Sex with friends- how do you feel?

Spoken like a man who's never had hate sex.

 

Risky business. You're falling in love with him, which will only get worse. If he doesn't feel the same way and he starts having sex with you, inevitably you will get hurt. You'll not be able to stay friends. He 's protecting you at present.

There's a chance he likes you as much and is simply afraid of getting sucked into a major relationship, fearing he might get hurt and loose the comfortable friendship he has at the moment.

Best come clean. Stay away from asymmetrical intimate relationships.

 

that's what men do, because it's what men have to do, because women won't give them a second look if they do get too close.

he's probably on some other forum complaining about his attractive female friend who keeps flirting with him and leading him on, and then backing off.

 

Great way to describe it. :2thumbsup:

 

http://www.efukt.com/20780_Ragegasm.html

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

Intellectually, I have always thought fucking on a "just friends" basis was feasible; I've never been able to achieve it, though. Something about being intimate with a woman is an investment itself, so either I fall in love or get put off by the relationship. I must be messed up in that way. Just don't know.

 

I could definitely see friends with benefits working and by that I don't mean fuckbuddies but actual friends who you sometimes fuck. A few years ago my best friend was a girl and she really was my number one friend, more than some of my oldest and best guy friends, I always called her first about things and talked about everything.

But she did like to sleep around and then talk to me about the guys she'd fucked and complain about how some of them were assholes et cetera. I was a virgin at that time, too and it was frustrating as hell to me although I never made any hints.

We did end up sleeping together after I had distanced myself from her a bit but it was terrible and I didn't blow my load and we haven't talked ever since. I needed the epiphany, though, I'll never have a standing friendship again like that with a girl, it's useless and I always feel sexual tension, it amazes me how easy it is for girls to consider members of the opposite sex as pretty much their brothers.

I'm also bitter towards any girls who befriend these weaker nice guy types without considering the obvious and feeling okay with it.

So here's a warning of what might happpen.

 

idk i think sex with some extremely hot supervillian woman would be pretty hot..

 

It is disrespectful to your own self, mentally and physically, to allow someone who will not commit to you, to just use you whenever they wish. No, it's a big no-no for me.
Realize your self-worth. And don't be using your friends' minds and bodies either. Two way street; you respect yourself then you will find yourself respect others (especially the ones you care about--like a "Friend") the same way.

 

Calm down and get with the discussion. You're putting meaning where it doesn't exist. We're not talking about somebody using you "whenever they wish" or anything like that. This is a friendship between two intelligent people who communicate and who share things in common, including sex. The original poster is discussing sex within a friendship, not exploitation or something emotionally dishonest. The thing is mutual. As I said before, I think it's possible, but in my case not achievable.

 

Telepath is right.

Even if it is within a friendship, if the strenght of feeling is not mutual there is a "power imbalance". It is not realistic for the the OP to enter into an intimate relattionship with someone she clearly loves without her becoming emotionally wrapped around his finger. AutumnsFlame deserves better than that.

It is going to turn an already untenable situation into a selfdestructive one.

Her only hope is that the feelings are mutual and he is not showing. Otherwise I would back off.

 

I think it is possible, and have a simillar situation, only its even more tricky because my male friend is also my -roomate. Even though we live together, are friends and sometimes fuck, we are carefull of not making it look like a relationship (different expectations on that field in general, different emotional backgrounds and burdens) and somehow manage to do so.

This experience has been very good for me so far. Before we were not very good friends but once we moved in and started talking (both have problem sleeping so all night talks) something just clicked and we completely opened up. We kind of went over the field of that intimate stuff you maybe wouldnt admit not even to your partner for some fears of rejection or shame or whatever...before we ever touched eachother.

So when sex came along, we just continued that way. I was never able to talk about sex with someone I am actually doing it with so openly and without any faking or restraining. And with lots of good and honest feedback, I think we both improved and opened up sexually. I used to think I had that with my old boyfriend, but now I realised that we were always too afraid of mistakes and saying something wrong and never really got to that field.

Another thing is, we already had that sexual tension between us, so we just went with it so living together and spending lots of time togehter would ease up. I think if the restraining sexuality continued, we would either stop living together or enter a relationship for all the wrong reasons.
After a while we will move out, I will get a small apartment of my own and a dog and open myself up for something new, and Im sure I will be much better in every way to someone new in my life, given to this experience.

Sex with a true friend without any expectations can be great and liberating, but you must be really, REALLY honest with yourself and with him, all the way through. You need to work on your friendship all the time and be carefull to how the other one is feeling. There is no place for a big ego here.

 

The acid test in this situation will be when one of you has sex with someone else or, even, have a full-blown "relationship." What will you feel; how will you react?

 

Sex with someone else already happened, with one of those girls I am even friends with now, but as far as the relationship goes, we ll have to see about that. He is only for open relationships I am not, so I guess if I meet someone I wanna commit to I will move out and stay friends with him.

 

Now I see you quoted me while I was editing my post ... and added "After a while we will move out, I will get a small apartment of my own and a dog and open myself up for something new.."

 

I feel like having sex with friends.

 

Perhaps I read something into the OP that wasn't there. I was thinking the discussion was about a fuck-buddy or sex-with-no-strings. As much as the idea of having someone who is a sex only partner appeals to me philosophically, I just can't seem to go there. I do get jealous and I can't have sex without the emotional connection. Just me, I guess.

 

its great until its not turned into a relationship

 

It depends. I feel like if you're both on the same page and understand the context of what you're doing everything will be okay. If someone wants to be more than just friends then having sex will certainly set that off.

I have had sex with a friend of mine and she wanted more and it was hard to correct the situation.

 

I'd probably rather have sex with someone close to me, a friend. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now, we met when I was sixteen and he was twenty four. Age hasn't been a problem though, we really love each other and are best friends. Before we began dating he was just my big brother's best friend, then became mine when he helped me through a difficult time when my cousin was in hospital and I had gotten pregnant by some bastard who didn't want me or the baby. He was the one who drove me across England to see my cousin, who held my hand when I cried about my ex boyfriend, who helped me come to the decision to have an abortion. He was my best friend, as close as family, then we fell in love and we only had sex when we were exclusive. But it was amazing because we were so close, and we were more than lovers, we were best friends too, we still are.