Marriage or not?

hopefully someday

 

I would like to get married in the far far future but for now a long term relationship that is a healthy (which mine is not) and honest one is good for me right now.

 

i've always wanted to get married and have a bunch of kids ever since i was a little girl and it hasn't really changed since than

 

this is hard..thing is is that I dont really care, but if my partner or family does really care than I may do it for them. Id rather just have a kick ass honeymoon!
I dont belive in god so the whole church marriage thing doesnt matter too me, but like I said if my partner wanted to get married the traditional way, or even on paper I would do it for them.

 

Mistress, for future reference..Some humanists do weddings, & even handfastings (wiccan/pagan)...
Also there's the unitarian universalists, they take anybody.

(pretty sure I already answered the poll, as a one time loser at it, I voted not)

 

Been married twice... Have found that it is simply a contract for the protection/division of debts/assets, for the most part. It doesn't make a relationship any better.

I hate the "no insurance for unmarried partners" rule that most companies go by. But, there are some that will pay for domestic partners, I worked for one.

 

There are some really bad insurance plans where a man has to prove the kids are his, in order to put them on his insurance. Kids born DURING a marraige are assumed to be his, but those born outside a marriage have to be proven, and the insurance doesn't pay for the paternity tests. Insurance companies are some of the EVILEST (is that a word) companies in the world.

My dh's company has "domestic Partner insurance" for both straight and gay couples. This is pretty new, though. When I got pregnant the first time, they didn't, which is one of the reasons we pushed up our wedding date, both the baby and myself needed insurance. But, even with this people try to get around it. A few of the guys my dh works with live with their mothers, and (I am not making this up) some of these guys have tried to use the "Domestic Partner" clause to put their moms on their insurance. When they were denied, they got all huffy about "all the gays get to." NO, the "gays" don't put their MOMS as their Domestic Partner.....dude.............

 

I'm currently engaged and can't wait to marry my hunny. Marriage to me, is simply a symbol of our committment to each other... it has no religious meaning to me, and the legality isn't important either. I simply feel like the day we get married, is the day that we both finalize our committment to each other if that makes any sense.

However, I don't want a traditional wedding ceremony with the whole hall reception afterwards. I'd much rather get married on a whim in a court house or cute chapel, and have our honey moon. If any reception would be held, it would be something fun and different like at an amusement park.

 

This wrong on a lot of levels.

If he plans to grow old with you, He should either pay for your doctor visits or marry you.

As for me. I was married for 19 years and widowed at age 36. I don't know if I could start over again. I've had an on again off again boyfriend for 7 years. He was my husbands friend. We tried living together twice. We get along better when we don't live together.

 

I am 23, not married, never had a boyfriend. And no, I'm not ugly and I'm not stupid!
I am, and have always been, much more interested in building a career for myself! I wouldn't like to be left on the roads, peniless and poor if my husband kicked me out.
I have not yet met a man I would like so much as to wish to get married with him.
I guess I'll remain a happy 'bachelorette' for some more years to come! And I enjoy my life!

 

I have a friend that I grew up with. She sounds a lot like you. She is 46 and a very beautiful dancer. She never found the right one. She has male friends that she goes out with sometimes, but no one ever swept her of her feet. (figuratively speaking, she's a dancer...). She also bought and restored a historical mansion, and turned it into an assisted living home. She also has a School fo Dance. If she had a man she might not have made the difference that she makes in people.

 

I'm very happily married. It wasn't something that I ever planned to do... I never got incredibly excited about getting married some day, honestly, I never really cared. And then I met my husband. We knew right from the start that it was right, that we would be the only ones for each-other. I still never dreamed of getting married, never thought about any sort of dream wedding or anything, but he always planned to get married and have a family some day. Like I said, we knew from the start that it was right, and if a wedding was what he wanted, he was going to get it. When he proposed, we had been together a bit less than two months, and got married less than a year after we first got together.

 

i honestly feel like i could marry a boy i already know but not right now. i just adore everything about him.
i would love to get married in the future however.

