Masturbation is just wrong. It is sad and pathetic.

lol! how did I not see this thread before

bird, you have been redeemed in my eyes

Have none of you ever read another thread by birdy? jeeez

 

My Satan, this thread was still going?!?!

 

god! i've missed bird....i use his picture for strictly spiritual communion & stuff.

 

i think he's being sarcastic

 

Does anyone ever wonder whether it would gte boring coming here just for the purpose of pretending to be a hard line bible basher?

 

no! he's totally serious.

 

i think this was a truly awesome thread.

 

i still wanna know if it's a sin for ppl to enjoy the smell of their own farts

 

yes!! how do ya think they keep the hellfires burnin?

 

totally, but the guys been doing it for weeks. I just wonder if I could i could keep it up if i was him, i'd get bored. Don't think its not making me laugh though!

 

perhaps you yourself spend too much time here?

 

I agree, since the bible is not against it. THe common reference cited as the biblical condemnation is the story of Onan.
But he wasn't masturbating. He was asked by his dad to impregnate his dead brothers wife to keep his brothers line going. He did most of the necessary actions, but then just before he came, he pulled out.
It says to not spill your seed on the ground, which is as close as it gets to banning masturbation.
It is sex with someone you love.
For men, it is the ultimate rejection to be masturbating and having your hand fall asleep.
I don't know what abstaining from it might result in as far as benefits go, but I do know that whatever they may be, I am not a possible recipient of any.

 

9. Which sexual acts are so egregious that they warrant death?

Correct Answer: B. (Any sexual thoughts about someone to whom one is not married) "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already is his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28). "And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death" (Leviticus 20:10).

. Which of the following statements which reflects God's requirement for all women?

Correct answer: D. (All of the above) "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husband" (Colossians 3:18-19; see 1 Peter 3:1; Ephesians 5:22). "And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do. If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed" (Exodus 21:7-8). "And whosoever lieth carnally with a woman, that is a bondmaid, betrothed to a husband, and not at all redeemed, nor freedom given her; she shall be scourged: they shall not be put to death, because she was not free. And he shall bring his trespass offering unto the Lord, unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, even a ram for a trespass offering" (Leviticus 19:20-21).


6. What are God's policies regarding the treatment of women captured in war?

Correct answer: D. (All of the above) "When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive, and seeth among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; and she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and remain in thine house . . . And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her" (Deuteronomy 21:10-14). "But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: but shalt utterly destroy them" (Deuteronomy 20:16-17).

well i leraned something new today, christians and Jews are A-OK with slavery of women. o my. can't wait to see what my catholic mother has to say about this. lol fucking christians are prejudice ass-holes

 

i thought that was a bad thing because he spilled the seed on the ground instead of "givin'" it to his sister in law....

 

ok, after reading loads of threats this became rather fuuny. But yes bird i really did belive you for the first few threads, till weebe (sp) got all on fire hahaha. I gues ssome pppl think like that *shrug* dunno, as long as they don't get in my buisness let them do what they want.

 

dude Im catholic n I have been jackin it for like, 10 years str8 lmfao , and not once has god come down here and told me I was doing something wrong, nor has he showed me any signs of him actually bein pissed, nor has he showed any great big signs showing he exists. So quitin writin garbage you old bastard.

 

So you've been jackin since you were 6? Impressive man. You'll understand what bird migration is saying when your penis falls off and starts cursing in hebrew.

 

This thread is so silly.

I was gonna provoke Bird Migration with some "well what about us bisexual masturbators?" but then I realized that this was one big joke.

 

no it's not. i will never masturbate again thanks to bird...

 

It's like biblical Stepford Wives, except without the republicans and the technology.