Older men/Younger women relationships

I have been guilty of this and I'm not so sure its not just a thought that all older guys will feel when in a relationship with a younger woman he truely cares about. But if you look at it, it's also a selfish thought and it doesnt allow the female side of the relationship a fair standing. The words in RED BOLD above could also be seen as something a father would think!!

 

Well, I don't know if you guys have seen "Six Days Seven Nights" with Anne Heche and Harrison Ford... But this movie is actually about an intergenerational relationship. Sorry if this seems like a spoiler if some of you haven't seen the movie, but there's a part where Harrison Ford is reluctant to pursue a relationship with Anne Heche, and Anne says along the line of "But isn't it also for me to decide?" I think this really is something we should keep in mind when we start "playing safe" with our younger (potential) partners.

I'm 35 now and my last ex was 21. With this girl, I never even thought I was "robbing her of her life". I think that a lot of it has to do with the fact that she's a lot more experienced in life than I am...despite our age difference. I've been talking to someone else lately, and I find myself being more careful with her because she's even younger than my ex. The new girl and I aren't dating, we are friends at this point. But I've let her know I'd be more assertive about us if I was younger. I think that, under the different circumstances, we'd be dating. But since we're both under the circumstances that we're in, I don't think we'll be pursuing anything romantically.

But who knows, maybe we'll actually get together someday. Never say never.

 

Hahaha OH speaking of raising a child!..LOL I always had this thing about dating an older man and him adopting me...LOL hmmm..infact I said to my last boyfreind who had has a daughter my age "Would you like to ave another duaghter'?...lol he thought I meant having a baby, But I meant ME!..lol and he laughed alittle at that. I actaully looked that up alongggg timeeee ago!..LOL and ITs possible. If the man is 20 or more years older then the adoptee and a judge see's good reason. We are both adults and I woudnt need my parents permission. EH anyways... I dont know maybe this is all died!.. :$ I used to have MANY fantasies about it...it hits to close to home..heheh..daddies little girl...Uhh err I mean stepfather... The part about the adopting thing was just cuz then that way they'll always be apart of my life. I mean I just got sick of people coming into my life then next thing ya know their gone...and I'm back to the drawing board etc...Well anyways so here I am 3years later and I chose to stay single. just cuz!..lol and i MAY choose to be single for the rest of my life!..lol frankly I think relationships are freaken overrated... all I have ever gotten was hurt/sent back to the drawing board again..arhhh I really dont care anymore LOL I try not to get attached to anyone soo much.cuz all it ever gets me is nowhere anyways...best bet is just to concentrate on family and freinds. This is my main focus now.

 

By the way whats so wrong with wanting a welll...the whole 'daddies little girl' thing is beatifull!!...nothing wrong with it ^_^ of COURSE you can have a relationship like that!...The whole dynamic of it is umm specail..lol..I dont know. unless these girl are REALLY screwed up or something. My childhood was VERY good I loved it..and THATS the only reason...its just about combining two wonderfull expereinces into one. Umm even tho it may be warped... lol err and well the wrongness of it is also the other thing that turns me on...lol Ya know its seen as a bad thing oviously.

 

so is ice cream chili...

 

I'm 17, and i'm more into older guys just simply because the people my age are fucking idiots.
I feel like a teacher when i'm around them.
have yet to actually date an older guy because i'm not about to give them statutory rape charges.

 

In my opinion, it's just how things work out for some people. I really don't believe people should put too much focus on the age issue. There's a girl I've been talking to for a little while... Actually, it's the same girl I mentioned in my last post on this thread. She's been through a lot in life, and once again I feel like I'm the inexperienced one of the two, lol. xD But that doesn't matter, lol. She and I have great conversations, and we've become pretty good friends over the past little while.

We DO flirt sometimes, too. She tells me never to worry about my word choices during our conversations. Nevertheless, I try to make sure she doesn't feel like she's being taken advantage of when we talk, because she's had guys using her in the past. It's a respect thing for the most part, but it's also me being over-protective of her a little bit, too. And the thing is, I like being that caring big-bro type figure. I always have, and I really don't see this as a bad thing. I'm not the one using girls after all.

I think I also have a tendency to somehow attract younger girls by default. I DO look younger than I actually am, and I also don't give off the vibe of an "old"(if 35 was even "old", that is) dude. I've had high schoolers try to flirt with me and to hook me up with their friends, lol. I've always been a gentleman about it and explained my situation to them in a polite manner. I'm still friends with some of them actually, which I'm happy about because friendships are definitely good.

 

Age is an issue whether you want it to be or not. Personally, yes I like older guys. However I am not going to date anyone more than 5 years older than me. With an age gap that big, you don't have the same concerns or life experiences, where do you relate and understand the other?

Now where the big issue is, is someone over 25 dating someone under 18. Again I go back to: what do you have in common? They are concerned about college, and you are already done with college. You are concerned about bills, they are concerned about the latest facebook update. I guess I can understand the power/control aspect of a relationship with that big of an age gap. But that is unfair to the girl.

