Random Facts XXIX

Random Fact...I watched "Resident Evil Afterlife" today...

 

right

 

Jen, it is entirely your decision as to what to do. If it were me, I would keep doing what I always do, and if/when the doc asks if I'm on any other drugs or medication, I would mention the pot. I would also mention that when you were off the pot, you still got the dizzy spells. That gives the doc as much info as possible to make a diagnosis.

But again: It is ENTIRELY up to you.

 

Thanks for the advice

 

Actually now that I think about it, "breaking" me is what Deanna tries to do. My goal is to take more of her shit without breaking than any other guy she's ever done this to...not sure if I'll make it sometimes tho...

 

sorry i couldn't get back to you sooner Jen... meal was served and then a bit later i had a meeting with some peeps... but it loooks like you got good advice!

this... :2thumbsup:

why do you stay with a woman who you think is trying to break you i didn't realise that Deanna was an actual person zen, i thought she was a discarnate being who telepathically connected with you... now that i know she is a real person, i don't understand why you are still interested... hope i'm not coming across as nosey or rude... would like to understand though...?

 

any good? only watched the first one... thought that was good :2thumbsup:

 

lills, I ask myself this question almost every day...

It's not actually like I have any choice as to whether to "stay with" her. She's always in my head. If I try to ignore her, she keeps talking to me anyway...or other stuff.

And it's really a very long story...thus the book I'm writing...

In early 2003, I was standing out on the sidewalk with her at break time. I told her out loud, "I want to be able to do what you do. I want to be at one with the universe and to be in your head and others the way you're in mine." She answered quietly out loud, "We'll see what we can do."

I call her my "spirit guide," and in some emails she has made it fairly clear that she sees herself in this role also.

Although I say she's trying to "break" me...that's not really it, exactly. I don't think she really wants me to break. She wants me to learn to thrive under conditions that would normally create incredible emotional stress and turmoil. She and her ilk have made it VERY clear that if I step out of line even the slightest bit, I will pay through the nose BIG time. So I hafta take it - whatever she dishes out - preferably with a big smile on my face and a few airy witicisms. And she also wants me to learn about the various subtle nasty games people play - and she's giving me examples from her own behavior to "deal" with.

That's the high-level overview.

 

^But many, many times I doubt...sometimes I'm convinced she's a demon from hell whose only purpose is to cause me pain. So if I show up here swearing about her sometimes, that's the reason.

 

i think it important that you clarify...deanna talks to you in person and telepathically

 

I am all snuggled under two big fluffy blankets.. all warm and cosy.

 

She started being my friend and talking to me in person in late 2001. She started talking to me telepathically in addition to the face-to-face conversation in late 2002. I haven't seen her in person since late 2003, but I've been having telepathic conversations with her the whole time, and she also talks to me in emails. I also had a few phone conversations with her early last year.

Here are some early examples of both in-person and telepathic communication that took place in 2003:

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showpost.php?p=6664380&postcount=47

 

i get it zen... what i don't get is why you let her do this to you...

and

i think you underestimate your own power zen... christ, i'm learning about the nasty games that people play in life, by just living my life... why are you giving her so much power over you? do you think you deserve this kind of suffering? maybe i am being presumptuous, but maybe you feel you have done something awful in your life and feel you deserve this kind of torture? maybe you haven't, but if this is the case, i recommend that you find a way to forgive yourself and learn to love yourself? she sounds like a bully zen... wtf?

:2thumbsup: ditto, except it is one big fluffy duvet

 

Random Fact - Did you know ants have assholes? Just large enough to squeeze out an entire atom.

 

^^^ well you learn something new everyday!!! no, i didn't know that.. infact, i didn't believe you, but just looked it up and it seems you are right...

 

Hmmm, well then I guess you don't entirely get it...maybe I wasn't clear or thorough enough.

I think one thing you're not getting is that there is no way I can just stop this shit. She's in my head all the time, and I can't make her go away. That's the main key to this whole situation.

Another key is that back in 2003 she facilitated me falling in love with her. For a short time she was acting externally toward me almost like a girlfriend would. And she's completely aware of all my thoughts, and she's with me ALL the TIME. She's with me when I'm sitting on the toilet. She's with me when I'm jacking off, lills - and she's not a silent partner. Are you getting this picture?

No, I don't in any way feel that I "deserve" this treatment. And I've told her so plenty of times - both telepathically and in emails.

Let's try a little exercise, and see where it takes us. Just what kind of specific action might you recommend I take to take back my power from her?

 

Yes, I thought it was good...:2thumbsup:

 

Looks like I killed the thread for sure this time...

 

i don't know zen, just believe that you can... write to her and tell her that it is over? if she still comes into your head, tell her to get out...? distract yourself? i really don't know... have you told her it is over? do you want it to be over? btw... is she a witch or involved with the occult at all?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up06CryWQpE"]YouTube - Deana Carter - Strawberry Wine
deana.