Most Men Don't Practice Chivalry, Why???

i like to have my cake and eat it too. i have the most bitchin job ever, i prob will not have kids, im a total slob but i like to be taken care of. no i might not clean the house but ill give amazing head..and come on now which ones better?

 

ha!

 

Well, that's good then. I know some people expect not to help anyone but everyone help them. Sadly I have a cousin like that. Ugh.

 

Why don't men practice chivalry?

In brief addition to what RetroGroove_Grrl already pointed out, and I agree almost entirely with what she said, but:

Take a look at the guys girls pick.

 

This is my exact oppinion. And besides that, I believe that the fact that we don't have the male/female role thing abolished pretty much, is surely one of the causes that lead to the high divorce rate we have today.
And please don't call me old fashioned, or anti-women-movement sympathizer.

I am not for a rigid role model. But I would say a relationship is a lot easier if the authorities in the different areas are clear. I was brought up with the thought that as a women you have to be able to handle everything: repairing the heater, cooking sewing, being highly educated, fixing the car. So from a stoneage point of view, where the women bears children and watches them, and the man brings home food, and cares for shelter, I don't need a man. I can do everything myself perfectly. My last long term relationship broke for the reason that we both didn't need each other. Sometimes I think that it is important for long term relationships, to not only love each other, but also to need each other to support each other. (Where the EACH OTHER is the important part of the sentence.) (and need not in the sense of misuse, or exploitation)

So I can now see some positive aspects of a classical role model, which is of course based on respect, and on free choice.

sorry, if you feel that I accidentally hijacked the thread, this was not my intention.

 

Here is where I stand on this point. Yes, I do believe "Role Models" do exist somewhat in our society, and are quickly being weened out because of the advancements in the rights of women. I do think they are derived from religions/Holy Bible.

But I have come to understand it doesnt matter what you label acts of kindness. It's truly about respecting your fellow mankind and collecting positive karma. If I see someone behind me and open the door reguardless if its a man or woman, according to these posts on here it may result in positive or negative feelings about you. I'd venture to say that 90% of the time its going to positive.

To take it a step further, after the person behind me walks thru the door and doesn't think about it but their natural reaction is to say "Thank You" then I have collected positive results. Has anyone here studied a bit of psychology? If you have then you definately know how postive things can boost your self esteem drastically. I surely know I have more respect for a person that says "Your Welcome" and "Thank You" when positive things have been done for them. What this comes down to is a two way retrospective of kindness, wheather it be consciously or subliminal.

My opinion on life is that one should absorb all the postive things in their life and turn it into a humungous monument of positivity. Usually the more positive things you see in life make you feel great about yourself. So to sum it up, next time someone opens a door for you, you should start thinking wow this person actually took his/her time to achieve something for me. Because you never know the next guy that opens a door for you might be actually opening the door to your next relationship. Thank you for taking your time to read my collection of ideas.

 

I must be extremely fortunate, because my hubby does all of that for me. He gets upset if I don't let him do it either. (I'm very stubborn and like to play the role of a martyr)

 

see this is the thing, my male aquatinces, male friends and male coworkers are very chivalrous so it would just be odd if my so wasn't as good to me as people i barely know.

 

What the hell... I thought chivalry was that code of honour knights followed in the middle ages...?


Well don't I feel stupid now.

 

Simply because women are, by and large. totally illogical. As one postee has already pointed out, very few women will be grateful if a man was to be chivalrous. Women SAY they want men to be chivalrous, but will often hold a man who DOES so in contempt. They will view it as a weakness, a flaw; even when they clearly state -as the original postee does - they want men to be chivalrous!


Girls, if you didn't like assholes so much, more guys would be chivalrous to you. Simple and ..... ' logical'; do TRY and understand this word, ladies, and you will understand men so much the better.

Why should some nice, wussy doormat open the door for you, when you all KNOW you go weak at the knees for Mr Bastard who will let it swing shut in your face? Hmmmm?

 

First off, there is no reason to make assumptions and generalizations about anyone, because you don't know all women personally. That's just an arrogant, ignorant statement.

Second, I don't see what the fuss is over men and them not being respectful and chivalrous. Most of the men I know are incredibly polite and put women's needs over thier own. I don't hang out with guys who are jerks.

