Psychedelic Bump XX

It seems you have already foster some expectations and perceptions but group therapy is where MDMA shines. That doesn't mean you have to go to a 40,000 person rave necessarily but taking it with a another person(s) is where its therapeutic for most. And to quote the Stones it'll likely be a "You can't always get what you want, you get what you need" type experience.

 

Tonight's plan: 8g of kratom (biggest dose I have ever tried) + a kif bowl + watching "Koyaanisqatsi."

My new girlfriend is very lovely but does not smoke. She knows I do and we have no issue but out of courtesy I try not to do it around her. Tonight we are not seeing each other and I take it as my opportunity to get ripped. I have been noticing that weed causes me some social anxiety and I am trying to experiment w/ using it how I used to--primarily as an aid for contemplation and concentration in my private time.

Koyaanisqatsi is supposed to be a fairly transporting documentary (and Philip Glass is one of my favorite composers). I am hoping this will make for a magical evening. I will be taking the kratom as a tea (previously only consumed gelcaps of the powder), so I will see if that changes the experience any. I will be drinking the tea first then smoking the bowl then starting the movie.

I will let everyone know how it goes.

 

Now that sounds like a solid plan :sunny:

 

I wish I could have dosed with a girl that is no longer in my life. It's hard for me to open up to strangers so maybe I will just go to restaurant and then strip club.

 

It will be my first ever as well. I think I'm just going to follow my gut instinct and do it this saturday to gauge this substance.

 

Molly is best with friend(s) in my opinion.

Although, I have to admit - I've never taken it solo. It just seems like such a social drug.

Only thing I would really take on my own is LSD for an introspective session.

 

By group therapy, I meant taking MDMA with someone else on MDMA that you can interact with for a majority of the experience. Don't get me wrong, I think a strip club could be an enjoyable time on MDMA but I don't think it's the best setting for therapeutic purposes, which is what I generally get as the vibe of your intent with psychedelics.

 

Learn by doing matey... I used to have a bit of social anxiety when I was younger... to combat it, I just set aside myself a few nights where I would do nothing but "open" new people... start random conversations with them... even if it was as simple as just saying hi.

Did the trick.

 

I'd never actually thought about that scenario... now I think I'll plan a trip haha :sunny:

 

I'll go to raves solo on MDMA but obviously I'm surrounded by several other turned on people and surrounded by tons of sensory stimulation. Unlike LSD, or many other psychedelics where it's easier (and for me preferred) to internalize the trip and take it all in, MDMA seems to create this urge to let it all out and open up, seems to shine in the group dynamic.

I took Methylone which is somewhat similar to MDMA at a strip club and it was enjoyable, however I generally found Methylone easier for some ineffable reason to take on my own than MDMA. I referred to it as the 'at home lone.'

Edit: If I misinterpreted the scenario, I apologize I've been drinking tonight.

 

Well that was lovely.

Koyaanisqatsi is a very thought-provoking movie. But, in fact, the act of attempting to watch it was more instructive than the content of the film.

It is startingly rare, I notice, that I actually use my time for quiet, contemplation, or study--even though I would think of myself as a thinker and an intellectual. I try to give myself time for such things, and to some extent I succeed--my practice of yoga engages my body for a set period of time in the day, and when I am taking classes in a studio I am actually forbidden from using my phone, so I am at least somewhat more in the present moment. But while the body goes through the motions, the mind does a million things. I also like to see movies in theatres much more than I used to and I think this, too, is because it is a sanctioned time when I must have my phone off and have no excuse not to. But most movies keep the mind just as busy as it would be otherwise.

If ever I watch a movie, read a book, or really undertake any continuous activity, I always interrupt myself and divert my attention with texts, background facebooking, or whatever. I don't text or talk on the phone when driving, which is much of my day, but...

Anyway, watching Koyaanisqatsi I undertook not to use my phone even though I could (to abstain by willpower rather than through social expectation). I didn't have plans w/ the lady tonight, had no obligations of any kind, and was going to do this for myself: have an experience w/ something interesting, be present w/ my consciousness (w/ the aid of the drug-induced state). I didn't use my phone for about half the movie. I stayed off facebook until about 3/4 through.

