Should I make a move on straight friend?

How do go about kissing, meridian? I think kissing can be very comforting and feel good, but I thought that there are many str8 guys who while they may take oral or something, kissing may make them feel too uncomfortable.

I've been getting a lot closer on 1 on 1s lately and am getting to the point where I'm more comfortable and secure to do something as well as to the point where I really am not too worried about the reaction good or bad, but of course hoping and thinking for a good reaction. I'm just waiting for a time where alcohol is involved and late at night. Though we hang out often, lately when we hang out we haven't been getting a chance to drink.

 

Dancing til Dawn, the thing is I don't know if he will come to me even if he has interest because of many obvious reasons. That's the had part. I have had guys that I would like to do something with but just don't know how to approach so I avoid the whole thing. If they initiated and actually tried something I'd be all for it, but I just could never bring myself to be the one to take that risk. I actually would like to be the one to take that risk this time as I feel I have a unique situation, friendship, and friend that makes it seem more possible than my other friendships.

 

I am not gay, and find it a struggle when my friends who are have come onto me in the past-
Sometimes it takes awhile before we meet up again as it has made me feel uncomfortable as I have stated clearly I am straight or maybe I haven't met the right woman ( i joke to them) but females give me no tingles or sexual feelings what so ever and when they still try it on it is difficult and I have had to cut off from some friends for awhile. I suggest you express you have feelings for a man and see his reaction maybe? let me know if you decide too and how you got on xxx

if his your true friend he will be cool with you being open about how you feel, just dont mention its him unless he asks... I have soul sista's who I love dearly, but I had to ease our friendship when they made there feelings clear, we are totally cool now, so if he is a true friend he will get over it...

 

Just bang him already

 

i'd start out as we already talked about: a little touching, then some bolder more explicit touching, and if you already see that he is good with what you're doing you can kiss him. if he's one of those guys that doesn't want to kiss a guy then continue with other body parts and forget about it. depending on how it goes you can always try again later or just ask him if he minds that. it all depends on a person and you won't know where they stand on that until you try. some guys mind it, others not at all. the main point here is that if he's comfortable with the sexual evolution of things, a kiss isn't going to ruin the thing. if he doesn't like it he'll let you know and that's it.

we are not talking about him professing his undying love to his friend here. we are talking about him making a sexual move on him. two very different things.

you are right, the former would make for a very awkward situation and it would continue to be so for a long long time to come, unless his friend returns his feelings in full. that being said, flyea has never mentioned in this thread that he is in love with his friend or intends to say anything of the sort to him. whether he is or isn't doesn't even concern us, since all he's asking advice on is whether to make a sexual move on his buddy or not. so, this doesn't concern this situation at all.

that brings us to the latter case. making a pure sexual move on a friend. that is something that some friendships contain. i've been there and done that. while i agree it is not for every friendship out there, some friendships can also get sexual in nature and might even bring those two people closer together. only flyea is in a position to make an approximate estimate whether his friendship is of the former or the latter sort. and that's the good part about the sex versus 'in love' thing. he can make a sexual move, and brush it off later if his friend reacts badly. it's amendable. the feeling thing you are talking about would not be amendable. you can't take that back. and that was not what we we're talking about in the first place anyway.

 

??? really...

 

You know what works put on a movie and like sit real close to him then put ur head in his lap it should be a movie tht gets sexy and right when it gets to like a real hot seen see if u can feel him grow if he does be like what's that and then say that you can take care of it

 

This sounds like a maddening situation! You've fallen for this guy for a year and a half with no payoff?

Worst scenario: you ply him with drinks and you have a pleasant experience. He turns out to be bi or gay but can't come to grips with it and the friendship becomes too awkward to continue.

Second-worst scenario: he is indeed heterosexual and accepting of you as a friend, but the idea of anything sexual crosses a line somewhere and you feel awkward for at least as long as you've been crushing on him.

