Psychedelic Bump V

Hey silly, you didn't miss the point at all, you hit the nail on the head. You didn't interrupt, in fact, I think we're pretty much of like minds.

Damn, I wish my parents could have been more tolerant toward me & just maybe at least 2 of the 3 major psychedelic freak-outs I've had in the twenty years of using psychedelics would've been avoided altogether. In fact, their lack of tolerance toward my use contributed to some extent to both of those freak-outs.

The other one was just plain a stupid-assed fuck up that I regret wholeheartedly. That one being the morning after being up all night on loads of amphetamines, approx. 25mg 4-AcO-DMT, & 25mg 2C-I, & then snorting the remaining 75mg of both the 4-AcO-DMT & 2C-I. I did lose my shit, had a temporary psychotic break, & that was the trip I mentioned some time back that I ended in jail on. THAT I truly fucking regret. It was really fucking stupid, & something I won't ever repeat again so long as I live. I thought I was going to die, then things got really hazy & I honestly can't remember much, but what I do remember mortifies me so much that I hate to even think about it. I was in bad place in life at that time & the night before I came to some harsh realizations about my life at the time, which should've been an indication to NOT go any further until I had my shit sorted out, or, to at least go easy, not overdo it, & certainly not follow up a moderately heavy trip with a seriously fucking scary, out of control trip. Even then, though, had I had someone in my corner to look after me, the worst possible scenerio I could fathom having happened is being taken to the ER, pumped full of diazapam for anxiety & probably clonidine for blood pressure, & maybe even haloperidol to knock my ass the fuck out. But strangely, it was that trip & having gone that far that has put some perspective into every trip ever since it; that perspective being that those weird, imaginary demons (so to speak) that I conjurred up in my delerious state are, & always have & will be simple figments of my sometimes overactive imagination. So in a weird way, that horrible, horrible experience taught me not to lose my shit & just roll with it, regardless of where my mind goes & to not freak out nor to get carried away with any crazy ideas. It's strange, but it's true. I mean, I doubt I'd dose a puddle of cid like a few folks I've known in my day have at like Rainbow Gatherings, BUT, I also know that I can take a pretty strong does & typically enjoy flying high (puddling, if you don't know, is where someone pours a handful of liquid LSD into your palm & you drink it... both people I've known who did it claimed to trip for about 2 solid months & 1 guy I knew personally, & he was NOT the same guy after that stunt that I knew from before it).

 

i would pretty much have to agree with all of that. you said it pretty well. i think a lot of the times, when we're speaking so bluntly about my actions, it's hard not to let my ego take it as a criticism. maybe it's because i haven't ever completely crushed it yet (my ego)

don't get me wrong guys, i like to trip. i don't just take the tiniest doses possible, i just don't take some things quite as high as a lot of you. and comparing to cosmos latest trip, i don't think i'll ever combine three psychedelics at once. i've never even combined two

 

I agree. I went through a dark stage of life where I was tripping pretty frequently and it can help put things in perspective and just force you to wade through all the muck you've been putting off for so long. However these days, now that I'm in a better (not great) spot, it's sort of left a bad taste in my mouth regarding tripping. It's a weird mental block I can't figure out where it's coming from or how to get over it. I'm always overly-cautious with dosing and always have this vague sense of doom right before/right after I dose. I just hardly ever "feel" like tripping and when I do, I have to force myself. I always end up enjoying it in the end, but still...

I haven't had a bad trip since early September so I don't really have a reason to feel this way. Part of me wants to trip hard, but maybe it's my mind's way of telling me it's not the right time. Who knows. Also working against me is my work schedule so that I don't really have the time to trip and sleep/recover before having to be at work again. I feel like I need to get comfortable with it again or something. Something happened somewhere along the way that has left me with a constant case of the creeps... I also think a big part of it is the fact that I don't feel comfortable or at home where I'm at right now. Once I move in the summer I'll be able to find a place that feels more like home to me.

Shmeh, I'll figure it out, just needing to rant... and AlertPay is taking too long, dammit.

 

Psychedelics are strange chemicals. They can invoke every human emotion and blend and squish and smear them all together creating such chaotic bliss or complete horror. Everything falls into place as they are meant to be. Your subconscious knows what you can or can not handle and even in the midst of a horrendous trip there is a reason for it, you just have to listen.

Lately I have been doing the side step as I like to call it with my doses. Not entirely sure what I am afraid of but my subconscious knows and I'll just have to trust it.

This is the reason I am ready for DMT. I am ready to fully connect with that side of me, that piece of my mind that hasn't been seen... that has been guiding me. I am ready to meet the whatever-you-may-call-it that has been pulling my strings so to speak.

