Random Facts About You # 53

I went to a job interview today. The interviewer asked me what I thought my worst quality is. I said "Honesty." He said "Honesty? I don't think honesty is a bad thing." I said "I don't give a fuck what you think!"

 

this made me laugh...thanks brother

 

I laughed too.

 

doggy

 

I wish I could take credit for writing that but I have no idea where it came from. I've been saying it for a long time though. I think I'm going to rewrite it as something to do with a middle school student and his guidance counselor.

My grandpa is 86. He smokes and drinks everyday. I took him to the park last week. We were bro-ing out on a bench...he's smoking a cigarette and a jogger stops. She said "A man your age should really know better than to still be smoking and setting a bad example" My grandpa said "I'm 86 years old and my father lived to be 106." The lady said "Was he a smoker?" Grandpa said "No. But he knew when to shut the fuck up!"

 

I laughed again!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GS_LLsYzms
my doggie gets the coat.. thats all I got with the data Ive to work with.....I feel lucky with the hd smiling moose bar dl..

 

I can tell she sure loves you, Orison <3

 

Beautiful dog, man!!

 

Ok...last one and this one probably won't sound as funny as it is when I actually say it because you can't see my body language or hear how I say it (kind of fast and enthusiastic...like a stereotypical used car salesman) and there is no set-up. I've tried this out on a few friends who were stunned at first and then laugh their asses off.

I shake their hands and out of the blue, I say "Wow! You have some very soft hands! In this kind of economy....with hands like that....you can probably land yourself a job in an airport bathroom picking lint out of dickholes!!"

Oh man...that shit is awesome every time I do it. I guess it maybe doesn't come through in type though. I'm working it into a set-up.

See? I told you guys they never know what I'm going to say.

 

*mumblestuff*

 

i'm well into the big clean up this morning

 

I'm well into only working one day so far this week. And while I'm sitting on my ass drinking coffee on the deck this morning.....I saw some finches checking out the bird house I built and being quite noisy about it. Hell yes! Make yourselves at home!

 

And that fucking black squirrel is back and trying to steal the bird food again. See? This is what happens when you allow subsidized housing in your own back yard.

Hahaha! That's just wrong.

 

Is it really black? I'd love to see a black squirrel.

 

i wish i had gone to sleep six hours ago. i wish i could have gone to sleep six hours ago.
its not anyone else's fault this time, then just the contrary way my mind works, or maybe i should say, at times when it most needs to, doesn't.

 

Not completely. There are some around here that are totally black. These are only black on about half of their body....their legs and underside. A regular squirrel must have mated with one of the black squirrels.

 

I need some black squirrels to move in here... There are pockets of them throughout Ohio, but I don't have any here yet.

 

I think the fox squirrels are the most gorgeous.

 

i have a black one...he uses the roof as a bridge to cut across the yard

he lives next door which is currently vacant and has a real nice full size oak where he spends most of his days being harassed by asshole neighbours cats