OR

You end up having hot mansex on a semi-regular basis. He's neither gay nor bi, but "not into labels." On one level, the sex is hot but there's something missing--you're not satisfied on every level and you're not getting what you deserve.

Now--best likely scenario. While you're wondering what to do with this guy, you meet someone else every bit as nice who puts the move on you--or else you find out otherwise that he's interested in guys for real and is even intrigued at the idea of some sort of relationship with you.

If the first guy were gay or bi or especially up for some man2man delights, I think you'd know by now. If he were up for the handjob, he would probably have gone for it. Frankly, it sounds like an awful lot of work to play with this man and there has got to be someone else around you who is at least as much fun who is much more user-friendly.

Or you could find this more user-friendly guy and the two of you could have shake-the-world sex. Then you go to your original friend and tell him about everything that happened. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

 

Hmm the scenarios are interesting and do have a few good points you mention. I am currently trying to not rush things as I think it's better for it to be more natural, slowed and relaxed to get us hanging alone a night. The annoying thing is waiting for the right circumstance to come along..

I do have another question I'm wondering if meridian or anyone has thoughts on. I'm mostly psyching myself up to try. Ive rubbed his leg, briefly touched his underwear, and been playfully touchy in other ways as i still want more sure signs, and hes not resistant to any of this again. It makes me happy to see that. Though im wondering is this a good thing or could this just mean hes become more comfortable with me?

I'm starting to wonder if deep inside he may be waiting for me to do something more now when I go to sit close. But I don't wanna jump to fast of course til.

 

Holy mother of god you still haven't made a move? Seriously there's far too much thought and over analysing gone into this. Just grab him, kiss him, bed him and give him the time of his life.

 

Haha, i know i am thinking about this and that on this too much. You make it sound so simple though! Interesting that you're bi.. what is your approach or experience? I've received good advice from many but always interested to hear other experiences to give me more to think about.

And I know it's been a few months. I got to the point where when I'm alone with him and tipsy then I'll do something. Only thing is that now that I'm ready to do something of course ironically the right circumstrances (alcohol while hanging out with just us) don't come about.

I'm really ready to give a gr8 bj if it gets there , and most importantly clear this confusion and wondering from my head.

 

i hope it wasn't all 'playful rubbing' or done in a joking manner. if you did it seriously and he was fine with it then he's ok with more happening between you. trust me on that one. as i said somewhere before, you have no other reason -- ever -- at all -- to rub his thigh other than sexual interest. it's a pretty straightforward if subtle move. i don't rub thighs of my friends and my friends don't rub mine. unless...if you only did it to him while joking around then it might really mean nothing at all.

if he's receptive to you, all it requires is just taking it one step further and you're there. just grab a bottle of wine next time you go over to his place, get up the nerve and have a good time.

 

This Thread Was Created On The

1-27-2012, So Lets Face It, If He Hasn't Made His Move Over A Period

Of Three Months, He's Never Going To....



Cheers Glen.

 

Well it's hard to tell if it could be perceived as playful or serious. It was actually not the thigh but the leg more near the knee area kinda just my fingers up and down. I guess in this context I just did it without talkin about it or anything as a joke so I guess it could have been seen as casual or friendly playing at the least. For the most part whenever I'm touchy I just kinda do it; I assume by joking I'd have to say something to play down what I'm doing? Since I don't really do that maybe it can be taken as comfort between close friends or even somewhat serious, depending on how he sees it in his head.

I wanted to try difference instances to see if he would feel okay sometimes and not okay others. I def wouldn't wanted to make sure I don't go by any wishful thinking I have but that I go by his reactions. Like you said, he seems to be pretty receptive and at ease now so I just need to get a chance for that bottle of "wine", beers or w/e

 

Yeah it has been a while but there were other things that came up and made it hard (Lol, no pun intended), and not only that, once it's done, it's done whether good or bad. I've had to be sure that I don't think he would really freak out which now I don't think he will, and I had to make myself okay with the possible bad which I think I now am. So I'm probably over cautious yeah, but it's also been hard to get into the right situation where we're alone with alcohol..which is really all I need a few drinks for us or so just to loosen us up.

