Real reasons behind the "Fatherhood Crises"...

hehe, actually i don't either, i felt it pertinent to the topic.


ty for the heads up, tho...more link-info, check.

 

50% of married women don't cheat. Go back to school.

 

FFF, u may not always state the accurate, but u sure DO state the obvious..."stacked-deck" in that corner, too, eh?

 

I can't believe you would suggest that dead Princess Diana gave birth to an illegitimate child.

Your Straw Man argument has made me and everyone else dumber for having read your post.

 

speak only for yourself, please, when you speak like that.

i posted links to to a great source of real facts & statistics...it's more fun to fight i guess? it is for me sometimes, i admit, but this is some serious shit & the young generations are gonna have to deal with it sooner or later.

my personal concern: the divorce rate's gonna stop rising because the marriage rate's gonna drop drastically, you're all too p.o.'d at one another to reach any kind of accord. watch the welfare-baby ranks swell (edit: not to mention the abortion rate) as the marriage rate falls.

interestingly enough, ultimately it's the guys who have the upper-hand, no pun intended...it's called "keep it in your pants." 2nd best choice: always use a rubber.

 

I agree with augi, but I'd guess the marriage rate has already dropped. I'd also venture a guess that drugs, at least some of the harder ones, not only increase the chances of divorce but act as a placebo in a fufilling the happiness requirement in a marriage.

 

*waves hand dismissively*

 

{{{ it's the drug typing }}}}

 

Thanks for finding that info. I knew the Maccoby and Mnookin stats had to be bogus, but didn't know where to find the truth.

The solution to ending easy, no-fault divorce (a feminist invention, as I recall) could be either legal, or could result form a societal shift. I don't see attitudes changing very soon when it's so profitable for women (who think that their children can change fathers as easily as they themselves change sex partners) and their attorneys to continue milking the current system.

Women in general will be no more apt to admit the damage they do to their children than they are willing to admit the damage they do with their emotional abuse. (But, after all, women are more emotional than men, right? So we should excuse them.)

Face it - marriage is, for some women, the new form of prostitution. Two of my own exwives had dumped their husbands right after the birth of their first child, married me (the white knight) and got pregnant again, then dumped me for the third guy. Two houses, tax-free child support for two children, and they live off the third guy's income. Pretty sweet deal, eh?

Women have choices. Men have responsibilities.

 

Hey, I've got a clue! At the time of my last divorce, my ex was shacked up with, seven months pregnant by, and intended to marry a registered sex offender - rape of a child (a 13-year-old). The judge did not even open the folder containing my response to this outrage. His mind was already made up.

 

The problem is not somuch a gender issue as it is a system that doesn't work and the mentality of the society that allows it to proceed.
Women by and large are good people. Men by and large are good people. The problem is a society that allows the loudest to create the rules.

The so called moral majority sounds big but they're less then 2% of the population. But they control most of the wealth. Family court is the same thing.

I am divorced with two daughters. One will be 18 in a few months and the other will be 18 in 2 years and seven months. I am patiently waiting for the day when I no longer have to deal with my ex at all. I have too many horror stories to get in to here. Let's just say that I am well aware of the ridiculous power that the family court system in the USA holds over fathers.

The problem is that the system is broken. This system is dominated by men. Men who are also themselves fathers. These fathers bow down to any group who pledges enough to their reelection campaign.

You cannot blame the feminists as 100% of the problem. Yes they are very loud and very wealthy. Their ideas are not for equality. If they were, they would be called humanists. But, there are far fewer real feminists then spoiled princesses and as we all have seen, the feminist movement has lost a lot of steam and will fizzle out like all the others. But the judges who hand down these decisions will still be there.

The problem is the current paradigm of "women good, men bad".

The family court system needs to be torn down and rebuilt. Factors that make a person a better parent need to be taken in to account. But most important of all:

Parents need to take more responsibility in the raising of their kids. The problem in the USA accross the board is a lack of parenting from either mom or dad.

Fathers who disappear. Pay nothing and never see their kids. This so called father was not taught that this is unacceptable by his parents.

Mothers who decide that they don't need a man to raise a child. This statement is so selfish it makes me sick. These selfish cunts never take in to account that a child needs a father.

These are just two examples that I have seen in the court system. I've seen a guy who was 25 grand behind on child support, had not seen his kids in over ten years get away with a slap on the wrist. The very next case was a guy who was behind by three payments, not even two grand and he was sent away for six months.

