saying goodbye to opie!!!

Thanks a lot guys, I truly appreciate it. I feel compelled to mention that I'm 9 days sober now. It doesn't sound like much, but I consider it a significant milestone. I haven't been sober this long for 2 years. I feel pretty good about that!

Anyways, I had my first real test this weekend. A friend called me and told me he had MS Contin 30's for $2 a piece. I thought to myself, "Why couldn't I get killer deals like that when I wasn't sober?". I politely declined, told him I'm sober now. Afterwards I wondered why I wasn't a jerk to him. I think it's because I realize right now that I genuinly want to stay sober, and I'm content with myself living sober.

I think I will eventually go to some NA meetings. I'm only human, having been through this situation before I know what to expect and that I will have "those days" where I just can't handle things myself and any help is better than no help at all.

SirItchALot: I know, I'm shocked I was actually able to go jog, but I knew it would make me feel better, so I did. I've been taking multi-vitamins and eating a lot of bananas to replenish my potassium levels which opiates conveniently deplete. Thanks for the encouragement, it always helps.

Ddoright: I've been at the bottom of the ugliest rock-bottom barrel for quite a while now, and I feel like I'm actually taking my first steps to get out. Thanks for wishing me luck, I too wish you good luck!

BottleFED: That summed up my situation quite well and one thing I certainly consider is the fact that I'm strictly doing it for myself this time. I may have come across in my last post a little bit like I was doing it for my friend, but I'm doing it completely for myself. My friend and I have agreed that we should stay away from each other for a while, as we are quite co-dependent and just hanging out with each other right now could trigger us to go get high. Thank you too for your encouragement!


Again, I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart. If it wasn't for the kind things you, my family and friends have said to me, I wouldn't be in this optimistic frame of mind! Have a good rest-of-the-weekend, I'll post again soon!

 

I have been clean from opiates for five months now and i still have my ups and downs. Just coming back through and reading these posts gives me hope and encouragement to continue on the sober track. I hope you guys all find your change to rewarding because it will be. You will soon see life in the same light you did before oxy overpowered it. I'm glad we can all work to talk about how we can change our lives in a positive manner.

I feel in a weird way its when i get in those prediciments were i randomly get a call from someone that wants to sell me pills or i come across people doing pills in my presence and i turn them down is when i get stronger. Each time i turn those things down even in the midst of my face i feel like it becomes easier each time. I think if i would of hidden out for months without ever coming back in contact with users then i would be powerless over a situation which involves pills but since i/we have faced them since the first day it has made us stronger.

Peace and love. Thanks

 

Eggo, how's it going for you? I've been doing good lately, feeling better and I'm really feeling positive about everything. Ness I enjoyed your post it's nice to hear your story as coming from somebody with a little more clean time. I'm good I still have some sleep problems now and then but that's really it.

 

Well... It's been exactly 40 days now. It's great. I haven't felt this good in years. Every day that goes by I feel better. I hope you guys haven't forgotten me, and I hope you all are doing well. Everyday I remind myself of the position I was in a month and a half ago: sickly, malnutritioned, zombie-like, and put bluntly, dying. I have a picture of myself on my bedroom door of me during day 2 of withdrawals, I looked like a starving, half dead, barely existing human being. I see that picture everyday, the image is burned into my brain. I've been tempted numerous times over this last month, but when I get a craving that picture pops into my head and I reconsider.

I'm certain I have what it takes to continue this, being proud and able to say I've been sober for 1 year, 2 years, and beyond. One day at a time or so they say. I'll keep posting, I feel mentally capable of posting here now that I have some sober-time under my belt. It is indeed the reason I haven't posted, I haven't wanted to tempt myself by coming here. Thanks again guys, I hope to hear from you soon.

 

EGGO,
I have heard of an experienced what some might call a happy period. This is the period after withdrawals are done and things seem to be getting back to normal, you start feeling really great. Time periods for this are as unique to each individual like the drug itself is. But, for some, this period may last 1,2 3 or 4 weeks. But then the second payment to the opiate piper comes due. This will be the mental withdrawal. You will know when it happens, your happy feelings will end, almost abruptly, least they did for me, b4 I went and had a medical issue and had to use again, but, I didnt like it, losing that nice "I feel like new" feeling sucked, but what pissed me off more was the fact I didnt get the opportunity to fight it and see if I could get through it. Ill get my chance and like I said i didnt get much time dealing with it and had heard about it before. I hope your someone who doesnt have to deal with it but Im sure there are others here that can relate to this. This isnt an attempt to rain on your parade because if you've followed any of my post here, I appluade most here with just a day of sobriety. Good luck bro.

 

This is an incredibly late reply, but I've been very busy. Thanks for the heads up BottleFED. I actually know quite well what you speak of. I've gone through that exact thing a number of times with both opiates and other drugs. I'm still adamant about my sobriety, it actually does get easier and easier everyday. I've distanced myself from friends who take pills and I now rarely get cravings. The hardest part though is the fact that I'm in severe pain pain everyday from the fractured vertabrae and all the broken bones I sustained in that accident that seem to be permanately messed up and recovering. I've been very honest and forthright with my doctor about my addiction and I've been taking other things. Right now I'm on a muscle relaxer called Methocarbamol that helps quite a bit. It doesn't help nearly as much as narcotics, but it's a hell of a lot better than ibuprofen or aspirin. It seems to lower my pain levels at least enough to sleep and function.

It's been nearly 3 months now. I've also not had a drink in quite a while as it seemed like I was starting to substitute pills for booze. Hope you guys are doing well.

 

Glad youe doing good eggo. Ive been lucky and I have been in that happy place Bottles talking about. Im just staying busy and focusing on other things then getting F'ed up and its made me feel great just living a clean sober life. Ive been a addict for alot of years so I no how fast I can become a addict again. I dont ever want that! Im also lucky to not have to deal with alot of pain so that helps alot. I feel for you Eggo being in pain everyday. Keep a good positive outlook on life man!

 

Hey, thanks a lot! Getting sober is a lot easier than staying sober. Keeping ourselves preoccupied is definitely a must as it's those times when we are bored that we are most vulnerable. Thanks again for the support and encouragement, it really mean a lot to me. I hope you continue to do well and I'd like to hear from you again soon.

 

Seriously, does our brain make us susceptible to craving this stuff, or do the drugs reset our brains to this position. Why can some people get blasted for a week and when they run out - BIG SHIT - maybe I'll run into some more and may maybe not - no biggie. Or turn out like me - steal from your g'mother if she keeps her meds in the bathroom cabinet.