Self-harming

As a matter of fact Michael, I'm not a liar. And do you know what else is a matter of fact? That you don't know shit about anything outside your own little world. I've stated in other threads that I think you're unbalanced... I'd like to add that I think you're also a truly nasty person... and it makes me wonder why your sig says "loves" when all you're doing is making all this hate. I made this thread because I was looking for someone to connect with about it, not someone who was going to treat me like shit and call me a liar and make assumptions about my life.

 

Don't listen to him. He thinks he knows, but he's just ignorant.

That said, I used to self harm. I cut and burned myself, and often bashed my head into walls. I did it out of frustration, self hate, punishment for something I thought I'd done wrong, to cope with the intense feelings I wasn't equipped to handle (my family is not one that shows much emotion, except happiness or anger...I felt like I couldn't let it out, let it build up, and thus became frustrated to the point of just going into a fit of rage on myself). Sometimes I'd do it if I was angry with someone else...so that I wouldn't lash out at them. There are SO many reasons people do this...and it's not silly, and though sometimes people do it as a cry for help or for attention, more often than not it has nothing to do with that. And it's often not a failed suicide attempt like some people think (my parents when they first found out...thought I was trying to kill myself...I had the thoughts from time to time, but my self-harm had nothing to do with that). It's a dangerous way of coping. I finally started seeing a therepist to deal with the underlying problems...the things that led me to self-harm in the first place. I haven't done it at all now for about 2 years. I feel you hon, and I hope some day soon you can say you haven't done it in years. (((hugs)))

 

yes I do

 

wanna talk sometime??

 

eh? you a doc or something? I honestly don't know, don't recall reading other posts by you, and don't have time to go looking at the mo'.

Not everyone can just stop their self destructive behaviors. I tried everything I could find to get rid of my depression and the things it caused me to do, but until I broke down and went to a therepist, and got prescribed zoloft, it just was never worked. Now I don't have the self doubt, the self hate, and the social phobias I used to have. But for years I tried on my own, to no avail. Some people can, some can't. and that's that.

yeah...right...showing your ignorance on this issue REALLY bad here buddy.

are you saying you self-harm(ed) too?? Perhaps YOU do(did) it for attention, but not everyone does.

this part is true at least...

A lot of self harmers don't WANT to be/play the victim. It's a coping mechanism and, as it was in my case, can be based on just sheer frustration, sadness, and rage that I didn't know how to deal with. I never wanted people to know, but after a while people find out. I never wanted help because I thought that was admitting defeat, that I could sort it out myself. That was a nearly fatal decision a few years ago. It had nothing to do with wanting attention or playing the victim, and everything to do with having a mental disorder, and having no idea how to deal with it, other than this dangerous way.

Stop throwing your ignorance around. Because you may know some people who use it for attention, does not mean everyone else in the world does. It's a lot more complicated than that for most everyone who does it.

 

*Claps wildly for cookiez*

 

I used to cut myself in middle school and high school. I don't know why I did it. Yes, I was depressed, but no more than I thought was normal for someone going thru puberty. I don't even remember doing it when I was depressed. I didn't do it to get attention, though. I made sure to hide the cuts. It was odd.

I grew out of it, though.

 

Actually Michael-the-know-nothing-know-it-all

Most self harmers dont want help because they dont want to burden other people with their problems, many are control freaks (myself included) and cutting is a way to control things. If they got help, its possible many things would no longer be in their control.

If I was screaming for attention; like many cutters, I wouldnt cut where I do... where it cant be seen. So...... SCREW YOU!
I find it hard to believe that you ever helped anyone with anything... you cant even help yourself out of a soggy paper bag

 

hah, calling it cute does not help, it just makes you sound like a condescending jerk. You do not call something this serious "cute". It's rude and sounds as if you equate someones serious emotional troubles with ...god, a bunny or something! If anything that would make anyone who actually took you seriously feel worse. If you honestly mean to help, try a different approach next time, PLEASE.

 

Micheal = overdeveloped
lol

 

There are a lot of idiots who believe this shit too. Simply put, the majority of people who cut themselves do it because it makes them feel better. It's a coping mechanism.

Reducing it to "cute" belittles the people and their reason for doing it, and if you know the slightest thing about psychology, you know that's one thing you don't do, ever.

I'd like you to show some compelling evidence backing up your claim, because you're personal experiences are accomplishing absolutely nothing here.

 

???, are you looney or something?

while you know exactly what you're talking about for the tons of people in the world who use this and other equally harmful coping methods? wow, you must be like god or something to know what's happening in all these peoples' heads huh? you don't mean to help here, you mean to belittle.

While I think people like this are annoying in that they make light of a very serious issue, they still have problems themselves. hell, anyone who would go so far as to cut themselves for attention obviously has issues they need help with too.

You're saying this to me? To us? People here who DO self-harm or used to self-harm? You think WE don't know OUR OWN minds better than you?? Nooooooo, that's not condescending at all.

indeed.

