My boyfriend lost his confidence after losing a fight and it's affecting our sex life

I tried to rep you for this post and I couldn't so I'll just publicly express my agreeance. Many people automatically assume that another man would/will be threatened or intimidated by some half evolved idiot who gets in a cage and fights because women find such cavemen sexually attractive.

I'll tell you what gives me confidence, it isn't getting punched in the face. It's having a brain and a good attitude, something intelligent women find quite appealing.

The old stereotypical roles are starting to disappear and as they do, the protective/paternalistic role of men is becoming less and less common. Many women do prefer those types of guys. However as the roles and needs of people in society evolve, men and women evolve to better accomodate one another and their needs of desire and companionship. Some do anyways.

 

I find a lot of buff guys quite needy of my approval, when I socialize with them. Some call me "bro", and try to be friendly, etc.

I'm friendly with women. Friend-zoned? NO. I'm friendly, but I'm not their friend. Or, at least, not until I have actually developed a friendship with them, and neither of us want to take it any further --- as is the case with a coworker of mine, currently.

So, I'll hang out, I'll dance, I'll chew the fat...but I won't hold doors, I will not listen to "my boyfriend's an asshole" confessionals, I won't compliment, I will not give them rides to and from work, and I won't pay for drinks or dinner.

In other words, I treat them exactly like I do my male friends. But they'll know if I want to fuck them because I'll flirt and I'll look (not stare) at their body. And then, if they flirt back I might suggest we go back to my place. :2thumbsup:

Lining up chicks on the first row of my big MMA fight seems a lot more work than is needed.

 

I find the opposite. Most of the time they're assholes who are overly aggressive and very insecure about their intellect. I've known numerous guys who were into fighting, MMA training, that sort of thing. Any time I'd say something that they didn't catch or didn't understand they'd get really agitated and confrontational. Even if it were an innocent joke.

Something else I noticed was a lot of them would talk about or bring up their penis' often. I don't know why they did but that always made me uncomfortable.

I'm going to take all that into account and try it :2thumbsup:

How though do you get out of the "my boyfriends an asshole" rant? I've been the ear for a few of those, it's a hard thing to get out of. Especially because they usually want feedback...

LOL!

 

break up with him if his ego gets shot down that easily over one fight. so what

 

I like penis jokes and I'm interested in fighting, but I still read Yukio Mishima. So, maybe that's why they don't bother me.

Edit: I do consider my audience in my choice of topics, though.

I basically treat them like Evangelicals, or door-to-door salespeople, or homeless mendicants begging for change chasing you the entire length of a city-block, or co-dependent, overweight aunties at Christmas bending my ear.

Nothing wrong with simply stating that you'd rather not hear about her personal business...If she insists, you can pull out a Tyler Durden, "This conversation is over" and walk away. It will not compromise your chances; if anything it will increase them.

 

So even if you're "friends" with a woman you have no problem saying, "I'm sorry but I don't really want to hear your personal business."?

At that point wouldn't they just get insulted and not want to talk to you?

 

my experience with buff guys is much closer to cherea's.

penis talk is kind of rare among that group in my experience.

i thought he said this was how he dealt with women he's not friends with.

 

I'm really selective who my actual friends are. And I don't want to fuck any of them; that's why they are my friends.

However, I am friendly with everyone who treats me and themselves with respect. And, to be honest, washing your dirty laundry with anyone who's friendly does not signal self-respect.

Unless, it's on the internet...then it's sexy. :sunny:

 

Yes.

About the frat set, some get all homoerotic and sweaty and drunk and want to cry and hold me and claim unconditional camaraderie and friendship after half an hour of being introduced to me.

It's a little annoying, but hey that's bars and, frankly, I can use some lovin'.

 

look im know therapist, but that is something that he has to get over. it is still in his mind and he does remember seeing u at the fight. so put that in the equation. work with him, boost his ego. play games, talk about his figure, buy him something. Hell, go behind his back and talk to his trainer and try to get him a easy fight that he can win. Make him a winner again, do something special without him knowing. he has to get on his feet again. you might not give him some for a while until he is real horney. then see what happens

 

"Brain, oh Brain, take me"....he/she wants a brain, not some dude called Brian.

 

Uhhh use some drugs to enhance the feelings of pleasure that could make a switch.