Let's talk.

They deserve it for the affair.

 

Gotta love Karma!

 

A man goes to the doctor
" doctor" he says, " I've got a problem, I have five penises"
"wow how do your trousers fit?" asks the doctor,
" like a glove" the man replies

 

A love-starved widow was so desperate that she went to a local newspaper office and enquired about putting an advertisement in the Lonely Hearts column.

"Well, madam," the assistant said, "we charge a minimum of £1 per insertion."

"You don't say," replied the widow. "Well, then, here's £20 and to hell with the advertisement."

 

A bloke goes for the job of cook on a ship. The geezer who is interviewing asks, "Can you fry eggs?"

"Can I fry eggs! I've worked in some of the top hotels in England," replies the bloke. "Give me half a dozen."

So he's given six eggs which he starts to juggle with. After a minute of brilliant juggling, he throws the eggs one by one over his shoulder towards the frying pan, which is behind him. Each egg hits the side of the pan, cracks open and the shell falls into the bin below and the eggs slide unbroken into the frying pan.

"That's amazing," says the interviewer, "but it must have been a fluke."

"A fluke! Give me a dozen," says the bloke. He then proceeds to do even more elaborate juggling and repeat the finale, so there's now 18 unbroken eggs sizzling in the pan.

"Well, then, do I get the job?"

"No, you piss about too much!"

 

A woman wearing a dirty basketball jersey walks into a bar. She lifts her arm, showing everyone her hairy armpit. "Would any of you men like to buy me a beer?" she asks.
One man, who has drunk at least fourteen beers already, says, "I'd like to buy the ballerina a beer!"

The bartender says, "Look, sir, I have met many women over the years. Some were more tomboyish than girly, others more girly than tomboyish, but none as tomboyish as this woman. For example, she was wearing a basketball jersey. Would a girly girl play basketball?"

"No," says the drunk. "The jersey was all dirty," adds the bartender. "Would a girly girl wear such dirty clothes?"

"No," says the drunk. "She also had hairy armpits," says the bartender. "Would a girly girl shave her armpits?"

"Yes," says the drunk. "She also asked for a beer," says the bartender, "which is, in fact, what you would like to buy her. Would a girly girl drink beer?"

"No," says the drunk. "See what I mean?" says the bartender. "This woman is a tomboyus maximus. And would a tomboy do ballet?"

"No," says the drunk. "So do you still think she's a ballerina?" asks the bartender.

"Yes," replies the drunk. "What makes you think that?" asks the bartender.

And the drunk answers, "Who else could lift her leg up that high?"

 

A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place. The bar tender freaks out. "You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I'll beat the shit out of you..."
The man begins crying. "I'm sorry! Its ruining my life. I can't sleep. I do it every time I have a drink! It's worrying me to death, please don't hit me..." The bar tender takes pity. "Look, I have a brother who is a psychiatrist, here's his card, why don't you see him?" The man hugs the bartender, shakes his hand and leaves with a thousand thank you's...Six months later, the man walks into the bar, and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Okay, here you go... Wait! Weren't you that guy who.." "Yes, And I went and saw your brother. He is fantastic, I am completely cured." "Well, that's great. This beer is on the house." So the man drinks the beer, stands on the bar, drops his trousers and pisses on the bar. "You bastard! I thought you said you were cured!" "I am! It doesn't bother me anymore..."

 

UK researchers identify inflammatory protein linked to severe COVID-19 | Imperial News | Imperial College London​

 

I sure bet that it was closer than 12 Monkeys.

 

Watch the film Rainbow

 

Absolutely.

 

Good THEN make comments. xxx

 

Does chicken eat pie?

 

I bet it does. Chicken pie too.

 

Chicken pot pie.

 

I do find some strange vids. lol

 

For the last howeverlong I have been in the back of my mind toying with the curiosity of having been awarded degrees. In my current position, it honestly felt like an opportunity was passing me by. I decided in earnest to look for a position that would employ a more upward-moving orientation; not that the current job is bad, but just that I don't see real opportunity for my position in the company to move forward.

A little bit about that... There are about 60 people at this company doing what I do. There are maybe 2 lead positions on a given day with four leaders in total. If I were to move up, that would be the logical position for advancement. I don't like my odds, and there are people who have been with the company years longer than I have (I am still with them through a temp agency).

Essentially, I asked my temp agency if they could move me into another of their jobs in a different field. And they said no! Oh my... Anyway, I wanted to explore my options, and it didn't sound like they would allow it while I was still working at my current job. So I spoke with my supervisor and let him know that toward the end of the month I shouldn't be scheduled.

Later, I got a text asking which position I had applied for with their corporate office. I replied, but though little of it. Then, at night I was in Russian class and I got an email. Corporate would like to interview me for the position.

 

Not many get !00%.

Have Fun With This Little Test (Answers are on the bottom. "No cheating, now!") !


