It's interesting that in my culture losing one's virginity generally is considered to be fictionally romantic. But I'd rather believe what you said. You mentioned "More accurate might be that a girls willingness to put up with the pain is because she seeks and/or receives an emotional bond that is far better than a physical (painful) one. " The "emotional bond" you mentioned here I'm wondering if it has something to do with the "sentimental attachment" which was established during the process of sex. Some observes that during the process of sex woman experiences physiologial changes that produces sentimental attachments on her partner.
pixierose, I can't understand the second half of your post, because I have no idea of what the term "bs" means. But I understand the first half; thank you
Super - I'm not an expert in any of this, but my understanding is that the physiological (hormonal) changes that occur in females during sex that may induce feelings of attraction are not discriminate (the attraction is to the sex partner, not the individual partner) and are not as prevalent in pubescent or post-pubescent girls as it is in mature females. More intrisic in young girls are the emotional or esteem driven factors. Yes, these are caused by chemical changes within the body too, but since they exist is all females and since not all females react the same when activated, I discount that chemically induced sentimentality is a dominate trait among young girls. A trait, yes, but not a dominate one. Other psychological influences have to be present before a girl gets to the point where she crosses the line regarding sex. Those influences did not exist in Old China to any large degree (usually they were found in the big cities were western influences mixed with Chinese culture). That's why Chinese girls, for generations, were sexually docile. Today the other psychological barriers are being removed as more individual freedoms, long denyed to girls in China, are being flaunted in front of young girls who, like anywhere else in the world, are learning what they are capable of doing with their bodies and the reactions it gets. Sex has been the only commodity Chinese girls have ever possessed to offer in a culture that gave everything to the man. It's a very deeply embedded cultural and gender acceptance that modern Chinese girls have to deal with, and teen pregnancy is one indicator that they need some help dealing with something that has the consequences that it does. Western culture provides the unfortunate examples; western excesses, as you pointed out, also provides the damning carrot. Question is, can it also provide the solution. Hate to say it, Super, but we haven't even figured it out for ourselves!
Just to add on to the above, when women mature, sex becomes more pleasurable in a large part because their bodies transform to where they are able to both physically AND emotionally enjoy it. That is, to my mind and experience, why women reach their sexual peak in their later years. A woman's body does not experience the physical discomforts associated with sex, and her hormonal changes become more fine-tuned. BS are initials for the term Bull Shit. Guess he isn't buying what you're selling. If I may ask, where do you live in China?
I live in mainland China, in a city borders HongKong called ShenZhen. I'm now studying in college in WuHan, a city located in mid China.
Your argumentation is so strong that I'm convinced in high dgree You have good knowledge of China. Have you ever been there?
I applied to work one time at a resort hotel in the Canadian Rockies, and I noticed with interest a big bowl of condoms free to any taker on the counter (in the office at the back, used for employee business). This condom bowl should also be available at strategic points in high schools, if it isn't already. As for the teen pregnancy problem, it's not ALL my fault. To the best of my knowledge, I'm not a father.
Super - I was in Hong Kong during the Viet Nam war and then just this past year my wife, a friend and I spent three weeks backpacking around China (Beijing, Xining, Xi'an, Chongqing, Yangtze River and Yichang. Fascinating place. I'm working up to another trip there and hope to make it to Lhasa now that they have the train service there. We tried to learn as much as we could during our short visit. The television news at the time was talking about the concern that health officials had over the new trend for young teenage girls to have the breast implants. THAT is a direct result of western marketing influence and unfortunately girls were going to unscrupulous clinics to have the inplants. China is looked at by many western business interests as a whole new market for impressionable youths, especially girls because they are more susceptable to the expensive fads. I have MTV-Chi on my satillite TV and also a Beijing and Shanghi TV station. I believe China to be a place to watch as it comes further out of the post-cultural revolution era. It's been a while since the end of that era and the last fifteen years have been phenominal for China, both good and bad. I strongly encourage anyone to go visit China. We especially enjoyed the people. We spent days in Xining and saw only one other westerner, so there are plenty of places to go off the beaten tourist paths for one to get a good feeling for your country. The cultural heritage and art is awesome. The young people who read this should save their money and instead of buying the latest Play Station, invest in seeing the unique country that China is. Things are very inexpensive over there. And do it soon. Sadly because what Mao Tse Tung didn't destroy, western influences might!!
Abstinence-only education is ineffective. A better approach would be to teach kids about the basics and make sure they understand that being abstinent is the only method that is full-proof. They still need to know how to be safe though. Kids will be kids.