I've seen a mother with four kids, all from different fathers, crying her whoring ass off to the judge because she was pregnant with another kid from the fifth father because the fifth father was in jail now and she wasn't getting any child support from him. The judge added on another year to that guys sentence.

Is this what we want our world to be?
Do we really want a gender war?
Do you think that the founding fathers of this country wanted this country to be like it is now?

It's too easy to get a divorce. And with this throw away society, the first thing to get thrown away is the children. Men and women in this country are raised to be spoiled arrogant little people with no thought of anyone else.

The problem is the current lack of parenting skills. We, as humans, practice what we are taught. What are we teachingour kids? Or more important, what are we not teaching our kids.

 

That is indeed a very good article. It points out many facts which as sad as they are, are very true. A great many good men have been desrtoyed by their wives and the scumbag lawyers who convinced them to screw their husbands and in most cases their own children in the bargin.

 

This is true. Here is a story:
My best friend for several years, we ski together.
His mom sleeps with a random instructor there.
Because of this, his mom gets half his dads money(who, being a succesful executive, had a lot of money), and she got custody of him.

 

here's a story:

my dad spent all his money on thai whores, italian whores, spanish whores, then came home and slept with my mother's softball team. he beat her, he beat us kids, then on valentines day called my mother from the bed of another woman and told my mother he wanted a divorce. he signed over custody, only barely wanting my older brother because he was a baseball star, and didn't speak to us again for almost 10 years. then it was another 10 after that.

my mother got no alimony, and she got $300/month for three kids. but that was more than she was used to getting and at least she didn't have to hide the bruises or call in sick to work because my dad had tried to strangle her.

my good friend had two children by her ex. he's $6k behind on child support payments and can't be trusted with his own children. she settles for a lower payment again and again while he blows his money on toys. he's lost the right to see his own children, but in my experience, you've gotta do something INCREDIBLY BAD to lose the right to your children.

 

This is also a reflection on the women. I'll bet these guys that hey complain about were like this before they got pregnant. Now, it's all his fault. Besides, this is not the forum for complaining about men. Take this to the women's forum where it belongs.

 

the whole point is that everyone has something to bitch about, it's not a male vs. female thing, it's some people just being fucking pricks. no one ever wonders what the fuck THEY did to lose their rights to their children. it's pretty fucking hard to lose your rights to even visit your children. but no one wonders about that. no one takes any personal responsibility. it's always THEM THEM THEM, never "where did i invite this sort of behavior." but i don't expect immature and petulant people to examine themselves too closely, it's much easier to just start hating everone else than change our own habits.

 

and why are you COMPLETELY incapable of dealing with female input? men's issues are things that we as a human race need to discuss together. this isn't he-man woman haters club, this is a discussion forum, and we have some input. men are welcome in the women's issues forum, though don't be expected to be taken seriously if you start right off being insulting. you'll just get insulted right back. people are people, not saints, and there's only so much a person can take before they retaliate. we're all assholes sometimes, but if you want people to listen to you, quit clapping your hands over your ears and yelling "go away, you're not invited to this club." quit assuming that every time someone disagrees with you on something that they're out to get you and therefore only worthy of being called a bitch or castrated male.

 

i'm not attributing this to any individual or any one thing, but there's a notion surrounding this issue that "no father = messed up child". as with a lot of issues in general, i'm not so much concerned with this issue per se, but rather how and how much people actually think about things before drawing their conclusions.

most of us realize immediately the idea that "no father = bad kid" is overly simplistic, etc. - but some people don't. so let's (me and you, you one other person, you!) look at this:

no father = bad kid. what is this actually saying? absense of male physiology = bad kid? absense of male tendencies / male personality traits = bad kid? if that's not it, what could it be that relates directly to men that when absent is a direct cause of poor childhood development? mystical forces; some kind of "male energy" that guides the child?

i also bring this up because "father this, father that" is thrown around a lot in these studies, and it makes thought-less people believe that "no father" is magically the cause of poor childhood development, that essentially "mystical manly forces" are what's needed here. how does one defend this stuff?

