relationship of abstinence

your problem is you are viewing sex as a dirty thing

 

Am I now... lmao

 

Somebody said that marriage is a contract. She's right. In ancient times, like Bible times for instance, marriage didn't have much to do with love. It was a trading of assets. A woman was an asset to her family, she contributed. Marriage takes her away from that. That's why there were dowrys, to compensate for the loss of the asset to the family. She became an asset to her husband, contributing to his success. Bearing and raising his children, caring for them and him. Marriage shouldn't be glorified quite like you are glorifying it, in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about marriage. But for sex to only be sacred within a legal contract is not natural.

Sex is important, a good husband pleases his wife and vice versa. It should not be thrown to the wayside. God didn't give us hormones to ignore them. They go together with love, and have validation alone. People need to have orgasms the same as we have to pee. In fact, it's unhealthy for a man to let semen build up. He has to get it out, either through sex or masturbation. Itches gotta be scratched.

 

I'm pretty sure if God is so cool he was DEFINITELY fucking a ton of chicks before he ever got married. He'd want you to as well. That's what cool people do. And if God isn't cool, well then he's a loser in my books.

 

This thread is everything that I view wrong it god. The op comes in, asks for opinions and yet doesn't entertain any but his own, and amazingly he turns it into fucking bible class.

Sorry dude, in my world god doesn't exist. I have no problems with those who believe in god but I do when they are like you and they try to shove it down your throat and say that you are less if you don't believe in them.

You know that I have to say to that? Despite me sleeping with others, and my fiancee sleeping with others my marriage will be stronger than yours. Want to know why? WE have already expierenced something that bonds us tightly, and we know that we suit one another that way. Humans are curious creatures by nature (seeing as we evovled) and one of you will grow to resent being only with one person for you entire life and one of you at least will cheat.

The world needs alot of things, more oil, renueable resourses, love, friends, it however does not need another sheep that follows the bible blindly.

This thread could have been interesting until you started preaching. Fuck god, he does NOTHING for me.

 

Hi Aline, ty 4 voicing your opinions. Marriage and sex go hand in hand. God made it so that sex be reserved for marriage. From the tone of your post it sounds as if you think marriage is simply just a legal document or did I misunderstand you? Marriage and sex are indeed viewed extremely sacred in god's eyes. Say someone were to have sex outside of marriage. God will see this and so he bind's your flesh and entwines you together as one even if the couple is not in love. I'm sorry to say but you can never get your precious pure virginity back, neither will you receive the eternal gift god has for you in this matter. Because you would have already chose your own gift which is to have sexual pleasure and not the gift God intended to give you and your pure marriage partner. I feel your looking at sex externally and not internally. Do you think God likes seeing his precious flower's (females) stepped on before they were ready to blossom?

 

sarahrei, I think you just made it interesting congrats. Well I don't even no where to begin with that last post lol so I'm not gonna try. But I forgive you and I ask and pray that the lord forgives you too and shows you the way. Btw I am one of God's sheep and I tend to wander from time to time and am no better than you for ''we all fell short of the glory of God''. I hope you return the flock sarahrei. best of luck with your marriage.

 

Yeah no thanks, the flock can go fuck themselves I'll keep thinking for myself.

 

I wasn't saying marriage isn't sacred, I was just trying to point out it's origin. I for one want to get married. As far as I'm concerned that's what I'm here for. To be happy, and being married to a wonderful person that I love that loves me is about as good as it gets in my book. But I can't see waiting for marriage. You say someone that gives her virginity to someone and then breaks up with him will be depressed. Well, I gave my virginity to my first boyfriend and we're not together anymore. I was depressed, yes, but not because I had sex with him. Because I missed his company. That's normal. Not for a moment did I regret giving him my virginity. Why? Because he was kind and unselfish. A good person and I felt like he deserved it. He never pressured me. It was a gift, and I don't want it back. My only regret is that we didn't have more sex. That was part of the problem with him, he seemed to lack interest in sex and I was new to it and ready for action. That's not to say that was our only problem, that could've been worked out. I broke up with him because he wasn't meeting my emotional needs, but that's an entirely different topic.
As for blossoming, I have blossomed. I think the important thing here is what feels right to an individual. Your choice feels right to you, mine to me.