But anyway, today I had an embarrassing moment. Had gotten into my MXE this morning and my step dad came in before I was able to wipe my nose. I am sure he thought I was railing coke or something lmao. I had a white ring around my nostril and everything.

 

Class GM, Class!

 

I would guess that if anything about your psyche is telling you you'll have a trip mired in doom & gloom, you should at least listen to whatever that is & weigh it in accordingly. I think you can just go so much further with sikes if you're in a good mindframe.

My nightmare trip after dosing 100mg 4 aces & 100mg 2ci in less than 24 hrs. had a LOT to do with not feelin' at home where I was livin' at the time. Just sayin', that's a HUGE part of set & setting.

 

Sounds like my initial doom/regret/guilt stage upon dosing. I have it pretty much every time now haha. I think it's a positive thing, I always end up questioning my motives.

I've realized a lot of the guilt and doom is a result of my fear of wasting my time "getting fucked up on drugs" I guess. I've come to the point that if my only plans for the day/night are to sit at home and trip, it has a somewhat dirty, wasteful feel to it. I need to be active and do something the day of my trip or during my trip. The trip should to be the icing on the cake so to speak; it should be a good compliment to an already great day, not necessarily the source of the greatness. I still will trip at home, but a lot less often and only when testing new chems/combos, or after a good day that I am already satisfied with, and I say fuck sleep, let's trip!

I am big time due for a nature trip. I never experience the doom stage in the mountains or at the beach. :sunny:

 

I have no sense of doom but a little excitement for this 2ci/2cp 15/12 mgs trip I'm about to embark on. Never taken 2cp during the day, looking to chill out mostly and keep it low key. :sunny:

 

I agree with that that first statement 1050%, I agree with the bolded part 2100% even!

And though I know you're getting quite a bit of the deem soon, trust me when I say this: Nobody is really quite ready for that first dmt breakthrough. I'm sure you'll handle it just fine, your enthusiasm toward it is remarkable, but there is something about dmt that makes it unlike any other sike I know of, & I've dosed a lot & loads of combos as these HF pages will testify to (& that even the half of it, heh). Still though, sometimes the first time or so around will take ya by surprise n' if you *do* breakthrough on 1 of those first attempts, you'll be blown away.

Even at the best of times, I describe dmt as carnivalesque because sometimes it's like a funhouse & you flow with its current, other times its like a horror ride & I like to say that dmt "laughs in your face" & can for that 5-20 min. be a little (or more than a little) jarring. Just know that with dmt of ALL the sikes I can think of, let it take you where it wants to go, don't try & control it, that just never works. You'll be fine I'm sure though

Also, as GB put it, classy GM, just classy

 

I don't see the letters PEA anywhere in guerrillabedlam, maybe they're somewhere in your real life name, heh. :mickey:

I think (mostly) psychedelics are wasted on the daytime hours; sike users should live like vampires & have more fun in the dark!

EDIT: I was wrong, d'oh. guErrillAbEdlAm, all that's missing is a P, Mr. MDMA

 

I already know I prefer 2ci tenfold during the day, I have not enjoyed 2cp on either night trip thus far but I've heard the combo is quite good.

 

It is like TNS said last night, different tokes for different folks yo. I find all sikes more or less wasted under direct light. I like Xmas lights, black lights, strobes, colored 'party' bulbs, that kind of shit, but I can't even trip & fully grasp the beauty of it with even so much as a regular white lamp light on. It's either darkness, glowy things, or colory things. Otherwise I'm a pouty tripper.

 

I've only done 2ci by itself once, and at night. The visuals weren't particularly spectacular, more of a shimmer to things, I think I would also prefer to do this one in the daytime. I think 2ci would be pretty fantastic with some -b or -e and nature, I'm interested to see what you think of combining it with -p.

 

Well I just am t + : 25 on psychedelics cosmo so please keep your 'waste of psychs' in the daytime opinion to yourself and not turn me into a pouty tripper.

 

Edit: Realized you were referring to cosmo's post. I love day trips, it's beautiful here in TX today, I'd love to go to the beach and trip right now, or walk in some forest areas and parks. Instead I'm behind a desk at work. Lame.

 

It's human instinct to be in control. I have had issues just letting go on high doses of LSD and it had the potential to become very uncomfortable but I have found myself a pretty good technique. I understand that DMT came come on so fast that your brain just cannot keep up and maybe I will not have the time or ability to concentrate on my little technique but the thrill seeker in me doesn't feel threatened by that. I sound like such a hard head. And I am just that, stubborn as a mule.

 

That was directed at cosmo..

Edit: beach sounds great!

 

I think I would enjoy I during the day also. I have some P I have yet to get into. I am looking forward to that.

 

I know! I was so upset to hear that the beach is still closed here. I WILL be making a beach trip this spring/summer. Most probably Gulfport, MS since it's close enough to be done in one weekend.