 

You must spread some reputation around before giving to fulmah again.

 

I had never really realized that aspect of it... None of those I've known who did it ever pointed out that part, but it makes a lot of sense. Thanks for mentioning that -- I never was one to self-harm, but I was borderline anorexic thruout high school... Which relates to the control freak/perfectionist issues often associated with eating disorders...

I have never really been able to really understand self-harming, except from the perspective of watching someone else cope with it and try to stop, because I am such a wimp about physical pain of any sort... I try, but there is only so much you can understand about something like this without going thru it -- like my boyfriend can not relate at all to the lingering issues I still have with food... Now, I guess I feel like I understand it at least a little better... So, again, thanks!

 

Well its a lot of things really... its not just control but it is important.... I"ve had some issues with bulimia too... I was pretty much a text book multi impulsive bulimic... minus the celptomania.
I did some research and I guess it was like... finding out that everything that makes you who you are , in your own mind, was all down to the fact that you've got issues.

A lot of it is bottling up too, I would cut in places where no one would see, and cry where no one could hear... I would vomit in the shower so that no one would hear the wretching sound... and it would all wash away...

mind you, pushing dinner down the drain is a real down side...

but I"ve always hated the way I look... its funny, how someone who is a slef harmer.. would also struggle with bulimia because... on one hand, its a bout perfection of the body and on the other its about destroying it.

I have always used vomiting and cutting not as a punishment... but as a panic button, at first it wasnt even about seeking perfection so much as just getting a physical and emotional grip.......

I could laugh... and thats scary.

 

my ex-boyfriend used to do it and then send me the pictures of his cut up wrists....i used to have nose bleeds when i saw them. he never stopped to think about how it hurt me just as much as him because it made me feel that i wasn't enough to keep him happy

 

okay, we all know that michael is a JACKASS... you arent helping anything, so just stop posting here.. you ARE NOT making anything better.

honey, if you need to talk, PM me, i dont know a whole lot about cutting, but i had a friend that did it, so i know a little... so PM me if you need anything... lots of people on this board are willing to help you, even if the JACKASS micheal doesn't...

peace...

 

Unfortunatly yes, I cut.
Unlike lots of people who have posted here I know exactly why I do it. I know that if I cut I will exhaust myself and be able to sleep that night. I know that if I do it I will stop my thoughts even if only for a little while. I know that although it will in the long-term fuel my feelings of self-loathing, in the short-term it calms them. I know that it is the only way I can cope with the next six months of my life. Maybe it sounds stupid but it's the only way, it sustains me. I know my long-term plan is (should be) to stop compleltly, but it has become such an addiction that sometimes I wonder if it is still possible. I hate the fact that it hurts my boyfriend, I pray that one day I wont cause him anymore pain.
Super_Grrl I'm here to talk if you would like.

 

Has anyone here read A Bright Red Scream?

It's a pretty good book about self-harm.

I'm so tired of all the stereotypes hanging over issues like this. Like we're all out for attention , goths and such. Like the stereotypes of people with eating disorders...it's all just about weight and looks, compulsive overeaters just have no willpower, only women develop them, if you're not grossly underweight you're not anorexic. And depression...it's just a phase, it will go away, no one who's depressed really needs medication or outside help, they just aren't trying hard enough on their own, and yada yada yada. Truth is, yeah some of those may be true for SOME people. But the fact is, everyone has a different reason for everything they do, and everyone gets through their problems in tons of different ways. It just irritates me when people like Michael (), lump everyone together like he did, OF COURSE going by the most annoying stereotype, and acts like a freakin expert on everyone else.

There are all kinds of different, deep issues in us all that cause us to do this to ourselves. It's hard to stop, because like Xiola said, for so many it really does feel like the only thing that can help you through things. It's so weird to think that something like this helps in that way...but....I know when I did it, It was so hard to imagine getting through things without it. I remember very vividly the feeling I'd have when an urge to do it would come on....like I was going to explode with emotion....often like my heart was literally going to blow right out of my chest if I didn't have my other release. I really do hope all you guys in here can find your way out of whatever lead you to cope like this, and heal inside and out ((((hugs)))).

 

speaking of causes...

back when I used to bang my head against the wall and dig my fingers into my palms (all the scissors in the house were outrageously dull, otherwise I probably would have started cutting too) it was like an outlet for my emotions... they were so overwhelming that even crying would help me be ok in the end (which it usually does for me). I had to let them out some other way, or else I would've gone crazy (well, it felt like I would've). It wasn't so much about controlling myself, as not completely losing all control over myself (if that makes any sense)

Every person has their own unique reason for self-harming, their own unique set of circumstances and past experiences. There are some common threads behind the reasons of self-harming, but like (the supercoolawesome) Co0kiezGurl said, it's impossible to lump them all together. Anyone who tries to is pretty freakin narrowminded.