One Bourbon One Chat One Beer

Who need reasons when you've got heroin...

 

I was thinking about a post I saw last week that was about some guy that got his dick jammed in the seat. It sounded stupid but I now see how it could happen.
I hurriedly put the seat down and sat on it. But I sat before the seat was all the way down. If it wasn't such a cold night I might have sat on the seat and the weight of my ass on the seat would have made it hard to pull out the Lil guy. And with the Lil guy stuck there, that would have made it hard to get my ass off the seat.

 

i know a guy who's grandfather hopped off a bed once and his sack got caught

it was one of those really old beds with springs around kind of like a trampoline

 

:yikes:

 

My mother used everything instant...Canned Biscuits, Instant Mashed Potatoes, Instant Tea, Instant Coffee.

I'm a better cook than she was because I cook instead of opening cans and boxes.

My daughter-in-law has a few basic Puerto Rican dishes she makes all the time. Now my son and I can also make them.

My daughter is learning to cook some things but she's mostly too busy to spend much time cooking.

One of my grandmother's baked well.

 

You ever get it caught in a zipper? I know my step brother is probly still talking about that time I did.
Happened again last month but not as bad because the underwear kept it from getting jammed in the teeth.

I got too used to wearing briefs...those boxers let it hang too much.


(Not sure why I wasn't wearing underwear when I was a kid that time...that didn't happen often back then)

 

zipper accident happened to me when i was a kid

i never never never ever did it again

 

I want to learn Asian foods. I've learned one trade secret and I scoffed when I was told, but for stir fries, key ingredient is oyster sauce. I didn't want it. Sounded gross. But boy does it make a difference!

I can fry and cook the Asian food it's just the sauces I'd like to make, the trademark sweet and sour take away sauce and alike.

I know the sauces are no good for my stomach and digestion, buuuut I'm silly enough to still eat them.

 

I would have swore it would never happen to me again...I had a couple drinks. That shit will sober you up right quick.

 

What actually gets caught if you are circumcised? I only assume you're circumcised because you're American. =p

 

That Chinese food is funny. (Not sure if it's the same Chinese food you guys get...I hear it's completely different in china.) Anyway that beef that they make, it isn't like any beef I had anywhere else ever. And the duck sauce. I have bought every kind at the store and none are like what you get in that Lil packet.

 

When I was a kid it was my scrotum. Last time it was just the tip.

 

thats kind of like asking why people cut their fingers by accident instead of just hurting the fingertips

 

a dab of sesame seed oil is used in lots of dishes

 

I don't know what that means.

Lol @ scrotum. I'd never heard anyone snagging that before.

Gone start calling you BIGG BALLAZ!

 

I've hunted every "sweet and sour" sauce with an Asian symbol and I've never found the one that every take away store uses. And they all use it!!! There should be oil ships with just sweet and sour sauce because I swear they all use this sauce and I cannot find it anywhere!!!

 

most restaurants make their own

its mostly sugar and vinegar



the plum sauce is usually made with pumpkin...not a plum in sight

 

It's All The Same Because They All Buy It Wholesale From A Chinese Foods Distributer..... :chef:



Cheers Glen..

 

Did you order a pumpkin spice latte?

 

curiosity killed the cat

bbad saw the update

irminsul saw the update

I wanted to see the update too


ffs...thanks you bastards....now I have that mental image swimming around my head as I lay me down to sleep