Pregnant with twins

I am glad your pregnancies went so well. HCPs tend to like "noncomplaining" patients, less work for them. If you have nothing to complain about, that is great, but many many womyn do have problems, and not saying anything, just to please your doc, is not a good idea.( in KNOW this is not what you did, but there are moms who do not complain, to please their doctors, and their babies end up paying the price for their mom's "being good."

You had very healthy pregnancies, hcm, but not all of us do. I was NOT a "star" patient,(according to most doctor's requirements, but my doctor encourages mons to call him any time of the day or night, if they have any concerns.) I needed my bedrest, or my singletons would have been born dangerously early. My OB says he knows whose babiies will end up in the NICU, usually the moms whose doctors don't stress bedrest, in a high risk pregnancy, or those who think "bed rest" means working 35 hours a week instead of 40.

Like I said before, not all twin mama DO need bedrest, but many do. If you are having contractions, being on your feet, could be disasterous for your baby or babies. The ONLY thing which kept my babies in my "irritable" uterus was my religiously adhered to bed rest. No one thought I would carry any of my babiies to term, I was fully effaced and starting to dilate in my second trimester, and having a minimum of 8 contractions an hour from about 14 weeks, with all my pregnancies. The only way I "saved" my babies from the NICU was bedrest and fluid, and a few times, medication and hospitalization.

I've been in NICUs, I'd do ANYTHING to save my babies from them. No matter how hard that thing was on me, it could not be as bad as what is done to poor, preterm babies in that NICU. Every day in the womb saves the baby a WEEK in the NICU.

Many mamas of twins had great, healthy untroubled pregnancies (about half) but if and when problems start, either in a twin pregnancy or any other, I think it is the mama's responsibility to do everything to prevent preterm labor and keep those babies in her body as long as possible. Again, if there are no problems, then there is no reason to "treat" anything. But with a first pregnancy, many mothers don't feel early preterm contractions, which is why I am not opposed to an occasional nonstress test, to make sure mama isn't in a high risk group.

A good friend of mine just had a 23 weeker baby with her second baby. Her first pregnancy was problematic. Like, me, she has preterm contractions, and threat of early delivery, and had to be treated for this. She managed to carry this first baby to term. I saw her in her second trimester, and asked about what was going on, the doctors had NO idea why she went into preterm labor the first time (no infection or anything) and without an explaination, there is often fear it will happen again. I asked if she was resting, and she said "No, I feel great." She does not have the best doctor, nor was she delivering at a particularly good hospital, one which has a bad track record of preventing preterm births, so I was worried.

Long story short, she started labor and didn't feel a thing. She waited all day to see the doctor (again, a poor doctor makes a high risk mom wait) when she finally did feel some "cramps." By the time she got in to the doc's office, she was almost fully dilated and then her water broke. The poor baby was born seventeen weeks early, and had to be transported to a different hospital, while she recovered from a section at her local community hospital. The baby cannot breathe on his own, he cannot yet take any food, and his survival is precarious. I can't help but think that maybe this could have been avoided. My doc puts a mom who has has preterm labor on bedrest in the second trimester. At first it is mild bedrest, you can do more moving around ect. But, if you start actual labor, and it can be stopped, then you are on total bedrest. This doctor has the LOWEST rate of preterm infants born, in the entire hospital. Probabaly in the entire area. It is no accident.

Not all twin moms need bed rest, but if there is ANY signs of preterm labor, it is the lowest tech and best way to keep a baby IN mama until survival and the ability to eat and breathe is present.

 

Thanks. This is a clear example to me demonstrating that not all last minute C-sections are emergency sections. So was it not very clear via ultrasound reports that the babies wouldn't move down your pelvis in hours of pushing judging by the position of the babies? So, it means trial labors are always advised if there are no clear negating factors at hand or past record (as was your case)?

Was the recovery a bit easier from a purely psychological point of view or it was physical as well? or you can't just separate the two?

Clear.

OK.

Thanks.