 

Good for you, please don't take this the wrong way because it is not meant to anyone else. I myself don't understand this concept at all though. I have never been in love until I have met my boyfriend now of over 5 years. But neither of us have been the type to believe that from the start either of us were "the one". We just don't get the concept. Relationships, in particular long term or marriages are hard work. I know because I was married when I was 18 (to someone whom I did not love). I mean I watch all of the tv programs where people say they just knew and they get engaged right away and they never show any of the problems these couples face. It used to make me feel insecure about my relationship, because I thought "why hasn't he proposed already, or why don't we have this" but the truth is that it is all either fake (on tv, not you deathrow) or some people just never go through the feelings of all the want to get married at no cost thing. I'm just saying both of us feel that our relationship is more important, and getting along and loving each other no matter if I spend too much at the grocery store or if I forget to take my hair out of the drain. We have the stupidest little tiffs about things, but I bet most anyone a million dollars that we have a more healthy relationship then many married or engaged couples. And quite frankly I'm sick of the pressure coming at us from all angles. All we each know is that we don't want to live with out having each other in our lives closely. We even broke up 4 years ago, to make sure and we couldn't stay apart for more than 4 months. We know we belong, but the whole marriage thing is just whatever to us. It will happen, we both know that, but the wedding to us isn't the main event, its is the whole relationship.

 

I could stay with one person for the rest of my life, but I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that I'm in love, beneath the eyes of god or whatever.

 

Married for nine years here. Never been one to ponder too much over marriage 'cause it's just a piece of paper but my hub was hospitalized once when we were just common-law and I had one bitch of a time getting into see him 'cause I wasn't his wife or direct family. A few months later we decided on to make things formal.

 

I'm not good at monogamy unless I am in love with someone. I don't see the point of attaching myself to someone if I'm not in love with them and just dating them for the hell of it. If I'm going to be with someone it's because I love them or I can see myself really spending a long time with them. I would much rather have a long-term relationship with no paperwork, but I'm not stupid - marriage is crucial in so many legal aspects of life. So I would get married if the right person came along.

 

At one point in my life I dated this guy who made me miserable. He was "the kind of guy every girl hoped to marry" anywho,I'd like to plead temorary insainity for thinking that, he wasn't too good of a guy and he made me not happy, I turned into a person I didn't know or like, he tried to trick me into getting married...but that is not my point. After that I was dead set against EVEN the idea of marriage. Totally against it, I have never really been one for dating kinda of a serial monogomist (if that is even a word.)


I think your want and view of marriage really depends on you..your experience, you past realtionships, your family, you personal belieifs, ect....

Personally my parents didn't get married until I was 17 years old, they have been together now for 21 years. I have 4 siblings, all older two from each parent and their previous marriage. Growing up had it's difficulties, trying to remember how to spell everyone's last name....as a little kid that was akward, how to adress my parents ex's who were all very active in our family, how to respond to my half siblings', half siblings....all in all I knew who my parents were, who my family was, and that they loved me...

Looking back none of the other stuff matters all that much.

Knowing all of that (and at the time being entirely against marriage) the very first night I met the love of my life, my boyfriend Bryan, I told him that one day we were going to get married.

Basically my point is, don't get married for the conveinances, or for anyone but yourself and the one you love. Insurance is great, legallity is conveinant, and society well they can kinda suck as a whole. At the end of the day you are making a pledge to be with that person, if you can't handle that w/ out some paperwork you deifinantly don't need to get married, and if you can more power to you. Just make sure you know what your getting into before you leap.

 

Oh yeah I am totally not for the open marriage/ relationship thing.....I have known those who have tried and it dosen't EVER work out too well....at least in my own second hand experience.

 

Yeah, that is the idea! No one is advocating getting married just to do it. And you are 19, which most people have not got to the place where they are ready (some have, though) It IS a commitment. That's the entire idea, that and the legality stuff, which is more than just "convenient."

Well, not if you aren't in love. But, if you are, they aren't "conveniences" but neccesities. Unless you have a job where you make more than your man, or you know there will be NO kids and NO property, if you are going to be in a long term relationship, marraige is just common sense. NOT if you aren't in love, but if you are ready to be together forever. Yeah, marraiges break up, that's life, but, in the long run, more people actually stay married than not. The "Divorce rate" which says that 50 per cent of marraiges end in divorce are off the mark. That is based on Fifty percent of the number of marriages that YEAR end in that NUMBER of marraiges divorcing. You have the entire POOL of all marraiges from the last 60 years or more in that pool, so it is LESS than a 50 per cent chance you will divorce. AND, if you do divorce, you will usually, with children, as a womyn, be in better shape if you were married, than if you just "broke up." For men, too. Marraige makes Visitation easier.