It was a mixture of forces: boredom with the slow pace and lack of explicit narrative in the movie, desire to escape from the harsh and unsettling realities hinted at in the footage (about the malaise of modern society), but by far I would say the prevailing reason was an addiction to that drug called human attention, or human approval. In pursuit of that drug I do ridiculous things: I preen, am vain, prostitute myself in various small ways, inflate my good qualities and qualifications, espouse views I can't put into practice (hypocrisy). Meanwhile I find myself hyper-sensitive to any expression of disapproval; I despise confrontation, rarely stand up for myself, frequently blame myself, and am paranoiac that I might be upsetting others. In short, I am a pussy. This is becoming what I hate most about myself. I am spineless! This is not just true in interpersonal relations. I can't stand up to anything: including my own desires and vices. I try to eat better but lapse frequently. I can't walk my walk in politics, in my means of consumption, or even in my supposed areas of expertise--in which I am woefully undereducated and get by mostly by charm and fakery. I am filled with loathing at my participation in the global machine which is destroying or world, and fear at the outcome. Because I am rather poor, something of a dropout, and furthermore occasionally a criminal (use of illicit substances, torrenting pirated material, etc), I am always in a state of fear about my personal well-being.

My day-to-day life is lived on autopilot; I respond out of strong instincts like those named above and force-of-habit to every stimulus. Even when I set aside time to pause and reflect, I am at the whims of addictions like the need for attention. Meanwhile I become paranoid that my smoking has inconvenienced others--I worry that my roommates don't like me being stoned in the house. Given the relatively quiet energy of the film I have plenty of time to think about this social faux pas. The thought crosses my mind that perhaps weed isn't as good for me as I often like to claim and maybe I have an unhealthy relationship with it. I am full of those negative judgments and contractile tendencies.

In a sense, the combination of drugs and Koyaanisqatsi acted like a sensory-deprivation chamber. The quieting of external noise and drama raised the volume on my internal chatter and laid it bare to my notice.

Regarding the action of the drugs, I would say I am still feeling the kratom, although the sedation I am experiencing may also simply be exhaustion on my part. The weed is becoming such a familiar headspace that it is sometimes hard to pick up on...but the swirling thoughts and occasional crop-ups of paranoia are unmistakable. The visual and musical aspects of the movie were truly engaging and fascinating (when I was paying attention)--another hallmark of a good dose of weed for me--but my mind wandered from them like that of a kid with ADD.

The primary emotions were fear and self-loathing, although the experience was instructional and so not overall negative.

I should make clear that I likely did not absorb all the kratom, as I threw up quite a bit of it 20-30 minutes after drinking it.

 

No mis-interpretation... the only downside... it would be very hard to avoid the urge to touch... :sunny:

 

Raga Mala and others, have you watched "Samsara", it is the long awaited sequel to Baraka, out on blu ray now.



Not as good as Baraka imo but worth a watch. i put baraka on quite a pedestal though. bump for a very psychedelic and drug free college experience so far. getting above 90% and going to do a project on psychedelics in therapy. i feel i have finally found [the first] niche of my life/career/worklife. it feels good to no longer be wandering aimlessly, we'll see what comes

 

what are you studying?

 

felix, i'm with GB on his opinion of setting for MDMA.

i only dosed it once (~150 mg), solo, and i wish i would have chosen a better setting.

 

i found mdma solo to be very therapeutic, but it would probably be better with a close friend who you're comfortable opening up to. doing it on your own is good, but at some point you're going to get the urge to move around and it can be frustrating to be inside.

 

I want to watch it... I was thinking of watching it tonight on LSD... but then I read there is more food production imagery.

I had to turn it off when it got to the bit where they were burning the beaks of the chickens... it kept coming back to it aswell... if it didn't last so long it would be ok - but I couldn't keep it on

 

I recommend not visiting the PETA website, and definitely don't look up what a "display cow" is

so do you mean to say you never could finish watching baraka at all, or just on your acid trip? the chicken scenes are nuts though, i know.

I'm studying something related to psychology/addictions/social change/dismantling of societal oppressions don't wanna have too much personal info "out there" although amazingly enough its a field where my experience with drugs is a giant asset. For the first time in my life my "straight" side and my "underground" side can work in harmony and better my life and those around me, while actually netting me a legit paycheck i can live off. it was right under my nose this whole time i just had to look around and do my homework. direction is a powerful thing!

 

Awesome... I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do... I'm progressing very well for my age in the society we live in... now working a mid-level job at one of the largest companies in switzerland. I certainly don't enjoy it though, it bores me senseless. The reason I've persisted... I see freedom in sight... what I'll do with my freedom when I get there, I have no idea.

I'm very interested in psychology / consciousness / perception... perhaps something relating to that.

Couldn't finish watching it on acid and haven't tried again since... the chicken scenes were just too much

Is there similar in Samsara or is it safe for me to watch? lol

 

Watched Samsara and liked it quite a bit.