More bi male bottoms than tops?

Of course there's more bisexual bottom guys (especially those who is who are married to women) than bisexual tops. We all seem to want the same thing, cock in our mouths and asses.

I honestly think it would be easier for us bisexual bottoms to actually seek out GAY tops to meet our needs/desires, though that can be a slippery slope in itself. Sue, there's plenty of GAY tops out there, but a lot of gay men are either ignorant, or just don't understand us bi guys. I've had more than one gay guy try to convince me that just because I'm a total bottom and sexually submissive with men that I "must be gay", or that it's "impossible" for me to love and have sex with women (my wife) if I enjoy sex with men so much.
Unfair and unjust "criticism" (more like not understanding) from within the gay community, which was honestly disheartening... But in reality, I still think my same-sex desires would be much more aligned and in tune with a gay total top man than with another bisexual guy

 

Dave, I'm trying to figure out exactly what the difference is between a gay top and a bi one because I've been with both and there's not much of a difference that I can recall. I can admit to seriously being old school in that I grew up having more experiences with gay bottoms than tops - and there weren't that many bi bottoms but plenty of bi tops so totally submissive bi bottoms are kinda "new" to me but I kinda digress a little. A top is a top... isn't he? Again, not sure what his orientation has to do with this when all he has to be is willing to shove his cock in your ass and fuck you until he cums - and there are a lot of guys who are fine with this (and as long as you don't ask to do the same to them).

Help me out with this one. I came to expect that any time I had sex with a gay man, he was going to try to bring me over to the gay side. Or those gay men who, as you say, don't or can't understand us bi guys or they're resentful of us because they want us to be like them... and we aren't. Not sure what this has to do with specifically seeking out gay tops when, um, there are still gay men who don't like us all that much. Could this be your preference for a top? Which makes me ask what you look for in a lover, you know, since I can be very nosy.

 

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Gay guys, in my own experience, have leaned more toward romantic intent although some just wanted to have sex; bi guys just wanted to have sex and, usually, when they couldn't get any pussy and even then, the majority of them wanted to get their dick sucked, maybe do some sucking; many didn't mind coming back for more of the same as long as things didn't start to look like a relationship! I think I have only slept with maybe one or two gay tops (that I can recall); the rest of the gay men I've slept with have been bottoms; most of the other guys were tops and bottoms weren't exactly rare but it was a little unusual for me to run into a bi guy who was a bottom - and as opposed to a bi guy who would bottom.

Things change. I laugh at times because I can remember when women demanded that us guys get in touch with our feminine side, but they didn't envision us not only taking it literally but then to "extremes" and diving fully into the female role in sex. I know that they meant that we shouldn't be so emotionally closed off but, yeah, if they could see how lustfully emotional some bottoms can be!

 

I haven’t found this to be the case. I think there are a lot of women around that don’t want anal.

 

From everything I've read, anal is pretty tough to just jump right into. It takes a little practice. I use a prostate massager. It's taken me 5-6 sessions before it didn't hurt, but now that I'm getting used to it anal is an even bigger turn-on. When it's time for my first real anal, I want to be ready.

As I first really started to explore my bisexuality I hooked up with one guy on AdultFriendFinder and he was too big. There was no way that thing was going in, so I gave him oral and let him come in my mouth. He seemed to accept that in lieu of fucking me, lol.

 

Practice practice practice! I know for me, I am now able to take at least 9". This only after practicing taking it and relaxing. My hope is that once I'm ready to take the real thing, I should be able to take it.

 

Just remember that there's a real guy attached to the real dick and him getting in might not be as easy as putting a toy in there...

 

Exactly, with a dildo you are 100% in control of the depth, angle and frequency of the thrusts. You lose a lot of that control having anal sex. As long as you communicate with your partner though this can be regained to a point.

 

Quite right; just because you communicate to your partner in this it doesn't mean that he's going to "listen" and more so when it starts getting good to him and "taking it easy" is about to go out the window and now your hole is getting ravaged in a way that you wouldn't do with a dildo so, yeah, be aware of this.

 

I've never discussed this with anyone so this will be fun, but for me I always present myself for their backside (wife or whoever), placing my penis there, letting them know it's available, letting them decide how much to take, how to take. Yes I press into them but never forced. I let their backsides respond and they do most of the work no matter who it is. In essence, they fuck my cock with their ass not the other way around. I do pump, or slip in and out shallow again letting them back onto me as soft or hard as they wish. I've had people fuck me so hard with their backsides one would think I was doing it all. Never once had a problem, ever! Now when someone gets to that point they often are screaming, "Yes, YES, FUCK MY ASS, FUCK IT!" Still I am very restrained as I increase my action. Hands grabbing at their hips and pulling apart on their butt gets more aggressive but the ramming, jamming is all under their control. Depth in penetration I feel needs to be under their control. It's about their pleasure when it comes to anal and when that happens, we both have amazing sex. Yes I have taken ass before but always after all the above has been done several times in a row. As far as I know, everyone should be able to tell when an anus is flowered and prepared for a really good hard core ass fucking. In the reverse, getting fucked by my wife's dildos, or a man's cock in my ass it is the same. I am on control, I do the fucking until I have fucked the dick well myself, then maybe it does the fucking yet still the receiver stays (I stay) in control.

