Married people! Do you get discriminated against?

HELL YES Mandy. (about being discriminated on for having dreads and kiddos). Some of it though I think has to do with age too. Last year when my oldest started his school, I got ignored by all the mom's with the "mom hair" look, etc. I would see the same ladies five days a week and they wouldn't even look up to say "hi" even though I would continue to even after being ignored. Most of the parents seemed much older than me (And I do'nt consider myself necessarily a young mom) adn I thught it may be that, but who knows?? After I got the dreads it got worse.

I find it especially hard since I have a special needs child... I get SUPER judged. SUPER SUPER SUPER. It's almost as if.. "Ah, I see why your child has issues now".... It is so fucking hurtful!!!!! Luckily, I work closely with the teachers/aids that are close to him and they seem to see i"m caring and tis only a hairstyle.

But at the same time... I get a lot of random kindness at tiems too. For instance, at airports, etc. Ppl seem to be very helpful to me. The other thing that I find worth noting is that visible minorities seem to be drawn to me. I dont feel quite right writing this, but it really has been something i have noticed. I won't even try to psycho analyze it here, but it is something I have had a few experiences with.

 

Not that I am a parent but here is my two cents:

In my opinion, people who don't fit "the norm" have happier marriages. People who keep up with the Jones', always buying the latest stuff are in unhappy marriages. I suspect that there is an element of Jealously towards Mandy and Jodie, because they have stayed true to themselves and are free spirits unlike the other mums. These mothers are always bitter about what life has handed to them so gang up on other people who aren't shackled to consumerism.

 

I'm neither married nor have kids,
but I must say my pals and their families can be pretty rude to me and my family in that bitchy subtle passive aggressive sort of way.
I have a history of hanging with the straight A's crowd, the soccer players with the snobby soccer moms.
I can speak as a child whose mother gets discriminated against because of the looks of her children and the actions of us these people see.


I was at some school thing with my Ma and my brother, and recall a classmates family make a remark about my own, something to the extent of 'I hope my kids are never like that' with an undertone of nastiness and a death stare to my mother.(referring to my brother I suppose)

---and we are as normal as it gets.

I don't get it.

^I hope that made sense.

 

HDH-
this comment was on the article about mum's school clothes-

Is..is it serious?

 

Sister, it's irrelevant what anybody thinks of you and your King, because based on just what you pointed out about yourselves, you are leagues closer to Jah than your critics, including your Christian family ... who should perhaps consider wiping the dust off their Bibles and actually reading them sometime, maybe your King can educate them about Samson / Shamshoun and Samuel / Sh'muel, and later Jesus of Nazareth / Yehoshu`a and John The Baptist / Yo-hanan ...

PS. Are you also Rasta?

Jah Live!

 

Sadly it is. When I read that article, I was thinking if mothers are THAT shallow I wouldn't let my child be subjected to that kind of person. And frankly, if any mother sniggered at me at a school gate, I'd invite her for coffee with my left fist.

 

That statement that sarah copied disgusts me. I have started this sentence about ten times so I'm just going to leave it at this.... It makes me sad on many levels.

 

Me too. So what if you wear PJ's to collect/drop off kids. That newspaper gives me such lols. My favourite source for news. I'm going to go find some lolsy stuff on marriage

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/boo...MARRIAGE-BY-MAUREEN-WALLER.html#ixzz0VS6TCRQO

Can't find anything else thats lolsy.

Who likes their mothers in law?

Mine is a Jehovah's witness. We used to heavily dislike each other, She asked my husband to choose once. We get on now, but I can't be in the same room with her for long, she is either much much too faffy and she is STAUNCHLY religious and I feel really uncomfortable being around heavily religious people.

On our first valentines day, we were at her house we decided to have a cuddle on the bed [fully clothed I may add] she came into husbands room, bible in hand and said "I'd like to talk to you both about fornication. She rambled for what seemed like an hour about how basically we shouldn't do it because she wants us to go to the paradise with her so we can have a lake and lambs in our garden.

Another time we were watching kill bill II you know the scene where she's buried alive and she tries to get out. She practically kicked the door down because she thought we were having sex. She was shocked and highly embarrassed when she saw me sat on the bed and my husband sat on the chair at the opposite side of the room.

 

My little woman and I have been together for 4.5 years (our anniversary is April 1st... we are April fools :hurray and I get the most marital pressure(not that it's much, mostly joking and little things about "when we have kids") form her... It's weird because I tell her that I'm certainly not financially or even personally sound enough to take care of another human being (plants, fish, and a cat are hard enough, dayum), but additionally I have never really cared much for getting married and we have a nontraditional relationship anyways, so I don't really see why we would want to have some kind of christian ceremony to confirm out love for each other.

Similar to Zilla, we are not exclusive and I think that has a lot to do with it. I couldn't really see us being married and being sexually open. I view marriage as an old-fashioned institution and I view it in an old-fashioned way. I'm not some kinda cultural crusader trying to revolutionize marriage, I'm just being me.

