mixed race dating...

Where I am from, a northern state, mixed race couples are still pretty rare. In my experience, a mixed race couple where I am from is more likely to be "accepted" if the male is white.

How very black and white of you. No room for grey in your world, huh? You know better? Careful. When it comes to culture and the morals that accompany it, everything is subjective. There is no truth. If you lived your entire life a culture where family and its hierarchy is paramount, how easy do you think it would be to break from that mold regardless of your level of education or intelligence? Just because it isn't the world you grew up doesn't make it any less valid or real.

Your education and intelligence is utterly irrelevant to the conversation. Trust me, there are people out there who are lot smarter than you, and a lot more educated, who would disagree with your assessment of their culture.

It can be. Some cultures don't adapt well to change.

 

Yes it does. That is how culture works.

 

And why do you think that is?

Look… if your “culture”, family, or whatever else has taught you to hate a certain color people, and you choose to continue doing so as an adult, when you should be CLEARLY able to understand that we are all of the same race (the human race), then there is NO EXCUSE for you to continue with the hate. I don’t give a shit what you try to tell me to try and justify people’s racism. There’s simply no excuse for it. You wouldn’t dare sit up here and try and justify people murdering others as understandable and acceptable because of the culture they were raised in.

And I’m not saying it’s easy to break from parental/family influence, but too many people do what other people want them to do and not what THEY really want to do. Life’s too short to let other people live it for you.

 

You and I clearly have a different view of how culture should be defined. So we'll just have to agree to disagree on that matter. :cheers2:

 

I am a white guy who dates black women. I am dating a black girl right now. I like my chocolate.

 

This statement actually just hit me. I saw it before but with so much going on I must not have processed it. The notion that a church (full of people who proclaim themselves to be acting in the name of God) would not welcome someone in because of the color of their skin, or because they are an interracial couple, is absolutely abominable. It disgust me.

If that really is true, I’d like to know the name and location of that church so I can expose them like they deserve to be. I will fly out there and bring my production team with me.

 

When you say 'black' what do you mean?

 

The middle one.

 

Ok. More mid brown.

 

Milk chocolate

 

I'll go with that...

 

At this point in time, maybe not so much inferior as just different.

When you are a member of a group that has gone through something as traumatic and intense as the US Civil Rights Movement, you're likely to feel a sense of loyalty to that group. Sometimes there's a thin line between loyalty and racism, even though loyalty is a good thing and racism is a bad thing. It's complicated. I think a lot of black girls are motivated by a sense of loyalty to their ethnic group, and intense pride in being a member of it.

Don't overlook the importance of money in all this. If you can afford to move out on your own at an early age, you can exercise a great deal of personal freedom. If you grow up in a ghetto where it's common for three or four generations to live under the same roof, out of economic necessity, then you have to care what those people think.

In my lifetime, I have never driven past a black church in any city and spotted a white person going in or out. If I dared to visit one, I doubt if I would be asked to leave. It would just feel strange to be there. People would look at me and think, "Why is she here?" Then I would think, "Why am I here?"

One time, I went with a guy to an all-black jazz club, because I love jazz. We were the only two white people in the place. Everybody was friendly to us, maybe a little too friendly. The owner came over and thanked us for coming, and our waitress treated us like royalty. Personally, I would have liked it better if we had just been treated the same as everybody else. Even though we had no problems that night, I wasn't in a rush to go back because it just felt strange.

This is the kind of thing that keeps unofficial segregation going.

In a more mainstream music club here, even though the city's population (200,000+) is more than 30% black, I typically see about 2% black patrons.

 

Or perhaps they would welcome you just the same as you were welcomed in the black jazz club. I’ve seen black churches embrace white members as part of the family, just like all the other black members of the church. Could it be that your mindset is what helps to support such ethnic separation? If the majority of whites in your area think like you, that you would not be accepted here or there, but never actually walk in because of the fear of that non-acceptance, where do you think that gets everyone?

Why not get a few members of your church and go and meet the pastor of a nearby black church, and propose a friendly exchange? A few of your members visit their church for a day, and then a few of theirs visit yours. Break down this barrier of fear and misconception that seems to be so prevalent. I’ll bet you’d be surprised at how accepted you were.

I would say the kind of thing that keeps unofficial segregation going just as much is people like yourself (not an attack on you by any means… You know your my buddy KJ :2thumbsup:, just proving a point here from your example) who don’t wish to return to a place where the people tried their best to make you feel welcome and special in their establishment. They probably were glad to have non-black customers and would welcome such patrons, but instead their kindness made you uncomfortable and thus you elected to continue indirectly supporting such unofficial segregation by not returning.

When I travel to areas that don’t get many tourists, and they learn I’m American, I usually get the same special treatment. People want to buy me drinks, etc. I may be encountering people who’ve never had the opportunity to meet and talk with an American (much less any foreigner). It’s the same when you go to a black jazz club. You shouldn’t take offense to them giving you extra attention. They only mean well. They want to treat you well because they want you to return. For all you know you may have been the 1st white couple they had show up there. You could always say, “Hey, relax. I come to black clubs all the time but you’re making me feel a bit weird here.”

My whole point is, if nobody makes an effort nothing changes. If everyone just always "assumes" that they won't be accepted by these people, it only helps perpetuate myths and pushes people farther apart.

 

I'm a white male who would date a black woman, but I don't see too many of them around here.

 

Not me, I don't go to church anywhere.

That is a slight possibility.

That's one reason why I went to the club and tried it out. I may go back again, if somebody really good is playing there. If one of my friends wanted to go, I would definitely go with them.

In the future, I see a similar situation developing with the Hispanic community, our fastest growing ethnic group. It's going to be even harder to break down those walls. I'm never going to a club where everybody speaks Spanish and plays music with Spanish lyrics. I don't speak Spanish. You're also not going to find many Southern Protestants who are interested in going to Mass.

Maybe relations between black and white will improve faster when we realize how much more we have in common with each other than with Latin American culture.

 

I walked in the break room at work once and both white and black people were talking shit about Mexicans. I very cynically had this same thought.

 

I just brock down with my black girlfriend I have been living with for over a year, it was the worst relationship I ever had, not because of her black skin, but because of her spoiled mind, never mind even so I met a lot of black ladies after that, and actually I am dating a black amazing girl... the things getting serious this time and I'm not playing, but even if all the black ladies are going to hurt me, like the one before did, I still will always search for that black skin, that makes me crazy... black girls I just love you all....

 

That's good :2thumbsup:

We need a lot more people like you in the world KJ. Now if only you could find some black girls in your town and introduce them to some white guys

 

Ever been to Hong Kong, Singapore or Tokyo ?

You see a lot of mixed Asian- western couples there.

 

I have no idea. Though, I suspect a certain level of sexism has to do with it.

Why are you jumping to hate? You are making an extreme leap in "logic" there. Just because someone cannot see themselves dating outside their race (BTW, there is no human race. There is a human species, but no race) doesn't mean they hate those outside their race. For example, I cannot see myself dating a black woman. Why? Because I don't find them attractive. Does that mean I hate black women or people as a whole? Of course not. Does it make me a racist? Of course not.