 

There has been a lot lost in translation over the years. While the church may have had good intentions teaching what they do, but its also about control, and IMO it takes away from your personal relationship with God if you just blindy obey what the church tells you to. The idea that sex outside of marriage is a sin has a lot to do with preventing unwanted pregnancys, and preventing unhappiness in general but that defnitely conflicts the the idea of love, which is the greatest gift of all. Whats most important is what you believe in your heart, and I am not about to let anyone, especially someone who has hardly half the life experience I have tell me otherwise. Marriage is a contract, not saying its not sacred, but saying that sex should not exist outside of marriage is like saying love should not exist outside of marriage. I wish you luck in your search, but I do think until you broaden your horizons a bit its going to a very very long search for you. I definitely not agree with the idea of someone who is not a virgin as being impure. IMO, sex just for the point of having sex, for ones own personal pleasure is more of a sin if you want to look at it that way, sin by defninition is self-indulgence. Sex within a loving caring relationship is anything but.

 

hey, fair enough . therese, that's true that abstinence is a personal decision and that everyone is going to live different lives so we are not going to see eye to eye. Audio you also make a valid point that sex just for pleasure is wrong. I believe God mad sex more so for reproduction than pleasure. The bible does not directly say that sex before marriage is a sin. The bible does clearly condemn sexual immorality and adultery. Many say it's obvious that sex before marriage is included as being sexual immorality. Do not listen to me but please read what the bible has to say on this matter and decide for yourself.

7 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.a 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

17 Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. 21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord’s freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to.

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29 What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.b

39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.



Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and most importantly, honors God.

 

I wouldn't criticize: you were one of the first to start attacking the guy's beliefs, when that wasn't what the thread was about. It seems to me that you're the one who started the preaching. You're just preaching in favour of atheism.

 

Ty for sticking up for me zorba, your a good dude.

 

I'm not saying I agree with you; I'm just pointing out your right to start a discussion about something without it turning into a debate about your beliefs. However, if this was a debate about your beliefs, I would probably be siding with everyone else, for the most part.

 

Unfortunately it's hard to discuss sex and abstinence without mentioning religious beliefs because how we look at these issues is largely influenced by what we believe.

For instance: Sarahrei does not believe in God, and that influences her views on sex and abstinence. Jehovah7, on the other hand, believes in God - and that influences his views on sex and abstinence.

I dunno... I'm considering moving this to the Philosophy and Religion forum.

 

Exactly my point: this thread was started about a relationship issue, and has been derailed into a religious debate, so much so that it does indeed look like a good candidate for the aforementioned forum.

 

Fine with me if you want to move the thread. That's true that god and the bible affected my abstinence decision because when I was in HS i didn't want to stay a virgin and was trying to lose it in my senior year and easily could have but thankfully it never happened. A good religious friend of mine in my senior year gave me a new testament English version bible to keep since I said I had no English version's at my house just king James which was hard to read for me. I read it and long story short it changed my life for the better. I never actually went out and bought these book's they found me through friend's. You can still be in a very deep loving relationship with your bf or gf and refrain from sexual activity. I just see sex as recreation and big distraction.

 

Well, to the OP:

Don't be surprised if your virgin bride turns out to have a modest track record.

Just saying, most women who marry religious " waiting till marriage " guys are ones who did their thing for a while and decided they needed a cleaner image.

So you'll probably end up getting a " virgin " that after the honeymoon will exploit you in every facet and issue divorce within 5 years.

Good Luck though.

 

Why would you fear God? That doesnt seem very healthy

 

Your funny maximus I was thinking the same thing yesterday. Why fear god? That's an easy one man just google it lol.