My G/f moved in with her F/B

It's certainly a strange situation, and I dont' want to cast judgment... I would just say as an observer that it seems that both of you might have problems with real one-on-one intimacy. Allowing other people into a relationship to the degree that you have might keep you from really becoming and staying super close to each other.

I have to disagree on one point - I would say that by her living with a boyfriend, she did indeed leave you, regardless of whether she still talked to you on the phone and fucked you once in awhile.

Also, I was in a a long term relationship that started when we were teens. I wish we had ended things a lot sooner, because we both grew and changed, yet clung to this relationship out of habit and a desire not to buck the status quo. Isn't it possible that you or she or both of you have just been trying to prolong this relationship without allowing it to go any further? She's trying to have her cake and eat it, too by being "with" you and also seeing other men and experiencing new things. Did you get a chance to do that as well?

What would you have done if she had fallen in love with her boyfriend that she was living with? Would you feel jealous? Would you be upset if she broke things off with you to be with him? I only ask because the feelings you describe are so alien to how I would feel if someone I loved were living with and fucking another man. I couldn't, and wouldn't be able to handle it. I would just go find someone to have a one-on-one monogamous relationship with. I guess I'm a little old-fashioned, but that's what I want in a relationship.

 

So, she is living with this guy now, and all is still well between you?

 

i feel dirty, because i live in the same city as you. o.o ridiculous, this is weird.

are you actually comfortable with this situation?

 

1 We are deeply in love with eachother and in no way are we just trying to prolong a dead or boring relationship, we do plan on getting married once we're done with college. I would call it more of "spicing" up the relationship a bit considering all the years we've been together, its nice to go to bed to someone else sometimes. Do you eat steak everyday?

2 Oh but I do agree with you, she DID leave me and publicly at that. Everyone knew she was no longer my girlfriend but rather his. What I was trying to say is that she currently IS my girlfriend, she was from the day they broke up two months after they moved in together. Reason for us to do a public break up was so we wouldn't get all this bla bla bla from people telling her she was cheating and what not, by doing this they simple accepted her lover as her new boyfriend and she did not have to hide anything in regards to showing public display of affection.

3 She did fall in love with him in fact almost a year later and she still misses him, yes I did feel jealous but we talked about all the possibilities prior to taking such a huge step and I was prepared for the worst, a risk I took. If she would've left me permanently for him then I would've definitely been SOL for being a dumb fuck and not being able to satisfy her emotionally, physically and unconditionally. Luckily I'm able to do those and she came back. She's had her share of close friends and she always comes back.

Thanks for your comment, I definitely see where you're coming from and believe me, if this wasnt one of my sexual fantasies, I'd be asking the same things and thinking I'm such a moron but I've obviously thought all this well before including the questions you've asked...my small head wins over my bigger head sometimes.

No, please read that again, or perhaps I might've made a typo but she is living me with as of April 2009 when she got rid of her apartment lease. However if that were the case, yes all would be well between us regardless of her living by herself or with another man.

I'm so sorry if I really disgust you that much, believe me..it IS weird driving your girlfriend to other guys places to drop her off for the weekend but thats the fantasy that really struck me as of 2004 (read my original thread from 04 if you have time on your hands and interested), seeing your girlfriend get dressed up real pretty, fixing up her hair real nice, and smelling so good as if she were going to a club or for dinner but instead its for me to take her to her friend's house and leave without her. I got used to it and no I dont mind at all, I love seeing her looking good.

 

I really don't get how that works. And I'm not one for the traditional model of a relationship unless it's done right (which it rarely is). I find more experimental models of relationship seem to get more care put into them than the traditional ones anymore - even if it's the same person in both types of relationships. In fact, sometimes I tease and hint at my girlfriend that we could have fun with others =P

And letting her stay the night once in awhile is one thing. But letting her do it all the time, or letting her move in with them - that takes some balls man. I mean, it's nothing against your emotional bond or anything - but shit happens - very unexpected shit sometimes. She could easily feel more needed by the other person, or start to find the other person more interesting, couldn't she?
(Then again, there is something that neurologists have found that is called the monogamy hormone in lay, that makes feelings of devotion with a loved one [some people have more active ones than others], and I'm damn certain if I fooled around with another person it would be strictly a casual loving experience, rather than a very emotional or bonding one.)
I dunno, I just wouldn't like the risk (but I can be a very safe playing guy at times.)
Do you plan to spend the rest of your life with her?
What would happen to you if, god forbid, she did fall for a fuck buddy?