Wow...

Hmm...May I ask you, then why some ppl say that it's better not to have full term babies because their smaller size allows their mom to have easier delivery?

I see. I am glad I ask these questions because my wife is not technologically savvy

 

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Was the induction the main reason for C-section...and then the cords became apparent? Did you get any hints from your most recent pre-delivery ultrasound scan reports about the cords?

OK.

I see.

Best of luck to you too!

 

curious, you ARE curious! I love that. I wish my dh had been so interested when I was pregnant, I mean he was, but not in the details. Good work, daddy.

No , that can't be determined. The pelvis can open SO much, that there is no good reason to "Measure" the pelvis and the baby's head to see if it will fit. The baby' s head will mold, and change shape, and there is no way to tell how much, or how fast, and the mother's pelvis can really open up, much larger than it will on an ultrsound or an xray. There is no way to tell who will really be able to give birth. MOST womyn can, though, I know that.

As for "early babies are easier to deliver" I am all for keeping babies IN the womb as long as possible. "early babies" can be host to many respiratory, digestive, developmental, blood, vision and other problems. If there is any choice in the matter, let those babies cook as long as possible. Pelvises were meant to open, there is no benefit to getting the babies out early. When my mother was pregnant with me, many womyn smoked cigarrettes, and some started WHEN they got pregnant, because it meant a "smaller" baby. Not a good idea. LOL! That was 1950s, early 1960s mothering thinking. Womyn who gave birth in those days, and were subject to really terrible treatment in delivery rooms, would do anything to shorten the experience. So, when you talk to older womyn, you will often hear the fear of their childbirths coming through in weird advice.

No, the physical recovery was easier, when I scheduled them, BUT I would NOT have traded the knowlege I got from laboring with my two first babies for ANY amount of physical comfort. I KNEW I did everything I could to birth them, and I tried twice. I could have the next two babies scheduled (which is something I never though I would do) knowing it was the best thing. But, I would never have scheduled a section the first or second time, unless it was something they knew well in advance, (like a placenta previa or something.) What I had couldn't be determined until labor, and even then, we tried with the second baby. I WANTED a vaginal birth.

 

Oh, I just recalled reading this fact...that the baby's head will mold...the pelvis will.... So, GO trial labor! if all is well...Go...Thanks.

Started smoking when they got pregnanthehe I remember reading this too...I think I should start taking notes

I see...thnx!

btw, are apples&oranges good enough very first meal? (my wife can't tolerate cereals and diary products so far...)

 

I have no online medical reports to back me up, but I will find them since you do seem so curious.

I've read (In the course of satisfying my pregnancy educational needs) that labouring BEFORE a c-section can help to develop the baby's (or in your case babies') lungs, so that they have an easier time breathing after birth. Laboring also helps to tone the uterus, making it easier for it to stretch back to pre-pregnancy size more quickly.

Also, you said that your wife wasn't as emotional or something as most. And I will tell you that as a normally non-emotional woman, I thought that going through pregnancy, I'd be the same. However, the introduction of pregnancy hormone shifts as well as my own fears, excitements, insecurities, and needs, I became an emotional person. Where I would not normally put expectations on myself as a person, as a woman, I suddenly find them the be-all end-all of my womanhood. What if I can't give birth naturally? What if I have to have a c-section? What if I can't breastfeed? Those are major issues for me now, and I never considered them very important even in the early weeks of pregnancy.

Your best bet is to follow your wife's lead. Supply information from every angle. Research every birth option, pro and con, including homebirth, birthing centers, and yes, hospitals. Read birthing stories from all of those different experiences. Besides the medical end of things, the most important member of this party is your wife. This effects her in a mighty way.

Also, remember that websites, unless reputable organisations or university research-facility websites, are BIASED. They lack information, sources, squeue things in their favour, leave out huge chunks of everything. So only trust the official websites and studies of reputible university research facilities and organisations that support education and information pertaining to their birth-related stance.

