically the exact opposite. I watch what people eat where ever I go, I stop eating if someone enters a room, cuz I'm too scared they'll be thinking that I'm a pig and shouldn't be eating anything...but I'll binge when I'm alone. I hate it.
That's why I just said, "love yourself for who you are. stop caring what anyone else thinks," cuz I've wasted too much of my life worring about what everyone else thinks about me. I'm done.

dietcoketree · Jul 29, 2006

"When people say things like that, it's because THEY are insecure...and I've come to realize it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt."

~~~.A.M.E.N.~~~

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