1. When did ''Little Suzie'' finally wake up?
(a) The movie's over, it's 2 o'clock
(b) The movie's over, it's 3 o'clock
(c) The movie's over, it's 4 o'clock

2. ''Rock Around The Clock'' was used in what movie?
(a) Rebel Without A Cause
(b) Blackboard Jungle
(c) The Wild Ones

3. What's missing from a Rock & Roll standpoint?
Earth _____
(a) Angel
(b) Mother
(c) Worm

4. ''I found my thrill...'' Where?
(a) Kansas City
(b) Heartbreak Hotel
(c) Blueberry Hill

5. ''Please turn on your magic beam
_____ _____ bring me a dream,''
(a) Mr. Sandman
(b) Earth Angel
(c) Dream Lover


6. For which label did Elvis Presley first record?
(a) Atlantic
(b) RCA
(c) Sun


7. He asked, ''Why's everybody always pickin' on me?'' Who was he?
(a) Bad, Bad Leroy Brown
(b) Charlie Brown
(c) Buster Brown


8. In Bobby Darin's ''Mack The Knife,'' the one with the knife, was named:
(a) Mac Heath
(b) Mac Cloud
(c) McNamara


9. Name the song with
''A-wop bop a-loo bop a-lop bam boom.''
(a) Good Golly, Miss Molly
(b) Be-Bop-A-Lula
(c) Tutti Fruitti

10. Who is generally given credit for originating the term ''Rock And Roll''?
(a) Dick Clark
(b) Wolfman Jack
(c) Alan Freed

11. In 1957, he left the music business to become a preacher:
(a) Little Richard
(b) Frankie Lymon
(c) Tony Orlando

12. Paul Anka's ''Puppy Love'' is written to what star?
(a) Brenda Lee
(b) Connie Francis
(c) Annette Funicello

13. The Everly Brothers were.....
(a) Pete and Dick
(b) Don and Phil
(c) Bob and Bill

14. The Big Bopper's real name was:
(a) Jiles P. Richardson
(b) Roy Harold Scherer Jr.
(c) Marion Michael Morrison

15. In 1959, Berry Gordy, Jr., started a small record company called...
(a) Decca
(b) Cameo
(c) Motown

16. Edd Brynes had a hit with ''Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb''. What TV show was he on?
(a) 77 Sunset Strip
(b) Hawaiian Eye
(c) Surfside Six

17. In 1960 Bobby Darin married:
(a) Carol Lynley
(b) Sandra Dee
(c) Natalie Wood

18. They were a one hit wonder with ''Book Of Love''
(a) The Penguins
(b) The Monotones
(c) The Moonglows

19. The Everly Brothers sang a song called ''Till I ______ You.''
(a) Loved
(b) Kissed
(c) Screwed
(d) Met

20. Chuck Berry sang
''Oh, ___________, why can't you be true?''
(a) Suzie Q
(b) Peggy Sue
(c) Maybelline

21. ''Wooly _______''
(a) Mammouth
(b) Bully
(c) Pully

22. ''I'm like a one-eyed cat....."
(a) can't go into town no more
(b) sleepin' on a cold hard floor
(c) peepin' in a seafood store

23. ''Sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do........''
(a) cause there ain't no answer for a life without booze
(b) cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues
(c) cause my car's gassed up and I'm ready to cruise

24. ''They often call me Speedo, but my real name is......''
(a) Mr. Earl
(b) Jackie Pearl
(c) Milton Berle

25. ''Be Bop A Lula ....''
(a) she's got the rabies
(b) she's my baby.
(c) she loves me, maybe

26. ''Fine Love, Fine Kissing .....''
(a) right here
(b) fifty cents
(c) just for you

27. ''He wore black denim trousers and...''
(a) a pink carnation
(b) pink leotards
(c) motorcycle boots

28. ''I got a gal named..........''
(a) Jenny Zamboni
(b) Gerri Mahoney
(c) Boney Maroney


Answers:
Scroll Down so you aren't tempted to cheat (as if cheating were needed here)
* * * * * * * * * * * *
1. (c) The movie's over, it's 4 o'clock
2. (b) Blackboard Jungle
3. (a) Angel
4. (c) Blueberry Hill
5. (a) Mr. Sandman
6. (c) Sun
7. (b) Charlie Brown
8. (a) Mac Heath
9. (c) Tutti Fruitti
10. (c) Alan Freed
11. (a) Little Richard
12. (c) Annette Funicello
13. (b) Don and Phil
14. (a) Jiles P. Richardson
15. (c) Motown
16. (a) 77 Sunset Strip
17. (b) Sandra Dee
18. (b) The Monotones
19. (b) Kissed
20. (c) Maybelline
21. (b) Bully
22. (c) peepin' in a sea food store
23. (b) cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues
24. (a) Mr. Earl
25. (b) she's my baby
26. (a) right here
27. (c) motorcycle boots
28. (c) Boney Maroney

 

The Irish Millionaire


The Irish Millionaire

Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.

"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?"

"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"

"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

a) Sparrow


b) Thrush,


c) Magpie,


d) Cuckoo?"


"I haven't got a clue." said Mick,


''So I'll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin ...."


Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and
repeated the question to him.

"Hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple ... it's a cuckoo."



"Are you sure?"

"I'm surely sure... ! "

Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go with cuckoo as my answer."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.

"Dat it is."

There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed,
"Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million euros!"

The next night, Mick went down to Paddy's pub to buy him a drink.

"Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"



...and Paddy said "Because, ya damn fool,... it lives in a clock!"