 

When she very first started being promiscuous in 04-05 and she still had some inhibitions, I would usually drop her off and pick her up from her friends places, sometimes her friends would pick her up and I'd get a call late at night from her asking me to pick her up at his place. That slowly started changing as she got more and more comfortable with what she was doing and with whom she was doing it with.

Eventually we both mutually thought the idea of her actually spending the night with her close friends was a good idea because it'd be "intense". She'd actually leave some spare sexy PJs there or she'd simply only sleep in her thong and she would actually sleep with her lover and could do it during the middle of the night or some more in the morning. Things progressed, sometimes she'd spend one night, sometimes the the entire weekend, however this wasnt every weekened, only once in a while until she really got comfortable over the years.

After many years of her spending the night with many guys, it was just plain normal for us, whenever she was doing something we both automatically knew she might be spending the night with him. This is the point where she did get a boyfriend while she was still living with me and we both thought that her moving in with him would be an extra kick since the whole sleeping over thing was already kind of the norm for us. We decided to do this and came up with a bunch of ground rules and what not and just went through with it.

Over the course of 5 years (time she's been active), many thoughts of her leaving me for someone else have gone through my head, realistically she can leave me whenever she wants for whatever reason, doesn't have to be because of another guy but rather my wrong doing. I have not yet had a false alarm or been frightened or her seriously leaving me. Personally I think the lifestyle we're living out is weird for others but for both of us its hot. Its risky but so are many things in life, I myself am known by my friends and family to be a risk taker.

She did fall for her fuck buddy, he was her boyfriend for 2 months. She did not leave me for him but if she were to leave it, it would really suck and I would only blame myself for taking such risk on letting her date outside our relationship. So far I'm going to keep taking that risk, we both enjoy what we do.

I do plan to spend the rest of my life with her as she does with me, we've been talking about marriage for quite some years now but we want to ensure we both have fun first, finish our college education, get a career, AND have money in the bank prior to taking a step so serious such as marriage and starting a family.

Sorry if I've bored you with such long reply but I do really appreciate everyone's comments and opinions. I can handle criticism if it isn't in an insulting manner.

 

It appears as if you're getting duped over by this chick. But if you're comfortable with the way things are going, then more power to ya.

 

lol

 

lol, not quite sure if thats meant as positive or negative thing for me.. Am I the one you're considering successful?

 

dude, you're not successful imo... lets be clear on that.


its that pack of haterz, that i was reffering to.


all i gotta say is that, you do you and don't let anybody tell you its wrong.

 

You're entitled to an opinion but this thread shouldn't be a base for you to make that assumption unless you're strictly referring to that situation

 

Any update you can offer on what's been going on in your life?

 

Lol sweet GF, I'm sure you find comfort in those words.

 

how do you know she has to be friends? because she tells you?? LMAO, oh yes hunny... i always screen all the men before they give me orgasms. *PLEASE* continue this nonsense so i can have a good laugh reading these threads.

btw, why are you getting offended by the responses by people. if your so comfortable w/ it, it should be water off under the bridge for you.

 

i met a female many many years ago that wanted a "open" relationship, basically having her cake and eating it too. i'm so glad it ended after a month because a few months later she got knocked up by one of those men. can you imagine your so called gf getting knocked up? birth control isn't 100%.

 

Sounds to me like she's the other guy's girlfriend, and you're the guy on the side.
Probably won't be long before you get eaked out altogether - except when one of her new guys pisses her off and she temporarily retreats to familiar territory.

 

To me it doesn't really matter whether they're her friends or a one nightstand... where does it say that I'm super worried whether it has to be a friend or not? And yes we have seen the results sheet afterward so keep on talking. I'm not getting pissed off by the criticism rather YOUR ignorance.

Yes sounds just about right, she was his girlfriend and I was the guy on the side.. I'm not hiding anything. To everyone we knew he was known as her main and only bf except some of her friends and her sisters knew we did secretly do things behind her boyfriend's back.

For your information this was over a year ago and it was just for a period of time, they broke up WAYYYY over a year ago. It was fun and kinky during the period it lasted though.

 

i think thats great!! u should definetly stand behind her no matter what. she loves u i can tell

 

I still cant believe you've been here since 2004 and have 163 posts. thats awesome hahaha

 

Interesting, i've heard of variations of this sort of thing before. But never the gf moves in with the other man. I guess its only fair if its an open relationship and she cares about all of you equally. I personally would be jealous if my bf moved in with someone else tho. Kudos for being so open.