random thead 2

Talking Dog For Sale

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that."

 

[SIZE=11pt]On the brighter side: the dog bailed her out and there’s talk of wedding bells [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] [/SIZE]


[SIZE=11pt]hotwater[/SIZE]

 

I have to guess they do it doggy style

 

Thank God it's genetically impossible for a dog to breed with a human.

The Genes would not match up and the sperm would never be allowed to break through the egg wall.


Hotwater

 

Eh... Just a scratch.

 

yeah....by chuck norris

 

Gotta go in work early on my day off fucker screwed me over.

 

We need an expert; someone get me a cryptozoologist, and fast



Hotwater

 

Just heard that they invented a nail polish that changes colors when a date rape drug touches it. The woman sticks her finger in her drink and will know if it was spiked.

 

This guy looks like he knows a lot about it:

 

That picture gives me the creeps.

 

^^^ Ditto

 

pattern*matching

 

trittto^^^

 

Reminds me of this picture. Sorry for the small, although it's probably better that way.

 

haha that dog looks like it's really enjoying it's party. Also looks a bit stoned.

 

thats not a regular cookie

 

How is everyone in my family artistically gifted in some way, except for me