much of the children of concern here are in relatively poor economic situations. and more than that, you have to consider what these mothers are like - the social side - that wind up in these situations. consider the main problem group here which is single mothers in the welfare or comparable state. one can reasonably assume that these women practically across the board are willingly or unwillingly emotional distant / repressed from their children, angry / spiteful / controlling / impatient / indifferent and so on and so forth, toward their children, so essentially there isn't even a single guardian in these situations - or worse, one who is doing damage.

now because the lack of guadianship that's going on in these situations the children either winds up in a world of indifference which in itself is hugely problematic, or they're heavily influenced by other products of these bad scenarios.

in summary i think this is not caused by a lack of penis in the household but rather social and economic issues that as a collective create a slew of psychological problems, and so on and so forth. a man doesn't have to be there for it to work, someone who is willing and able to care and to do so properly, is what needs to be there.

edit: and i'd just like to add that ultimately i think this is a social issue because saying money is the problem is like saying it's impossible to be a healthy individual without it, or that it's the cause of good health

 

psychologically young children need at least two parents and at least 1 male father figure for healthy developement and to build future healthy relationships. that's freud 101 and common sense. it was only with the advent of the Industrial age that parents were forced through economic circustances to leave their home and their family in order to provide for their families needs. this took the shape of father leaves for work, mother stays and rears children. it was unbalanced and unhealthy for the development of the children. 100-200 years of culture built around industry doesn't negate a millenia of evolution. In an ideal environment children would have both parents at home with them, along with extended family nearby, in order to secure their place in the world and their own identity. basically we evolved to develope within family clans.

As industrialization took 1 parent out of the home in order to secure resources needed for survival, a disproportionate amount of the stewardship of homelife fell onto the parent left behind. this is the standard nuclear family that, though much healthier for a child's development than abandonment, was and is insuffecient for proper phsychological development. Father's took an increasingly limit role in the development of their children, limited to that of "provider and protector", void of the emotional attatchment and bonding neccesary for a healthy family unit and subsequently the individual child. As industrialization marched on the other parent is now able and encouraged to also leave the homelife for the majority of the day in order for the family to compete against others for resources(income), leaving the day to day task of teaching their children about the world and their place in it to beauracrats(daycare, babysitter, public school).

extended family present better than nuclear family only,
nuclear family better than 1 parent alone,
1 parent alone better than no parents at all

as a child grows absent of a father figure(look up: "name of the father") that child is stunted in his emotional development and draws a blank or distorted image to which he natuarally seeks to emulate, also do not forget that the parent of the opposite gender is generally the standard that we measure future mates by.

add in the trama and drama to children by the upheaval of divorce and cutody battles and you can end up with some messed up kids.

it is in a child's best interest to have both parents at home along with extended family close at hand in order to be comfortable with who they are, where they come from, and what is ahead. Unfortunately it is our present industrial/technological society's best interest to seperate the parent's from the child, both to gain as much productivity from the parents as possible, and to indoctrinate that child with the understanding that productivity and consumption take precedent.

basically we are animals with a psychological need for a strong male and female presence during our development into mature individuals. industry(that includes the court system) has no need for mature indivduals or any concern with their wellbeing.

so fathers are taught through 8 hours of daily public schooling, 8 hour work days, mass media, and immature ego driven culture that they are not needed in family life and so increasingly have no incentive outside of base instincts to contribute to the growth and development of their offspring. They have no attatchment any longer, having already grown up themselves in homes where the father was absent due to an environment where hobbies and work made a man a man and not the bonding between father and son and mother and son.

it's not the female gender's fault, it's not the male gender's fault, it is our modern society that encourages increasingly weak emotional attatchment to other individuals, specifically in regard to family.

so, no dad doesnt equal bad kid, but no dad does leave a critical emotional and psychological void and individuals seek to fill that void with other things, some quite destructive.

hence the old joke about strippers with daddy issues...

there are other factors in play as well, the destruction of family and the socialist mechanization of the individual can be traced back to the Agricultural Revolution if one does some research, the Industrial Revolution sped up the process, just as the Technological Revolution is doing as we speak.

There maybe hope that in the future families once again grow close while technology takes an increased role in productivity, without the need for individuals, but it's not in the foreseeable future.

There are deep and widespread forces that seek to keep you weak and alienated from birth to death, resist them when you can.

 

ahhhhhh. now THIS discussion feels GOOD. having a loving father figure goes a VERY long way. having a less than loving father figure? maybe not so much. having a hateful and abusive father figure? better to not have one. same thing goes for mothers.