my boyfriend masturbating next to me

Who should be considerate? Should he tolerate her or should she tolerate him? I would think it would be less painful for her to put up with him beating off for a few minutes than for him to be too horny to sleep. That can be very unpleasant. She's just being selfish - couples should think of the other person first. Masturbation never harmed anyone.

 

Everyone knows or should know once you move in with a woman she will let you know when And how you can get sexual satisfaction. Or you are an inconsiderate asshole.

 

I vote if you can't toss the guy off, you don't deserve love.

 

It ain't like he's barging into the bathroom to drop a deuce while you're brushing your teeth, OP.

Seriously, I don't see the problem here. If he's having marathon sessions that take an hour and he's keeping you up...yeah, that's an issue. Taking ten to crank one out next to you after you've given him a "no dice" isn't a big deal.

 

I don't believe all this shit.

You guys want to know why we stop sleeping with you? Because you make sex seem like a responsibility- that we owe you sex rather than it being a mutual act of love and passion. You know what that feels like? A job. Are you happy just being one more thing on her to-do list or do you want her to genuinely want you? Or suddenly does it not matter what a woman is comfortable with once she agrees to be your housemate? Whatever happened to compromise? Love, understanding, compassion??

You should never owe someone an orgasm, and if you are not in a sexy mood, you should not have to have it waved under your nose. Not only if it makes someone uncomfortable, but also if it brings a feeling of guilt that he wouldn't have to do that if you would just comply with him (you bad, bad wifey, why don't you just do your womanly duty?). Sex is a mental exercise for women and the weirder you make us feel about it, the less you're going to get. If you fuck us up, we could be broken for a while. If we don't let you know we're uncomfortable, then no one will be happy.

What is he tolerating? She's not saying "never masturbate." She's saying "I'd rather you not do it in my immediate vicinity." The whole rest of the house is up for grabs and he chooses right there next to her knowing it makes her uncomfortable? Why is it so much to ask to scoot into another room for thirty seconds? It's not an admission of shame, it's just out of respect for someone's comfort zone. Thank GOD, my man respects mine...

We all have hangups, whether we like to admit it or not. If one person's are not compatible with another's, they should go their separate ways if it is that important to them. Personally, I wouldn't throw a relationship away on something so trivial if I knew it REALLY bothered someone I was seeing. Then I would just be standing my ground to get my way at all costs, and that would be childish. It certainly wouldn't bother me to simply move into another room to take care of my own business...

Every single night, night after night whether we want to or not? THAT'S love?? What the hell is going on in this thread??

Maybe you all need to find some women with no boundaries to canoodle with, because sometimes we have some, and it's just good manners to respect them, and if you can't, kindly see your way to the door rather than just browbeating us with it to make your point. There's no reason we should give up every ounce of our comfort for yours. That's a little one-sided if you ask me.

 

Love is taking care of each other. If you don't want to take care of your partner, you don't deserve to be taken care of.
Sex isn't just for fun, you know. It's a natural need and comes with many health benefits.

Not if we see to our partner's comfort as well.

There's gonna be some give and take in every relationship. But this isn't about boundaries. There's a lot of things a woman can do to please a man that take little to no effort, hell, taking your tits out will do for most guys.

I have a great sex life and great relationship (never had a fight in 4 years), OP is looking for advice; my advice is that she needs to be less selfish.

 

I'm glad I don't live with my girlfriend and have my own bed to jerk off in whenever I want and don't have to banish myself to the kitchen. Unless I want to jerk off into the dishwasher...

 

your bare feet will do..

 

So you are in fact saying "do your wifely duty." How enlightened. You've dressed it up quite nicely, though, in lieu of your earlier, predictable Neanderthal response.

Not everyone has the same sex drive. That's a crucial part of compatibility. Just because one person's is lower does not make them undeserving of love. That is incredibly unfair. If you have found someone who is willing to give it to you every night, more power to you, and God bless her. Hopefully she actually has the drive to back that up and isn't harboring some kind of fear that you'll leave her if she doesn't keep up, or resentment that will eventually cause anorgasmia later in life as a result of all of her repressed emotions. Clearly, you're not the type who takes no for an answer. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's how you have made it sound.

Well I have been in a relationship with my fiance for 5 years, and while we cannot boast that we have never had a fight, I think I can say we've done quite well, and my advice is that it is not selfish to not be comfortable with someone jerking it two inches away from them when they are not in the mood. Your theory that we should all just force ourselves into the act solely for our partner's benefit every time he has a hardon is not healthy, and can actually cause sexual dysfunction in both parties.
I'm not saying you should never participate- by all means give him a handy if you want to help him out, but if you are really not into it, then it shouldn't be your responsibility. Personally, I would feel like shit if I said "oh just take out your tits then" and she rolled her eyes and lifted her shirt, clearly not into the act at all. But I'm sure you would say she should either get in the mood or fake it or she doesn't love you and doesn't deserve love from you or anyone else... basically what you've been saying all along.

 

It would be much easier if wymin had a detachable snatch!

 

NOTE TO GLEN:- Cancel Cocktails With FunHogg This Cuming Saturday Night...:ack2:



Cheers Glen.

 

It's a husband's duty as well.
You're the one being sexist; assuming that since I am male, I only expect it to go one way.

I shall honor no other part of your response, due to this bullshit double standard.

 

i am sticking to my opinion....a courteous guy will excuse himself to the bathroom if it is something that bothers the lady.. there is no answer here that fits the problem because everyone is different...she may be a little uptight about jerking off but it shouldnt be a deal breaker

 

You could cum in it to your cock's content and get the missus to empty it out in the morning. And she wouldn't make those slimy "snail trails" on the carpet going to the bathroom to douche after you'd done her.

 

I can't imagine ever being in a relationship with someone who would be uncomfortable with this.

 

I Just Fell Off My Puuuter Chair Due To Excess Mirth, What An Evil Man I Am....



Cheers Glen.

 

if i was a girl and i didn't feel like having sex i think i would prefer that my man masturbate in my presence than not. i'd hold him and nibble his ear at least, at least you're somewhat involved then right? at least there's some "together" to it then. shooing him off to the bathroom so he can fantasize about his secretary probably isn't much better?

 

"Politically Correct" meant voting Labor when I was a kid.

 

Imagine the financial trouble men would be in if hand basins and dunnies could become pregnant!!

 

That was your assumption, not mine. I specifically said it could cause anorgasmia in both parties. If I need to clarify further, then no, I would no more expect him to drop his pants and take it out for me on command than he should expect me to do the same. I have gone to bed frustrated and gotten over it on occasion, just as he has. Yes, I believe in give and take, but not compulsively. Sex is a need, I agree, but frequency is not an exact science. The more you force, the harder it becomes to enjoy. I wouldn't do that to him, and he does not do it to me.
If I seemed like I was speaking solely for women, it was because I was trying to impress how much more mental an act it is for us than it is for you. We have to be in the right place emotionally in order to have an orgasm, and guilt, resentment, and frustration, either from the current session or previous ones, are not conducive to that.
Also, it is mainly men in this forum claiming that we should basically be at your beck and call, so I was addressing them directly, because they are, in fact, male.
This is a loaded argument since the feminist movement has taken hold and begun addressing things such as marital rape, etc, so it had to come up at some point. I don't blame you for jumping to that conclusion, but I'm sorry, that's not where I'm coming from.