I also live in a city where there are a ton of people who want to get married, but are not allowed to do so because they're gay, with the exception of two short windows of time that have both been slammed shut, something as exclusionary as that is something that I don't particularly want to be a part of.

All in all, I still have a lot of thinking to do on the subject before I figure out how my partner and I are going to end up, but I do love being partners . I know her mom would love to see her married, but I think she knows we aren't ready yet and she doesn't really say anything. My parents don't say a dang thing about it and I know I would probably have their support if we never got married. They wouldn't hate on any "bastard" grandchildren they might accumulate, but I would imagine they would have some odd feelings about it. I've been blessed with a father who can be a little annoying at times, but all in all two very supportive and accepting parental units.

(hellodreadhead, I know what you're thinking... 'see you think your young!' and I am relatively young, but also relatively old )

 

Yours sounds... frustrating.

I love my little woman's mom... I've had a lot of experience with food pushers (my grandma is notorious for greeting family with the phrase "want a sandwich?") but I always give in to her mom. Filipino food is so good (with the occasional exception, but she knows what the white boys like to eat... she's been married to two of um)

Her dad is a little different... he's not a very happy person (probably why they divorced), but at least he's nice enough to me. He kinda drives my little woman crazy, which I don't like, but for the most part she can deal with it and not let him get away with calling her up just to complain about his life... or on Friday night at 9 o'clock.

 

BUT YOU ARE YOUNG!!

Aw, I like your nickname "little woman".

 

im married to a great woman, who puts up with more shit from me than anybody on this planet deserves{ and she is a nurse @ johns hopkins, so she puts up with some shit} march will be our 15th - 10 anniversary,s 15 living together 10 married. also i am pretty conservitive minded. that being said, do i believe in state sponcered gay marriage? no, but i also dont believe in state sponcered hetero marriage. why does the government have any bussiness in my marriage? i never understood this. but it is all about money, marriage liscenses etc.. if there was no government controll over marriage, any adult humans could be married regardless of sexual oriantation. i really dont care what steve and bob do in their own house as much as i dont care what mary and jeff do, alot of conservative christians are so crazy about the whole gay and lesbian marriage it is sickening. gives real conservatives like me a bad name. now the gay people get all pissed off when people voted against gay marraige and were yelling and screaming at churches, how about band together against the gov. and demand a stop to marriage laws? guess that would be weird having gays lesbians and christians all fighting for the same thing, but it would be possible if everyone would stop hating on each other, i believe in marriage,
but get married for the right reason, what is in your heart, i do not believe in divorce, { there are exceptions of course}but people shoud really know the person they are gonna marry.marriage is tuff , wonderfull, excrusiating, boring, exciting, maddening and beautifull all at once, it can be painfull and loving , it is what you make it. my wife is a saint , let me tell you, she is my soulmate and my best friend, i am very hard to get along with, and have a very bad case of intense rage syndrome{ thats what the doc called it} i just call it getting angry lol, but i have never laid a hand on my wife, i guess what i am rambling about is, in my opinion, if peeps are gonna get married, straight or gay, it has to be real. not about money, social status, kids, god, mom or dad, its gotta come from the heart..love not lust.. ps.. i know i cant spell for shit, so laugh away

 

Beautifully said daaaaave

I think I'm just gonna ride the flow with my partner/bf/manfriend. I don't need to be thinking about it now, not for a few years at least anyway. If we feel it is right then cool, if not, thats fine He never really gives me an answer anyway when I try to talk about it xD He says "marriage is what you make it to be".. So yeh.. ^^

 

with your huge fucking signature, too.

bah!

 

Personally I wish my boyfriend would ask me to marry him, but I'll never push him if it's not what he wants.

 

HelloDH and Daisy...Those articles are sooo sad yet so true! I see moms like that on a daily basis. Last night at my daughters schools fall festival not one flippin person talked to me. I greeted everyone I recognized with a warm smile and didnt receive as much of a nod back in recognition. Oh well I guess. I just tell myself it's more their problem than mine. Im glad Im not a judgemental douche. lol.
Daisy...You are an amazing human being and mother. Prove all those judgemental bitches wrong by staying strong and kind! Your son is lucky to have such a REAL down to earth mommy who is resilient in the midst of ugliness and stays by his side regardless!
DonBk...Thanks for the kind words. I am not rasta. I am Buddhist. My partner sometimes gets on his high horse around people who do not understand or chose to not understand his faith. He see's no reason to try and explain what he believes to somebody who is already casting judgements upon him. Him and I differ in that respect. I think trying to educate somebody in a non condensending way about your beliefs and behaviors is necessary for world peace and tolerance.

 

I only read the first page HDH
Personally i think Marriage isnt about having children, marriage is supposed to be about love
If you felt marriage was right for you, then thats great. Bugger those who think its all about havin kids and stayin at home watching soaps for the next 40-50 years

 

I've been married for 27 years and my thought on the subject is that your marriage and what happens within it is between YOU and your spouse. Period. NO ONE else's business, unless you let it be.

As for in-laws, I adored and respected mine, deeply.