 

This subject interested me alot as i was (or still am) in a very similar situation, though it has been more than a year since this tread opened but about a week ago when i came across this topic, i found the the solution to my very same problem like the author of this tread mostly thank to MeridianWest.

I consider myself as "not 100% straight" because i had "gay experience" with "straight looking/acting" male friends in two different occasion and i kinda liked it. so since i don't consider myself as 100% straight.

I have this straight cute looking/acting friend of mine (22 yo), whom i believed was sending mix signals to me, at first i was like "Ok, this is normal" but secretly i wanted so badly to lure him in having a Bicurious thingy with me then again i thought what if he freaks out?, i would risk loosing him as a friend but there were certain elements within him that i took my time to analyse which also kept me hunting him. 1st of all he's Cancerian (born july7), he got feminin traits, like cooking perfectly, he's emontional freak. yet i've never consider those as indications to go all out on him, recently he moved to my place where i stay alone. first month i never showed him that i was interested in him sexually but as the time passed by with his somehow female behaviours (probably it has to do with him being a Cancerian) and combined with many other things (such as both of us being single since we've known each other) triggered my old desire i had on him. We always sleep on the same bed, after giving it alot of thought, one night i decided to make a move on him, in middle on the night i push my d*ck close to his ass, he was deep asleep and never felt it, a minute later i came so close to him that he felt something touching his ass, then he reacted though not violently but with a clere disatisfaction as he pushed me back. the next morning he gave me this weird look, i thought this is it, he hates by now, he probably think i'm trying to turn him into a gay man. Before that i used to drop hints like how cool i was with same sex relationship, that i wouldn't say no if a guy got drunk and start to touch me in private parts. For a week i dropped all my plans to get pursue him but then again deep inside my heart i knew this boy and i have something going, after sometimes i noticed the boy will be masturbating during the cold nights when he think i'm deeply sleeping, one day i heard him reaching orgasm (it was hot). Then i thought "ok" he also got feelings after all, i resume my plan to get him, one night we were sleeping, him facing the wall, i again came close to his behind with my d*ck firmly strong, i bet he felt it but never reacted or move. Recently after coming across this tread, it motivated to don't judge before you try, said to myself if he really is willing to give it a try he will meet me half way let me initiate the act and c how he reacts, one night we sleep this time he came so close to me while not facing i was so fucking nervous but i thought "whatta hell" i gently put thigh on top of his after a minute i took off then go back to my corner facing the other side, about five minutes later he came looking for it (he came so close to me rubbing me at the back waiting for me to do something. People i was so nervous, my heart started to beat at twice the normal rate, i've never move thinking what does he want exactly? what if he doing all that under sleep? what if i make a move then he ject me? by the way I'm Leo (August) i hate rejection. what if all that was only on my mind? after realising i did nothing he quitely move back on his corner, the next morning he never said a word to me.

Well that's pretty much it. I took in consideration what all of you here said then i realise, as men we also have certain desire and feelings which may or maynot be "unconventional" but we build solid walls around them in fear to be perceived as "weak" in society.

 

I wonder if he ever fucked his mate...?

 

i hope so - perfect chance!!

 

Don't do it. Thatd be creepy as hell

 

Just an idea for this dude or everyone else maybe:

why dont you just ask him flat out. 'hey, I dont remember asking but are you bi?'. These days, thats just how I ask people - if it applies.

if he asks why, just say 'ive been thinking about such things lately and i dont have anyone close enough to talk to about it'

if hes your friend he wont back off. IF he is bi, I think theres a good chance he will indicate it somewhere somehow along the conversation.

... I dont think itll be any worse than the time I asked this girl at a straight club, 'hey are you a transgender?' and it seems she was a regular girl ;_; who just em seems to .. ehm...