No, actually, the free condoms are there to prevent STD's. Sex education is aimed to do just that, educate. So that people know how to use condoms, know about the various forms of birth control available to them, how to decide on waht kind is best for them and where to get it. Sex education is awesome. I don't want children but I am a sexual person, because of sex ed and contraceptives I am able to express that sexual side of myself with my bf without getting pregnant (well, 99.9% chance of not getting pregnant) Virginty is precious and important to a woman, but not to a man? What feminists do you know that claim virginity is only a minor detail? Most feminists I talk to think that virginity is important, to both genders, but that it's that persons own choice to share when they choose to. Well, me and several of my close female friends simply don't want children, maybe that's why the birth rate is low. Not because divorce rates but because we simply don't like kids that much and don't (currently at least) feel that urge to actually procreate (just practice with rubbers being used). Why is the divorce rate high? A multitude of reasons, but mostly because society has deemed divorce acceptable - before you wouldn't divorce because, well, you couldn't, according to the church and society. Not a single one of my friends shared their virginity "arbitrarily". Show me where you find statistics saying that women fuck for the first time arbitrarily. No, really, prove it. Hell, I'm the one who told my bf I wanted us to have sex, not him. My two best friends both thought long and hard about sex before sharing their virginity with their partner. They try to teach abstinence in many of the US's education systems. It doesn't work. No matter what you say, people will fuck one another eventually. The purpose of sex education is to try and teach people how to manage sex when they engage in it, how to use condoms, what the pill is made of, where to go if you do have other issues stemming from sex. (oh, and I'm not American, but Canadian)
Ummmmm what? Where's your data coming from with this assumption that "the frist sexual experiences by girls [are] not ... pleasant one"? My first time was unbelievably pleasant, it was wonderful and amazing. My friends first time's didn't hurt. Are you female? Can you speak for all women? Have you surveyed all the women you know about their first times? C'mon guy, don't make such broad assumptions about things you haven't experienced. The only time sex has ever been painful for me was when the guy 'bottomed out', ie hit my cervix with his penis during intercourse. Sex is a wonderful experience, if it hurt the first time I sure wouldn't have been interested in continuing with it, but it didn't cause me an ounce of pain.
Timetraveler - I'm happy you find interest in China and you really know a lot The cities you visited have great cultural heritage and relatively less outer influences. They are bright choices. Lhasa is now accessible by rail. My friends and I have been planing there. If there are chances that your next trip to China will include the city Wuhan( also called Yangtze River City, capital city of Hubei Province), I'll be there welcoming you. I'll be absent from this forum for the final examination's approaching and I'll gotta prepare for it. Nice talking to you
i had a long term monogamous relationship with my first lover. it ended because of his drug addiction, not because of any 'i don't want that hooker anymore.' it did hurt the first time for me, but i was so freaking horny it didn't matter. i had a couple other lovers, then met my husband. we've been together for 9 years now, and never yet once has my previous lovers ever been a problem. i think perhaps you're taking a personal preference for virgins and trying to create a whole theory about relationships so that maybe you can convince a few to stay virgins so you can tap 'em. that's fine. there wasa guy on here making up a whole bullshit "study" about how big ol' 'meat curtains' are genetically and evolutionarily more healthy to try to get girls to brag about them or post pictures of ther own. whatever. i've been trying to explain how ugly breast implants are to women for a few years now. only the ones so inclined to believe me will be swayed.
I think promiscuity on the part of both sexes is an attempt to appear powerful, or to gain through sexual favors. I don't think anything I have written so far favors one sex above the other. If we tell our young men that they are only winners through athletics and sexual promiscuity, they will strive towards that goal. If we show our young women that the most important female figures in our culture are those that can control the male libdo through sexual attraction and promiscuity they will strive for that. Neither is the sole perpetrator. Marketing is. And the lack of society and family to oppose it is the biggest cause.
Ihmurria - Scroll down to mynameiskc and you'll get an idea where my 'facts' come from. They come from 'females'! Your first experience didn't hurt. Fine, but I would say that places you in the minority. But then you said you were Canadien and it was obvious that you indeed wouldn't feel any pain since Canadien men are small dicked and the women are built like Trans-Canadien train tunnels. Just kidding. Just a little jib because you came out with a chip on your shoulder. Of course I didn't experience it myself, but I have talked to a lot of women. A lot! Also read many articles on the subject. What I've learned tells me enough for me to draw some conclusions. Equally, just because you're a female doesn't mean you know a lot about other females. You're in the same boat as I am when it comes to the question of what females have experienced. You don't know anything about other girls either until you talk to them, same as anyone else. You say you've shared experiences over the years with other girls, well I've talked with them too, and I'd even say I've talked to more females than you have. Hell, I've been married to one longer that you've been alive! You seem to base a lot of your opinions on your few girl friends. My database is much larger, but in no way would I ever assume I'd be speaking for all women, but I do stand by what I stated above. But in the name of fairness I showed your post to five women for a quick survey, not girls, women, and EACH ONE said, "Bull Shit, it hurt! It hurt then, after, and the next time." I invite you to hold the same survey and trust your honesty to post the results. Don't be surprised that some men are in many ways more knowledgable about women that some women. After all, many Obstetricians are men. Super - I'll be in touch. Good luck with the exams. If we hadn't have gotten off the boat in Yichang we would have disembarked in Wuhan. Interesting. A real pleasure reading your posts. I think more people need to read about topics such as this. I especially think that females who think they know everything about females because they are one might learn a new thing or two about their own gender.