And as others have said, DO NOT put much stock into what even your best friends will tell you about birth. A woman that had elective c-sections without even considering a labor/delivery is obviously squeued. Unless she's experienced both and can offer WELL EDUCATED reasoning for her advice, it's not worth listening to.

Also, remember that some doctors will do anything to cut down the risk of THEIR being sued should something go wrong. They try to predict labor outcome, play safe, by choosing major surgery instead of trusting a woman's body to do what it is programmed to do. And something else you have to watch out for: There is an increasing risk of your OB actually going to court to become your unborn child's guardian to FORCE you into pregnancy and birthing decisions that you were adamant against. Any doctor that would use fear as a decision-making tool or disrespects the mother by not considering her emotional and physical well-being is NOT a good doctor.

Look into midwifery care. A lot of midwifes (even those in private practice) will work handinhand with a good OB to make sure that both the mother and twins are safe in whatever birthing environment you should choose. This scenario allows you to choose between every birthing option, be it homebirth (which is safe in normal healthy pregnancies, even in twins), alternative birthing centers (which offer the hominess of home with medical technology and usually close proximity to a hospital should a transfer, which is usually not emergency, needs to happen), or the hospital of your choice.

Also, consider a doula. This is a person that has experienced birth before and has training to calm the mother. While the midwife focuses on the birth, the doula focuses on the mother and father. She makes sure that momma is able to deal with labor pains (usually through massages, alternative labour positioning, calming words, etc), that momma and daddy know what's going on and that it's normal, and she also advocates your birthing plan when you are too overwhelmed by the situation to do it yourself. Often times, daddies are just as active in labor as momma and can't think straight to aggressively advocate.

Anyway, nice to see a very curious and active daddy-to-be. If you need websites, books, or sources, I'll provide.

Also, the books that Maggie suggested are VERY good. The sears parenting collection is a good investment (at least braincell-wise). Definitely look into attachment (or natural) parenting. And remember, not everything is going to go word for word as the books say it will, but it is a good idea to have a general concept to go off of.

*hugs* and congrats!

 

100% true! My OB was really glad I had a little labor about 4 days before we did the section with Sage. I had had preterm contractions since 12 weeks, and had been hospitalized with preterm labor at 6 months, but because I wasn't going to be able to carry her much longer, we schedueled the section what we thought was about 2 weeks early, for a Thursday. I had a MiniLabor on Saturday night, for about 6 hours, I went to sleep and slept all night, so it wasn't really labor, but the contractions were so intense, my OB was very happy, since Sage was going to be born a bit early. Turns out, they did do a amnio the day she was born and her lungs were totally mature (doc said the little labor may have helped) but, as I didn't know when I got pregnant, we were off with the due date and she was actully only 36.5 weeks along. But, she was totally mature, and healthy and healthy lungs, and we only stayed one extra day in the hosptial (my damn incision didn't want to start healing, and I wanted Sage to start to gain before we left) Long story short, my OB is a great beleiver in labors helping babies who might be born early. He says it stimuates natural corizones, which mature the lungs and help the baby with muscle tone.

 

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many babies are born with the cord wrapped around their necks, it usually doesn't mean a thing. My vbac baby had the cord around her neck twice, and midwife didn't even know it until baby was completely out of me because my water broke as she crowned, and she was born in a big gush of water all at once. No big deal.


I was really suprised, after my first was born via cesarean, to read the hospital records and find no mention of the cord issues they told me about when pushing me to agree to the cesarean. All those excuses they gave me, and no mention of any of it in the notes or records anywhere. I had to find out later, on my own, that my baby's distress was most likely caused by the induction meds the doctor gave me, and not because her umbilical cord was being compressed, or had prolapsed, or was wrapped around her shoulder, or any of the other nonsense I was told at the time.

 

Thanks. This makes sense.

OK.

Good idea! Thanks.

I see.

So, was this considered an emregency section? Do you think your attempted labor helped in some ways? physically, for you or for the babies? emotionally?

Literally, anything can happen...I see...

