Losing friends

What is the difference between the distance of space and the distance of death? The story we tell. The only time we know the pain of passing is when we insist that they have gone.
If you have a friend who is far away and they die without someone informing you, you would not think to grieve. This is because our relationships are inside of us, live inside of us, as much through our own testimony, as through their breath. We never loose those we love if we allow them to be, and recognize that they are, inside of us.

 

:grouphug: You need a hug - I can tell. I hope there is someone near - My wife of 34 years has cancer - I am afraid.

 

:I can only imagine what you are going through. Just before I met my Fiancee 3 years ago she lost her mother after a 6 year battle with Lung Cancer. If anyone reading this meets someone with lung cancer or the family of someone with lung cancer don't ask if they smoked. It is allways asked and it is about the most insensitive question. The subtext that gets read between the lines with that is "They smoked so they deserved their cancer."

Doright, I'm sorry about your wife. My mother got a growth removed from her face a couple of years ago. One of her friends lost her husband to lung cancer (Agent Orange if you need to know). I'm sure it is scary to lose someone that you have shared so much of your ife with. I strongly recommend "The Tibetan book of Living and Dying" By Sogyal Rinpoche. It is a daily meditation guide for the process of leaving this lifetime and prepairing for the next. I'm sorry I just realized I'm playing the worst case scenario, it is presumptous of me to do with so little information.
grouphug::
Peace Out,
Rev J

 

I know that feeling all to well-
It started when I was way to young- Back at the end of 69- when I got my invitation to Hell ,I decided I would take up training in FortSamHouston ,TX to try my hand as a medic
-To be honest- I went thru this because I was so against using a weapon to kill ,and medics were only allowed to carry a pistol and if we picked up a gun or weapon off of a dead or wounded soldier they would take it away from us real quick

The scariest thing is when you hear Medic!Medic!- its fuckin chaos, its dark and the air is full of smoke-- even with all that training your really a confused 20 yr old combat medic-You think your really prepared for that shit?? Not a fuckin chance!!Too many were dead before they were 21- atriot:
I escaped*
When I came back here, it was about a month before I was strung out- many more dead from dope in thier 20-to 30,s>,s:angelsad2:
I escaped that too
The 80,s came -it was Aids- for the ones that survived thier habitseace:
Unbelievably- I missed that too

Now - Ill be 60 in July. Its an age when you find out people you,ve known a long time are getting sick - naturally, wheather its cancer or complications from hepC or Diabeties or whatever...- I got a feeling I aint gonna escape this time- -Lets hope it is 40 years before I gotta think about it

Yeah ,I try not to think about the ones I knew who were taken from this planet way to early- and not to feel the guilt of still being here

to all of our friends and family who moved on- -I hope with all I got, that you all found peace**:grouphug:
muchlove
jjack

 

I used to work as a bartender. One of the places I worked had a handfull of Vietnam vets some nights they would be ok and other nights their PTSD would flair up. One of them almost pulled a gun on me one night. From what I understood the ones like you who became medics allways had the worst PTSD because they had to clean up the mess later and were the least armed. My heart goes out to you for what you've been through and what you are going through now. I guess the government has a thing against pacifism. If you don't want to kill people they'll make you a medic and give you the clean up detail. A group of conscientous objectors sued the US government because during the Vietnam War were brought out into the Desert and had different strains of the flu tested on them. And to add insult to injury until you flip out and shoot somebody the VA doesn't recognise PTSD as a war related disability.
I'm so sorry this happened.
Peace Out,
Rev J

 

Rev
I was going to send ya a private note of thanks- but I decided to respond publicly

Thanks for the kind words- and understanding.
I didnt know that the " mad medics" had it the worst when it came to PSTD. Thinking about it though , it makes sence.
I was telling a friend of mine ,here on the board, you would think that I would be the guy you would want in emergency situations, but I dont even like putting a band -aid on my wife- lol
As far as the VA goes- I have much more bad shit I could say about that group then good, thats for sure. - But some people involved with them> Try against all odds to make it a better organization-

IMO, its like spitting into the wind- -but they,re are some good people out there.:hurray:

much thanks&respect
jjack

 

This is such a wonderfully 'talking' thread...know what I mean?

Doright, I'm so sorry about your wife and I understand about you being afraid. It was a stroke with my husband and every day I'd wake and my guts would be in knots with fear about what I'd find at the hospital when I visited. The stroke unit was like a big extended family, they were all such a part of our lives. I hope you and your wife have such support.

Friends whom I haven't seen for ever have been in touch and one in particular seems to be struggling with his own mortality...makes everyone think I suppose.

Everyone take care and many blessings.

 

Heres a guy some of you might know that passed away recently. I sometimes alluded to the fact that I was on a methadone clinic with Jim Carroll - Poet, Musician, writer of The Basketball Diaries, addict, & all around good person. I never mentioned him by name out of respect for Jims privacy, but a few months ago now (time flies)- Jim passed away from at heart attack at his desk while working in his NY apt. I think he was 60-61, a year or 2 older than me- -

As time passed, we didnt see each other that often anymore. Besides some of his friends were pretty well known people & its not like I really fit in ,but being a addict on a methadone clinic has a way of leveling the playing field.

I miss the guy, ya know- and him being the same age and having a similiar lifestlye (more or less) really makes me think.
When you hit 60 and you look around and see people you,ve known for years just getting older -man it really makes you think. Grateful for having known them- sad that those who you grew up with arent here anymore- but you try to remember the joy- try to celebrate thier lives and not bum out- its a natural cycle. Its wierd
jjack

 

I just recently saw this documentary called Young@Heart. It is about a choir whos average age is 80 years old who do rock songs and this clip seemed to me to fit in this thread. I'm usually not a Coldplay fan but the lyrics take on a new meaning in this context:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gosIuO1HqEg"]YouTube- I will try to fix you
Peace Out,
Rev J

 

And sometimes life surprises you. My friend is still alive, and in fact he says he feels better than he has in years. The leukemia has apparently lost interest in him, at least for now.

You never know where good news is gonna come from

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHvf20Y6eoM"]YouTube - Turn! Turn! Turn! (to Everything There Is A Season)

I think of this song whenever I lose a friend or family member.....

 

I have a very dear friend-she's 92. Her twin whom I also knew passed away this year. The one left has buried 2 husbands,her parents,one of her 2 kids and now her 20 minute older twin. I'm an orphan too now, and it saddens me. I think I m afraid of being 92 and losing everyone I ever knew. My friend is obviously a fount of strength. I hope to be as tough..

 

Not that losing any of those is easy, but I think losing your child is the worst one of all. I have known parents who have lost children, and they are never, ever the same. Ever.

 

in response to "shale" that quote is going in my list of groovy quotes. that's definitely me. peace, paisley skye.