personality changes

you gonna be all right, ol' pete.

 

There is no set amount of L that is going to mess you up. Some people get messed up by one trip - others trip a hundred times without experiencing major problems.

First of all, let me say that I definitely identify with you when it comes to wondering if you're crazy and feeling like your identity is always changing. In what ways are you changing quickly? Your moods? Your opinions? Behaviors?

The most important piece of advice I could give you is not to freak yourself out. I highly doubt the drugs have done nearly as much damage as you think. You are probably quite anxious about all of this stuff, and anxiety produces confusion and clouds intellectual performance (like forming good sentences, like your gf said). Of course she's going to think you're acting weird if you feel like you have to relearn how to interact with her every time you see her.

It seems to me like you're just having some identity issues right now, and trust me, I know it sucks, but it's really not as big of a deal as you think. I promise you, you aren't crazy... I can tell. You wouldn't even be bothering to post if you'd really lost it. Tons of people who haven't even touched drugs go through this stuff... drugs just have a tendency to push people into this kind of identity crisis. You're just questioning yourself way too much and getting freaked out about it. Sure, LSD could have something to do with it, but don't think that it's necessarily going to take four years for you to feel better. You can start the process to feeling better (and it is a PROCESS, with ups and downs... don't expect to feel great all the time starting tomorrow).

Don't take my advice too seriously because I don't really know you at all, but I feel like what you need more than anything else right now is some stability. You need to set a small goal or two for yourself, write down some things that you BELIEVE in (what do you believe in? this is very important). It's actually a blessing in disguise to have an identity crisis, because now you get to create yourself exactly as you want to. Think about what kind of person you want to be and then strive to be that person, without beating yourself up when you fall short of your ideal (which inevitably happens sometimes). One thing that really helps is being around other people who are stable. It's amazing how much we are affected by the mindsets or "vibes" of those around us. If you're hanging out with a bunch of people who are going nowhere, it's easy to get scared and stuck in a rut. Try to spend time with the people you trust the most and the people who have the strongest and most successful senses of self, and if you can't think of anyone who fits that description, you should embark on finding some people like that.

Feel free to PM if you wanna talk more about this... I hate to see someone in psychic pain, especially the kind of confusion that can come following drug abuse. Just rest assured a lot of people have been there before and come out on the other end much better people... you just gotta stay strong and do the best you can.

 

all that distracts the mind is illusion

 

shit man thats some wisdom right their.
but im pretty good now days. most of that stuff has gone away. iv stopped hangin out with those people. after the last trip i had which was about 3 weeks ago (fucks me why i did it, i went to see my friends and they had it, and i couldnt say no), which made things way worse when they had been sooo good. iv started lifting heaps of weights and on the protein powder and stuff. just out to want to feel good, and be good. that sort of thing. i sapose some times i dont really realise, but i have a lot of up feelings then suddenly down feelings like im on acid trip. up and down.

but anyway, im not worried, iv seen this stuff beiing bad then get better and get bad again, so im not like insane or anything.

and the identiy crisis thing has deffinatly worked itself out for sure.

u see i got really good then thought i could maybe take acid again, but i dont know. brings back alot of weird stuff. maybe in 5 years +

but deffinalty i couldnt keep doing acid, i would be way to weird to hold down a girlfriend. i guess if your at that point where you start loosing it, and sketchin out on people and its affecting relationships with family and friends because your farrrking weird, is when its gotten to weird.
cause certainly before that i could take acid hear and there and be perfectly fine you know, and thats exactly probably what happens to you people reading this... your like wtf is this guy on.

but in conclusion, dont be too worried with acid i sapose , i did heaps and bounced back fine , just be prepared to have months and months of mental anguish. but at the time you dont even think is it that...but still isnt really that, its just your journey thro life.

 

i remember not being able to look into the mirror for months... it was scaring and frightening.any reflection. but i dont come here much anymore cause it reminds me of bullshit, that i otherwise mostly just froget. im not complaing or anything most of my trips were just amazing...so who knows.

 

I am sure you have many more changes to come, Peter

Do you ever read through old posts and try to understand them or do you avoid that strongly?

 

simply put lol

 

Glad to hear things are going well. We all have our ups and downs, and we all have identity issues from time to time. Drugs can certainly exacerbate these things in some people. It sounds like you have a positive attitude which is the best resource you could have. Getting used to the ups and downs of life is a lifelong process, and it makes me happy to see that your ups and downs have gotten less traumatic lately

Keep it up, relax, and be yourself