Real problem with wife

there's any number or reasons why a woman isn't interested in sex at the moment. explore her reasons. learn to touch each other again in a non sexual manner. and i agree, don't tell her you cheated. no point in that.

 

Sounds you've got an addiction, dude. Therapy might help, or anything to take your mind off of your desires. 'Cause it sounds like the only thing that brings you joy is getting off. That can be devastating to all sorts of relationships, you know that.

I've been that way in the past, but now I've been celibate for 8 months

good luck

 

bviously we're on a sex forum so everyone here is interested in sex but just so you know, 2 or 3 times a week as you describe is better than average for married with 3 kids families. I know this because I did a poll once on another forum where the women were all mums.
28% did it more than once a week.
50% did it 2 to 4 times a month
For the remainder it was anything from none to maybe once a month at most.

I think its terrible that mums aren't more into it. Me i'm a 4 times a week person. Is your wife at home with the kids. Sometimes being a mum can be so draining having kids hanging off you that you just aren't in the mood for anymore touch. One thing that may help if you're serious enough is to help her with house duties like cooking and dishes. You've got to figure out what works for her and it wont be just playing with her good bits.

Yes, you should feel guilty but don't mope, just strive to make it up to her.

 

I think there is a problem with cheating. That is always a no no.

But in terms of you and her not having a healthy sexual relationship - it isn't your fault. Relationships are built on both mental and physical stimulation. There is a huge (and underestimated) sentiment that men hold with sex. People view men as tough and unfeeling, but ultimately, a sexual relationship is can be as important to men as it can be to women. The lack of a strong sexual relationship can make men feel unwanted, insecure, and feel unable to connect with their partner (girlfriend/wife/etc)

Just because sex is more important to you than to your wife, it does not mean you have a problem. It means that some part of your relationship with your wife needs to change to accommodate your needs/desires in the same way you should accommodate hers.

The best definition of love is where the lover seeks the good of the beloved. If you feel like there is something wrong with your relationship because it lacks something, it is not your individual problem, nor is it her individual problem. It is your collective problem as a couple. As much as she doesn't want to talk about it, it is her job to. And in the same respect, it was also your job to talk to her before seeking outside relationships.

Personally, I think you should see a sex therapist. Not a marriage counselor. A sex therapist. My parents went to a marriage counselor and he had this weird christian bent that made my mom feel justified for treating my dad a certain way, and making my dad out to be a douche for doing essentially what you did. And he isn't a douche - it's just that a lot of people don't know how to handle relationships anymore. You're not taught that in school, so it is always sink or swim.

A sex therapist. They'll make you feel like less of an asshole for wanting to have sex, hopefully put your wife on track to a more openly sexual relationship, and set you both up for being in a more loving sexual relationship rather than trying to appease personal desires.

Good luck to you sir.

And for the love of God, don't get divorced because it is difficult to work out. If she's your best friend otherwise, work it out. Stay together for the kids. I can't begin to tell you how fucked up high school was for me because of my parents.

 

You've taught your wife not to like sex, now you’ll have to teach her to enjoy it again.

For men sex can be all physical but for most women sex is 90% mental, what have you done lately to put her in the mood?

When was the last time you thought about what she would like?

Maybe spend some time showing her a good time with out worrying about you and what you need.

How often do you touch her without sex as a motive? Have you touched her cheek and told her how much you care for her? Have you spent time just cuddling and not trying to go farther? When she wants sex have you taken your time and made her anticipate it? Have you made sure that she gets all she wants not just all you want?

Basically, You need to stop having sex with your wife and start making LOVE to her!

 

Gotta do what ya gotta do homie....

 

find someone else

 

Although I don't recommend telling her of your infidelities, I would go for a check up and ask to be checked for STDs. Contracting a STD is no way to find out that your spouse is cheating on you.

 

If I ever complain about getting a blowjob once a month and sex 8-10 times a month, will someone please shoot my dick off? Are you fucking kidding me dude? Your wife manages 3 kids, keeps your house, probably spends the rest of her fucking free time running kids all over the place or working, and you go out and cheat because you feel you are not getting enough sex! If I get laid 3 times a month it's a fucking banner month. My wife works her ass off and she is tired when she comes home. Not at all in the mood for fucking. If it were up to me, we would fuck every night and every session would finish with me shooting my load all over her face but given the stress she is under right now, I settle for a few times a month. You are a fucking tool.

 

-

 

I think the problem that you may be having, is that the more she denies you the higher your sex drive becomes. I think that is a problem with most men.

Personally, I think there are some woman that just don't have a drive, or lose it. I have had that problem before too. It seemed like no matter what I did, it never got better. I am a fan of going down on my partner whenever I can, and I was even denied that with that partner! It seemed like the only thing that ever got her in the mood was buying her shit, or taking her out for a nice evening. But, unfortunately... I could not take her out every night...lol.

So here is my advice, find out where sex ranks to in your life. If it is more important than emotional chemistry, consider separation. Its one of the hardest decisions a person can make. But, there are woman out there that truely love sex as much as you do. So, what is the point of continuing to live of lies, when you can spend the rest of your life with someone with a drive like yours. If you truely just have a huge sex drive, and it is one of the most important things in your life, there is no way to supress it, besides cheating....sad but true. But, unfortunately it is selfish, and harmful to your significant other. So if you really want someone that matches you in that way, you will have to sacrifice in other areas.

 

You're not 20 years old anymore, you have a wife and you have children with her, and your behavior is unacceptable and unforgivable.
There ARE people that get less sex than you...
And there are people who know right from wrong and know that cheating is NOT okay.
You should have talked to her, tried a therapist, or something along those lines.
You should be ashamed or yourself. People who do the things you do don't deserve advice, OR happiness.

 

Your wife is fine--Go seek some help, you need it real bad--she'll leave you before you leave her

 

FROZEN SOLID-- right on man

 

You're both fine. You just need to talk about it. If she's unwilling to have sex as much as you need it, then at least try to get her to assist with your massive amounts of masturbation. Have her undress and touch you all over what you do it... whisper things to you. If she can't do something that takes as little effort as that, then you both need to see a sex therapist.