 

I think bottoms are just more likely to be out of the closet just a gut feeling so take it with a grain of salt

 

Growing up and diving into the sex thing we were told to stay away from, some guys wondered what it was like to be screwed (and like we were doing to girls... mostly) and some guys tried it and either liked it or hated it (because it hurt). Our resident gay guy was 100% a bottom (in today's terms) and of the approximately twenty of us, only maybe two or three guys - other than our gay guy - only wanted to be screwed and wasn't interested in doing any screwing.

Guys who only wanted to fuck another guy were having fits because, according to them, there weren't any guys who wanted to be screwed - and the guys who did seemed to be staying away from what we know are tops and, no, I don't pretend to understand this "phase" of things that I saw and experienced and it could have been something local to my environment but I'd talk to some guys who were dying to fuck a guy in the ass and me, being versatile, I could accommodate them or not and depending if they could get past my scrutiny (some did, many did not). It was my thought that a lot of guys were being total assholes about wanting to fuck other guys and these guys were, very likely, responsible for the outbreak of the clap that was going around at this time and I was sure that. Then the whole top/bottom thing seemed to blow up: Tops were looking for specific bottoms and bottoms were being strictly picky about the tops they wanted stretching their hole out and I'd say that "all was well" at this point in time until...

...one day I'm talking to my protege, and he asks me where the hell did all of these bottoms come from while almost at the same time, on forums and out on the street, bottoms were asking why all of the tops disappeared. In my hunts for dick to suck, I had been running into a lot of bottoms looking to suck cock/be fucked but not of a mind to return any favors which, locally, made the picking very slim - but I was used to seeing a lack of guys who were genuine about wanting to do something; there were tops a-plenty who wanted to be sucked and eager to beat the shit out of my hole - but not of a mind to blow me which is a deal-breaker.

I've felt that these days, more men are of a mind to, well, be screwed and are understandably picky about who gets to do that while there are still tops out there who (a) have their own preferences and (b) don't meet a bottom's preferences and it seems they've canceled themselves out so that, now, there appears to be more bottoms than tops and, to tops, more bottoms than they know what to do with. My protege, who is a top, had me laughing but scratching my head because, well, if there are a gazillion bottoms out there, as a top, this is a target rich environment for guys like him so why is he complaining about there being so many bottoms? Well, the answer was that because he likes to be topped from time to time - and his "local bottoms" weren't of a mind to want to do that or, yeah, get their dick sucked - this was the reason why he was complaining: He couldn't find a guy who could be more versatile that total bottom and he lives somewhere where he can't walk down a street without tripping over a nice ass waiting to be fucked.

It's curious, isn't it? Way back in the day, a guy would wonder what it was like to be fucked; he could ask a girl and either she wasn't going to answer him, didn't know the answer, or just couldn't explain it beyond "it feels good" so it would occur to them that if they really wanted to know, there were guys who'd gladly fuck them and, again, they either found it to their liking or they didn't but in those days, I'd say that there were more guys who were versatile than anything else and was reason for me to not notice any disparity between tops and bottoms.

 

With my most recent experiences, more men like to suck because it lasts longer. Every top I have bottomed for is finished in a matter of seconds.

 

It can last longer but I've felt that a lot of guys suck cock because it's the easiest thing to do versus fucking - and a nice, tight asshole has been known to make guys bust quickly.

 

I am or have always been straight but a cross dresser.

More and more I only watch gay porn. I love cocks. Especially cut ones. They are gorgeous. Anyway, depsite never being with a man, I crave to be taken, and am definitely a bottom.

 

My interest in experiencing cock is pretty much exclusively in a bottom role. Not really sure why. I've fucked my wife's ass a handful of times and it was amazing. But when it comes to experimenting with a man, I'm just not as turned on my the thought of topping as I am by bottoming. Guess you could call me quite submissive in that way. Id love to try a MMF threesome with another fella and my wife, and in particular I'd like to try being in the middle in a train and being the bottom in a fucklicking situation.

So yeah, my bisexual side is very bottom

 

I prefer receiving anal. The feeling is something that my wife just can't give me. The closest she can come is to use a dildo on me. I have fucked a guy but it didn't feel that much different than fucking my wife. With oral I am versatile. While my wife does a good job of it, my boyfriend is a lot better. And once again me sucking a cock is something that my wife can't provide.

 

At least you have a man friend. Lucky you!

 

Does wife approve, or even know?