Hi just joined but can appreciate ur dilemma but from slightly different angle. But I would ask you this question first does the thought of watching another guy please your wife disgust you? Or does it turn u on? As a fantasy that is. Now my opinion of why she wants threesome with her bi male friend, well either she finds him attractive, or feels she could be comfortable with him, or and this is from my own experience as a number 3 most str8 guys find it difficult to be with a guy and his wife, they worry that hes bi and may cross the mark, but also in a threesome mmf you will come into contact with him and vice versa you may even find your private parts touching and for most str8 guys this wud be a mind xxxx so she maybe feels that her bi freind wud b more likely to step up to the mark and not hav these hangups. The alternative is that she has sum fantasies about you and he or she wants u to experiment. The reality is that this is just my view what you need to do is discuss it with your wife as to why him if she's told you about wanting 3sum then she must be able to explain why with him. All I wud say is talk discuss what u both want or wud like if u decide to go forward then discuss both ur boundaries and what u won't do and don't want be honest with each other and if u do turn fantasy into reality it can be great but if it's just fantasy for bedroom when feeling sexy together and not discussed elsewhere then it really should remain fantasy. But if you go forward with him then he must understand ur boundaries and that sex is just that and nothing more. Gosh I've gon on abit but I've been the 2nd guy and have my own fantasies regards my wife whom I love greatly but am hoping to turn into reality as well I've gon on enough but it was great when I did it for all of us and I now want similar with my wife sorry for going on & on
Oh another quick thought, who brought up wanting a 3sum if it was you then she may of said only with her bi/gay m freind cos she's not up for it and knows it will do exactly this mess with ur head
Guess I've bored everyone Or you've all gone to bed but if ur interested my own view on 3sums or more sums is if u want it do it and enjoy it but if ur a couple make sure u both want it really anyway unless someone posts that's all from me lol
If your first post had been punctuated, it would have made easier reading. I just look at big slabs of text and ignore them.
Man dude is English your second fucking language. Text language makes you read like a fucking moron. C/S, Rev J
Sounds like she might be getting from somewhere else, possible from this "gay" friend. Watch your back.
I agree mate, she has been getting it from elsewhere, your kidding yourself if u think otherwise. Dont submit to her.. be a man. Or someone else will.
In answer to the questions posted by dave, no the idea of her getting pleased by another man does not disgust me and it does sort of turn me on, I quite like the idea of her been out of control as she is so prim and proper and would like to know if she would actually be able to handle it..... he doesnt do anything for me however although we used to get on, part of the question was to see if she would discus sex with someone else as she wont communicate with me about it even though I have tried lots of times
Seriously mate this is not rocket science. Just talk to your wife and ask her want she wants, feed alcohol if neccessary to get her loosened up. Coming onto a website like this to ask others things that you should be asking her is not the answer. Set up a game on paper if you still cant do it ..asking her to write down her unfullfilled fantasies or something. You do the same for her. Grow some balls, your the man in the relationship, dont leave it up to her.
The problem is that I have tried to talk about it, ply her with alcohol etc and nothing works she almost flatly refuses to talk about sex.... hence why I was going to pretent to be her bi friend and try and talk to her as a "friend" to find out.... the question was originally about that?
OMG with the communication replies. And she may not be getting it elsewhere, she could just be a cold fish
So has anyone got any ideas on how to stop her been a cold fish even if it only gets her mildly interested?
Personally I dont think she is getting it else where as she doesnt have the gumption to do it..... hence one of the reasons why I would be interested to know if she would do the 3some if while I was pretending to her "bi friend" brought it up?
Put her in the microwave for 30 seconds? Seriously man she's your wife, how are some strangers on a forum who don't even know her first name going to give you advice on this? If you don't know how to turn your wife on, and this is causing you distress, you need to tell her this. You've already tried talking with her about sex, now try talking with her about how her not talking with you about sex, is not good! If she still is a cold fish then you need to consider marriage counseling. There could be a MILLION reasons why she won't be dirty and flirty with you, anything from hormonal changes in her body to she's cheating on you. Maybe she's depressed? Maybe she doesn't feel sexy? Maybe you have no idea how to make a woman feel dirty and sexy? Stop involving the bi friend already, you are completely missing the point. You need to turn her on yourself, stop outsourcing your cock. Very slippery slope . . . as is deceit.
I am looking for general advice then as I have tried everything that used to work and suggested new things, I have tried talking about not talking about it and she just shuts the conversation down and says that I am selfish? She is 29 so I doubt she is having hormonal changes, so give me hints on how to make her feel dirty and sexy etc?
Come on people, seem to have gone off topic the origional question was do I pretend to be her "bi friend" via text to see if I can get her to open up about sex to someone else, she doesn't speak to him any more so I would have to pretend to re establish contact......
