Love vs. sex

I have a booty call he was good loved fucking him..... and that is all it was a fuck. Same with the few that I have picked up at bars.

Then I've had relationships where the sex was to get them away from me so I could get some sleep. That was shit sex. But in saying that sometimes it was ok.... after all was with them for years-months type thing.

But my husband now..... the sex hasn't been better. And I can say that it has gotten better the longer we are together.

 

I am celibate, and plan on staying so until I am in a serious relationship.
I've had sex before, sex is great and all that, but to me it's more than just a physical thing, meaning I can't and don't want to sleep with random people I have no future with. I choose not to sleep around, to me it's not fun. I don't need to follow and act on my every urge.
Also, I think ''oversexualization'' (in everyday life and in media) has gone way too far.

 

Hmm. I'm a Scorpio and a red blooded male, so sex is important to me. Altho I wont bother with anyone unless I think "wow, look at that".

I've done nearly whole thing, lots of 1 night stands, open and monogamous relats, "fuckfriends", and the serious devoted relats, but not marriage. I've even dated "polyamorous" girls.

The idea of being with someone I don't/ no longer find attractive would horrify me. But the idea of sex with someone I don't have any "special feelings" for, seems entirely normal. Infact, sometimes sex with someone I hardly know has been a special experience, not because of appearances etc, but because I knew instinctively that they would be very compatible with me as girlfriend or more.

I think the word "love" has many definitions. For instance, I might love my closest friends. Infact sometimes I have very close female friends where sex with them is great, but we are not on a monogamous conveyor belt to marriage/ a "serious relat" or whatever.

With me, things are often pragmatic. Sure, sex with someone you love/ have massive feeelings for is by far the best. But sometimes, its not possible to settle down with the one that is perfect for me at any given time ( because giving someone my absolute focus is a huge commitment by me).
Maybe my work commitments are in the way. On numerous occasions the perfect one for me lives in a different city, region, even country.(I think my "ideal" is quite specifically defined..)

So, I certainly WONT settle for 2nd best and settle down with someone who isnt perfect for me. Soon, I will give the issue of settling down absolute focus again, but until then.. I have to/choose to be pragmatic..eg have dating/casual fun.

Some people will lie to themselves and say "my other half is as good as I will get.." That leads them to label it "love". I could never do that.

So if I'm not in a position to "settle down", I'll have dating fun, and casual relationships. I don't see the point in giving myself some sort of torture.
Altho sometimes, Ive channeled sexual energy into extreme exericse for short lengths of time -when I've been in a relat with someone a long way away.

 

It really depends. I'd like a long term, closely connected relationship with plenty of sex to keep things going. However, for someone like me, finding the right girl seems nearly impossible so the option of going through fuck-buddies sounds really appealing.

Me and my girlfriend broke up a few days ago for the fact that we were totally different people. The sex became the glue of the relationship and while it was great for a time, it slowly began wane. Once our differences became more obvious (and she began having a harder time getting wet), I knew the end was nigh.

 

thanks. My mind thinks "love" should heighten sex without effort. It doesn't. My mind thinks sex should mean love. It doesn't. As someone else said, I am pragmatic now. Flesh and pleasure. Talent is present whether there is love or not.

 

just two completely different things, that are both mostly good, and can happen in the same place at the same time, but don't have to, and don't really have very much, if anything, otherwise, to do with each other.

 

I am in a relationship and I enjoy being in it. I just got out of a 9 year marriage where I caught my husband talking to what he thought was a 13 year old on the internet, which it turned out to be a undercover cop and I didnt know until the SBI came knocking on my door....I learned my lesson quick. I am in love now or atleast I think I am. After so many dissapointments it is so hard to really know....but the sex is great I will say that.

 

On wow ^ that's a lot to go through

 

Personally, I do not believe in love to the effect that there are soulmates. I believe people delude themselves into believing that they are good or perfect for each other. That does not mean I am an advocate for promiscuity either.

 

To reaping to the original question I would say I have learned a lot from doing both. Being in a committed relationship for 14 years and once tht ended I was left out in a world of non committed sexual fun and both have been enjoyable experienced times in my life. Now once again,however, I am patiently trying to move into a committed relationship again. All things happen in their own time. Right now I'm not into playing just for fun. I've been there though and boy was it fun sometimes!

 

I have ha a soulmate he was my love and may be my soulmate forever even if we will never be together again. That love was priceless. But other kinds of love are just as amazing in their own ways.

 

I think a more appropriate title would be love vs lust.

Why did the FBI go to your house? Is it illegal to talk sexually with a minor? It's creepy sure, but I didn't think the FBI would bother tracking down every guy that does that on the internet.

 

Yes it is illegal to talk to minors on the internet and to share dick pics with them and it was the SBI, they took the computer he was talking on and ran a check on every single thing in it....because he didnt try to actually try to meet her is the only reason he didn't get charged and could have been put in jail and register as a sex offender....he got really lucky....not to mention I had a 16 year old and 3 year girl of ours in the home.....it sure made me watch every move he made around my girls.

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Lol ouch.

 

Wow, that's terrible, sorry to hear it. Just goes to show that you can never truly know another person.

 

Thank you and yes it does truly show you that just when you think you know a person they pull a trick out of their asses and completely cause trust issues for you in your next relationship, always watching and waiting.

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I have a friend who dated a guy for 3 years. He ended up having been married the whole time. He had a family. He had even tried to marry her. He ended up beating her out of nowhere in the end. She left him right away! But she never knew he wasn't who he said. Now she trusts no man. Harsh man...so harsh.

 

dude it's all about finding love, but who doesn't look for pointless sex at some point. I think everyone does, it doesn't mean we don't go running back to love.