I had a friend who dated a guy 10 years older than her... when she turned 18 he told her, she was too old for him... broke her heart... People who like to date in this matter (i get older but the girls keep getting younger) will never be happy with one girl for very long.

 

Yes but, in my opinion, it's an issue mainly because the we have allowed the modern society to train us into thinking it has to be an issue. I think that your opinion is a great example of this. Reason being, you're not making a room for exceptions. Five years may, or may not, be a big age gap. It all depends on the couple and how they perceive the whole age issue. It's a big gap for you because, perhaps, that's how you've learned to perceive the whole matter. I see it as a rather miniscule difference because I tend to have a very easy time relating to, and understanding someone who are either younger, or older, than I am. I communicate with them and exchange information, so really, to me at least, a big gap doesn't automatically mean potential communication failure. To me, it's an opportunity to exchange ideas and further excel as people.

You can have many things in common with people who are either much younger, or older. I have many things in common with my 50+ year old friends, and I have equally many things in common with my 14 year old friends. I relate to younger people more just because I'm young at heart myself. It does not have to have anything whatsoever to do with the aspect of power or control. Like I said in my previous post, age gaps are just something that happen to work out for some people. I think that the whole theory where older party always has to be the one to traumatize the younger party is quite frawed. Obviously the reverse cases exit. I've been in one such situation myself. She was the younger one, I allowed myself to let her take control of my emotions, my decisions...and in the end the relationship failed. I must admit it was not an ideal relationship, but was I the one being unfair to her? No, I seriously don't see how I could have been. I won't get into it further, though. After all, it happened a long time ago, and the relationship really was good while it lasted.

About your friend's case... First of all, I'm sorry she had to experience that. Very unfortunate, indeed. But that is just an EXTREME example that portrays one type of men. If you ask me, the guy your friend was dating sounds more like a jerk than anything else, regardless of his age preference. Not all men are like that though, of course. In fact, I've known of a married couple who have known each other since the girl was thirteen and the guy was 37. They got married when she turned sixteen, have been happily married for the last 13 years, and with children. Mind you this SO DID NOT happen in USA but...moral of the story? It all depends on the individual and on the couple.

 

It is rare to find 2 people who can have this kind of relationship work. I got lucky, I met my late wife when she was 16 and I was 38. We spent the first few months becoming the best of friends only, and it blossomed from there to the most wonderful relatonship I've ever known for over 16 years. Sadly, she passed away a few months ago from a nasty illness rooted in her childhood. We made it because we were friends and accepted each other completely. Accepted completely- that's the secret most people don't get.

 

I think it's absolutely possible! I have been attracted to older men all my life... My first love was 42 years older than me; we had many wonderful years together and probably still would be together today if he hadn't eventually pushed me to find someone I could marry and have children with... Which I did and I am grateful for the three beautiful children I have today... The marriage part didn't work out so well and I have never loved my husband the way I loved him. I have since met and fallen madly in love with a man 22 years older than me and he is my true soul mate, my true love and he feels the exact way about me, we feel about each other the way neither one has ever come close to feeling about anyone else before! Money was never an issue (he has less than me) and I have a wonderful relationship with my father, so much for the daddy issue... When it comes to love age doesn't matter one bit. His only fears are having the energy to raise three young children and my only fear is that I will probably outlive him by many years but that's a price I'm willing to pay... Much love and peace to you!

 

HAHA...priceless. What? No cartoons for you? LOL

 

I am 14 years older than my wife. I am also raising my 3 teenage kids with her help. Sometimes it is pretty difficult with our age differences since I am much more on the easy going side and she is still out to get the world. However, we talk, we communicate, we argue and we make up all the time. We get along most of the time very well. I think mostly because she is an old soul like me. We just fit well.

 

me and my hubby happily married, he is over 25 years older than me i never had a problem with my dad and he isn't rich, we just love each other plain and simple.... he used to be married and that didn't work for them so they got divorced and now he is happier than ever! we just fight perfectly together we don't know how this could be but we are truly soul mates..

 

I've been dating a dude 14 years older for a while now, and I can say we forget about the age difference more often than we notice it.

 

I never had a relationship with a 10+ year difference with an older man but me and my friend whos 38, have fun in the bedroom, and it recently started, i gotta say hes just about the best guy i had.

I never gave any thought to his age. i dont have "daddy issues" i love my dad very much. I guess i wanted something new cause really, the guys my age or close to it, are idiots. what happens when i go 10 years older, here i am, happy and smiling and now im wanting to date him.

so yes i think its possible. older men just know what they want and women like that. plus most of them arent out to hurt us

what i wont do is date a guy my dads age. thats kinda sick and twisted

 

You're right Dara. I date younger women. They say I (we) treat them much better.

 

i wouldn't really trust what a girl who has multiple elderly boyfriends says anyway.

 

my boyfriend is alot older than me, but I dont care... i love him to bits and he's a real sweetie though sometimes the age gap can be a bit of a burden in terms of experience and judgement from others

 

I turn 32 this week and my g/f will be 25 in Oct. she likes to give me a hard time once in a while about it, but age really isn't a huge thing once you atleast both in 20's or older IMO.