Losing It

I currently live with my mother.. just moved to this location over 2 months ago which is 1,200 miles away from where I spent the 20 years prior.

It is a big move, change.. whatever you want to call it.

I feel I have adjusted OK.

There isn't much going on here, there isn't really a city even.. just shopping complexes off of the main highway that cuts through.. everything is really spaced out.

I have no vehicle. I have use of my moms when she isn't using it. She doesn't use it too terribly much.

I have a bicycle and my feet that I can count on as of this moment. Maybe I won't tomorrow but I have them today.

So I have to look for work in this general vicinity, a small perameter, that I can access via foot or bike relatively easily.

It is scarce.

I don't like living off of my mother. I want to be able to pay my own way.

That is the main cause of these emotions.. makes me feel less than sometimes.

I'm doing the foot work that needs to be done and trying to work with what I have available to me.

Falling into depression will not help me, that is a given so I have to be extra vigilant as this is a trying time for me in some ways.

Hope that is enough info.. also I have dealt with depression/negative self talk for a long time in various forms and feel like I've done a good job in overcoming it.

I tend to be pretty content nowadays.

 

ok, thanks for the detail, One Life Form.

"Curing Depression Naturally with Chinese Medicine" by Bob Flaws has some good info treating/curing depression.

The primary elements are

1/2 of gentle aerobic activity every day. A brisk walk maybe

meditation/deep relaxation for an hour every day.

dietary changes. I recommend fresh, lightly cooked whole foods and avoiding processed and chemicalized foods, and anything served cold.

Volunteering or participating in an internship might be worthwhile.

You're being screwed over by a dysfunctional economic system and by a dysfunctional set of social values that judges people by their participation in that economic system. You're not alone in being trapped in it. Your dignity and worth are much greater than you are given credit for. Realizing this/reminding yourself of this might help.

You might want to try going to the rainbow family gatherings to experience a different kind of social values, or maybe check out life in a commune.

Connecting to some community that properly values you could help a lot.

 

Thank you :daisy:

I went for a walk yesterday and was AMAZED at how much I needed that.

I meditate everyday.. not for an hour though. I am too lazy to bring meditation in action sometimes. It is difficult. While walking it is easier.

So I imagine maybe an hour out of the day I am actually meditating if you combine all the moments together

I eat very well. No processed foods.. all organic. I have been amazed over the years how much eating right prevents one from being tormented much more by the mind.
It keeps me on a keel that there is like a point where I cannot go any lower because of the quality food is working wonders.. I forgot about that. Thank you for reminding me that that is happening. I have been eating good for a long time now and have forgotten how much that is of benefit.

I'm in a big senior citizen zone and am planning on volunteering because for one I like the elderly and want to become a nurses assistant to work with them also I need something like that to help get me out of my own stew that gets cooked up in the mind.


It is a garbage system that we are living with now that is for sure.

I know that the way I live my life is of huge benefit to every being but still want to be contributing in that way so that I can be of better benefit.

I do have dysfunction playing in my head though.. that is the problem. It is ok to want to have a job to better serve others but to feel less than about being unemployed and looked down upon in others eyes is not.

I think there are rainbow family gatherings here in FL probably. I'm not sure how I'd get along in such an environment. There is probably drug use right?
I am a recovering addict with over three years clean. January 1st, 2009 is my clean date.

 

Volunteering would be a really big deal for a fearful guy like me.

Hold me accountable to it!!!

 

there's weed certainly, and acid. I don't think that there's too much of other drugs, at least that I've seen.

 

I bet there are some communes around though, that would be worth investigating though they might not be easy to get information on as places like that would probably not want to advertise such a thing.

 

the commune forum here seems to be pretty active.

I think that you can find openings in communes, the problem may be liking the commune that you find.

 

whhhhat !!! no way .Im just like u bro im 19 ,im a sign spinner and i have my own carwash biz on the side i started with two sign jobs and then lost one cause i deall with my thing but my mom is a depressed person so her vibes liek totally obscure my own potental. My depression caused me to lose a sign spinner job that i got 8 an hr at it was for a place that sold very fine cigars importaed from cuba ,ecuador,and nicuraga very very elegant high end joint man like i was on break hanging with people who sold yachts to people all over the treasure coast. So anyway ,I know that feeling of not being able to support yourself because its so intense .i should first start off by saying do not tripp ever it is very bad for a or depressed dude and btw bro your straight just dont allow any negitive situations to rare their disturbing uglyhead that will spiral you down ,trust me man i saw your sig and thought doooode that looks just like me but only if you had dreads bro in a mohawk lol,first if your depressive you need to exersize like u might not be able to keep a rut going doing that but it WILL work.you might not be able to keep up with the consistancy of your own work out plan because habitual behavior will drive you crazy (maybe),but its cool cause it takes 14 days to form a habit so just know when to switch it up ,dont smoke bud because it will mess with your mood unless your in cali and ya got your self a blue card, ummm ok lets seee uhhhh ohhh make sure you dont isolate yourself, if you'd think u notice you act really werid and very obvious ,do not let that overwelm you other people have their own junk going on to really care to judge you ,so play your own game ,the onset for depression is 20 to 30 and your peak might kill you at 30 to 40 unless you deal with theraputic ways to get used to mastering. Useing exersize WILL be your only hope if your as depressive at times as me, that literaly is not just me i really did research on this ,trust me this is how fast exersize will help you.You will see and feel and immedite results in the first 10 minutes of your workout and after you workout that effect will last into 20 mins .also write and publish (you can publish at a site called wizards pen .org or some thing like that or find a local coffee house will and open mic night )publish your own poetry or stories and if you dont know how to play music i suggest buy a guitar from a pawn they go from 19 to 35$ and up usually and you can learn to your favorite songs by looking up tabs but you prob already know that . I could go on about this forever but know this onelifeform ,(ha doode you think youll never beable to support yourself ,start making a dumawesome little list of priorities if your list is too long ,make 15 things and then skip around your list till you "do work" and gett the ball rolling I live in florida too right smack in royal palm beach its town down the road from clematis street which is on and in west palm beach, i used to hop trains and hitch hike i learned a ton doing so so im no dummy just a travel kid with a wanderlust for hope , if my advice helps ya dude cool im glad to help ,facebook me if you would like a new friend or something w.e. but any way peace and good luck out
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