ONE QUESTION:

Since my wife's expecting twins, I plan to urge her to have almost full bedrest after her first trimester, according to what I am being told here, it CAN help and won't harm in any case....However, a relative of ours, an old lady, told my wife that she should remain ACTIVE....? because if she rests too much, her uterus and other reprod organs could get too relaxed and that could complicate labor...Can this be true in some cases?

 

OK, here's the thing about bedrest. Most mothers CAN remain active (within reason) during pregnancy, including twin moms. The problems, and the need for bedrest comes in if and when she starts contracting. Most mothers don't even FEEL preterm contractions, so it is a problem. I have seen moms go ALL the way to 10 cm (ready to deliver) 17 weeks early, and not even realize they are in labor.

I would encourage her to remain somewhat active. Some walking ect. Swimming is GREAT for pregnant moms. Bed rest is hard on your muscles and your bone density. (Activity keeps the muscles toned, and moving around helps with bone density.) It is really a hard thing to decide BEFORE she starts having preterm contractions, and she may be one of those womyn who doesn't have them.

Maybe have her monitor her contractions. I had a home monitor, to keep an eye on my "unfelt" contractions. With subsequent pretnancies I refused it, because I am one of the few who feel my contractions. She may want to talk to her doctor about a Tokos home monitoring system (Yeah, it's "high tec" but I really really feel everything needs to be done possible to prevent preterm birth) so she can be monitored for contractions. The Tokos is not like the hospital monitiors. You put it on and carry on with your regualar activities. There is no need to stay still, or lie down ect.

Anyway, a good relationship with her HCP is essensial.

Good luck.

Have her read "Having Twins" by Elizabeth Noble, and "Mothering Multiples" (forget the author, but she is on the La Leche League site.) because the pregnancy willl only last months, parenting those babies is really the most challenging part.

 

curious, would you mind if I moved this to the Parenting Forum? It might be a better place for it. I don't have to, but we get really great responses from experienced moms on that forum.

If you don''t want me to, I won't. But, there are basically nothing but moms and dads on the forum. We also have a subforum of the Men's Issues Forums for FATHERS,. You may want to check that out. http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55165

but, it would be best to keep this twins thread in either WIF or the Parenting forum. Sadly, the Men's Forum isn't a main page forum and doens't get as much traffic as I would like. But posting some questions about fatherhood in the forum for dads would be good for you.

 

I see. I guess it's still a good idea in any event to commit to some substantial bedrest. She wanted to remain as active as usual but on my urging she has gradually become more docile Also, another thing is, and this may be related, she has a slight tonus (not a hypertonus or anything) on the back side of her uterus and her doctor prescribed papaverine rectal capsules (their like small candles)that are supposed to ease the stomach cramps that she occasionally has. She says they help and the doc says it is nothing to worry about.

Sure, please feel free to move it to the Parenting Forum; I didn't realize it was a better place for such topics

Thanks!

 

Curious, please oh please read ANYTHING by Ina Mae Gaskin! She is an amazing midwife who works out of The Farm in Tennessee. You'll really get an idea of what a woman is capable of, even a mamma pregnant with twins. Good Luck!

 

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth would be a good one for a first-time parent who isn't already into the natural birth thing... I think that's what convinced my DH more than anything else, that I could give birth without a doctor's help, and that regardless of his fears, it was ultimitely my decision to make, not his.

 

Perhaps some of you have an experience in this......

My wife's blood type is negative, but mine is positive...Does this mean anything....??(during pregnancy, when giving birth or for the newly born)? Any precautions that she should take? (She is reaching the end of her first trimester with twins.)

 

I'd talk to your OBGYN or midwife about that. It can be complicated or not, depending on the situation.

 

Thanks! Her doctors know this...They say it is nothing to worry about...What do you mean, "depending on the situation"?

 

Ok. I found this site on -/+ blood types, ppl relating their stories...now I have an insight on risks. Thanks!
http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/pregnancy/oneg.html