 

chivalry doesn't turn you into a doormat. Not having an opinion or being able to make a decision on your own does.

 

ya know. you call us call us iraational and contradictory but look at you guys. i need a sane stable relationship-someone who is consistent in their feelings and actions and can hold the door open without making it obvious it's a huge inconvience. being the one expected to things that they themselves cant do gets old pretty damn fast.

 

I think there is more than one issue at stake here; I think the two issues we're dealing with are, one: many of the women posting in this thread would prefer men to treat them with respect, and two: many women here expect to be spoken to in a chivalrous manner, with men opening doors and laying their coats out to be stepped on, etc. But I see these as two very separate things that are very easy to confuse. Respect for a woman, or for anyone, should involve a lot more than these little itemized occurences that people (myself included) tend to deem 'chivalrous.' I could meet the requirements of a chivalrous, gallant dude by opening the door for her three times on wednesday, four times on thursday, and I could lay my coat down for her to walk on twice a week.

But I think this practice is something many guys do too often rather than too seldom, saying "hmm...how much can I inconvenience myself to show how romantic I am? How important of an appointment can I cancel to show her how much I love her?" I think these are examples of chivalry, and some people like to do them and some don't. I don't know how many girls appreciate them and to what degree, but I see true respect as something completely different. True respect involves an understanding, something mutual between two people. It transcends the programmed behavior of saying "Girl exits car. Male closes door. Male races in front of girl to open restaurant door. Happiness ensues." I mean...love shouldn't be like that, right?

I think in a respectful situation, as opposed to a chivalrous one, each person would try to feel out what the other really wants, and just enjoy their time together. If two people are right for each other, I think one of the first things they'll do is not care if they have to open the door for themselves. There are much more important things to be concerned about in love - I mean, my girlfriend burps a lot and doesn't bathe often. She's not chivalrous and I would hate it if she were. But she's respectful.

What can happen too often with guys that are chivalrous...they can learn very well how to fool girls into thinking that Chivalry = Goodness. I think respectful actions will come from being a good person, but I'm basically trying to say that chivalry can be mechanical and used to manipulate a woman. That's why I roll my eyes a bit when a guy pretends to be a knight.

 

I bookmarked this for the next time I can't sleep.

Seems to me many Posters have a long ways to go before they are truly 'Grownup'.
I sincerely Hope they aren't raising kiddos.

Am I really supposed to believe a Gentleman/Man/any other male does not open doors for a Lady/any other female?
Amazing head compensates for being a total slob/spoiled brat?
Telling Folks to FO when they ask for help?


Talk about......nvm......BP's too freakin high.

 

I'm one of those people who doesn't like it when a man holds the door for me to be 'chivalreous'. I believe in equal courtesy to men & women; whoever happens to reach the door first opens it & holds it, or whoever has his/her hands free opens it & holds it for the person carrying stuff... If either one has loads of bags to carry, it's nice if the other person offers a hand. Bad language never offends me, however any man not using it not out of general courtesy but because I am a woman DOES. Far more than the worst steam of curse words ever could.
Chivalry is a left-over from a time women were considered too weak to stand up for themselves, too weak to carry their own stuff. General courtesy is definitely nice (no, I wouldn't fall for the asshole who lets the door slam shut when I happen to be right behind him & have my hands ful). But chivalry as in the man doing this kinda stuff for the woman because he is the man? No thanks!

 

im very respectful and courteous, i'd like to say that i AM a chivalrous guy, im 16 btw, i always let ladies go first etc., open doors for them, let them have my seat etc. it makes me feel good knowing that i make them feel good

 

Yeah, that's pretty much what I was trying to say. Maybe I didn't make it clear about slamming doors in people's faces - I agree, it's not like I go out of my way to do that, either. You put that really well about bad language not offending you. I try to go for the same thing, hoping that people generally have similar views. I mean, an excess of chivalry could just convey a message like, "Ok, here I am dealing with an oversensitive woman, and I'm gonna make myself out to be a god because she's a woman and she probably expects it."

I mean, it's a double-edged sword too, there's never any reason to be rude for its own sake. I love it when people are nice just because they naturally are, not because they force it. Maybe I didn't make that clear before. But hey, rock on.