Migraine Headache Help Wanted

As another migraine sufferer, I want to begin by saying that I think it's important for us to take our treatment(s) into our own hands and I think that's what you and your wife are doing on this thread - of course we can also make mistakes, take medications that end up harming us more than they help us, etc, but in my experience with migraines, doctors do that too...A LOT. In another context, the idea that a professional health care provider is the best person to turn to when a health condition needs to be addressed might make sense...but in addition to my own experiences with chronic migraines, I've done a lot of reading (because I get desperate for relief and I'll read anything I can find if I think it might offer a little insight!) and what it comes down to is that every migraineur is different. If you can find a doctor who genuinely believes that and is willing to treat his patients accordingly, that's a great thing. However, many doctors, including those trained in western medicine AND those trained in other healing modalities (acupuncture, naturopathic medicine, etc) often tend to have a "theory of everything." Have others had this experience? One doctor says it's all about magnesium deficiencies, another says it's all about the way stress manifests in the body and the solution is meditation and biofeedback, another says it's about digestion and food allergies, another says to go on anti-depressants or mood stabilizers or calcium blockers...the list goes on and on...and the thing is, some of these things help some people. The idea of going from one doctor to the next in pursuit of a "solution" that will at least let you begin to return to your life is..well...for me, it's been pretty overwhelming and exhausting. The pain itself is exhausting as well, so the idea of doing my own research and experimentation often feels like the best option...I think that we DO have some intuition when it comes to our bodies...for example, I asked my doctor for a hormone test about a year ago and he said that because I'm under 30, we shouldn't bother with that until we'd exhausted all the other possibilities. I tried to insist, but he finally convinced me that my theory was wrong. The migraines got worse and worse and finally, 9 months later, he agreed to test my hormone levels...and it turns out they were all over the place in all kinds of unhealthy ways. Treatment is still complicated and hormones are definitely not the ONLY cause or trigger for my migraines, but the point of this story is that the professional was basing his response on the information he knew and that information wasn't incorrect...it just didn't really apply to me. If nothing else, I think that as migraine patients, we need to learn to push doctors out of their comfort zones and insist that they look at us as unique individuals with unique conditions that must be treated accordingly. We have to insist that we're not just "drug seekers" (because even if we do enjoy recreational drugs, that's in an entirely different category than the drugs we want because we want pain relief, we want a migraine to end, we want to feel like we have our minds back, and we want to function...you know?) and we have to demand respect. I realize this sounds like a pep talk or an after-school special or something, and I feel a little silly posting it...and I also want to make sure that it's clear that this isn't an "attack" of any kind on the person who advocated (above) turning to a medical professional for help - acupuncture HAS been helpful to me, sometimes, although acupressure has sometimes made my migraines worse (that's how odd and evasive and nonsensical these headache creatures are...) -- I might even get the book that person recommended. I also don't mean this as an attack against the person who responded first with all the questions about foods, smoking, etc...it's very possible that some people who hear this really haven't heard it before and if that's the case, it's important to hear! However, I cannot count the number of times I've been asked the same questions, again and again, by people who don't know me and thus, of course, have no idea what I have and haven't done so far to treat my migraines, to identify triggers, etc. Earlier today I was at an herb store (the legal kind) and I was asked by the very kind woman at the cash register if I'd tried a food elimination diet. She was being sweet and trying to be helpful. But to those of you who DON'T get migraines - I think that for the most part, I want to offer an almost-universal (and I don't even believe in universals!) answer to the "have you tried x..." question -- Yes. Or we will soon and we haven't because we're currently trying something else. Or maybe we have tried it and we'll try it again. But the thing is, migraines don't really give you the option of just ignoring the problem, so if someone suffers from migraines, they ARE doing what they can...who wouldn't? Migraines make it nearly impossible to function, they sort of invade, assault, and occupy our minds (anyone else feel this way? I've spoken to some people who do, but again, each migraine patient is unique) and, well, they're terrible. I just spent almost an entire year trying potential migraine cures that others recommended, even when I was certain those cures wouldn't help...and for the most part, they didn't...and at some point, I realized that I wasn't even following these people's advice because I thought they might be right - I was doing it because I've also found that sometimes, if I don't follow through with a person's personal theory/idea/favorite treatment, that person then feels that I'm not doing all I can to address the migraines and then proceeds to blame me for the ways in which the migraines affect my life. I'm not saying anyone here is doing this...just venting about my own experiences with other people, in other places, at other times. And I'm also encouraging people who don't have migraines to respond to those who do with a question before offering answers - a REAL question, not just about what they have and haven't tried but about THEIR thoughts and theories on their migraines. And just one more piece of advice for other people who DO have migraines (and then I'll stop with the after-school-special-pep-talk, I promise) ...respect yourself enough to explore your own theories when it comes to your migraines. If you can find a group to do that with, even better. But seriously, even the weird, crazy, almost-unbelievable ideas that you have MIGHT be informative or insightful if you allow yourself to delve into them a little (without expecting immediate results)....I'm still working on this thing myself, so I definitely don't have any answers...but what I have learned is that if I continue to put my faith in one doctor after another, only to find that their methods fail, I'll have my hopes and dreams crushed too many times to bear. And I've learned that people WILL blame me for my migraines and if I can't cure them or manage them, I'll be blamed for that too...so I just try to tell myself, again and again, that it really isn't my fault...and that when other people - often people I'm close to- seem to be blaming me for the ways in which my migraines disrupt my life AND theirs, it's not their fault either...we're encouraged to think about dis/ability in a particular way, a way that is individualized, privatized, and, in my opinion, goes hand in hand with capitalism. This seems like a topic for another post, because I know this has gotten really long, so I won't elaborate on it now, just put it out there for folks to think about if anyone's interested...and I will also say thank you for reading! I know this seemed like I was giving advice, but I think I was mostly just giving a pep talk to myself...if you benefited too, even in a tiny little way, then I am very glad.

 

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