Lets all together tell a story

Burn everything down and build a.....

 

At which point Sally, you remember Sally, this is a story about sally, showed up and said don't burn this village, a better idea would be to leave it alone and .......

 

rot naturally, but they set it on fire anyway, so she went to live in......

 

a place far away from people who are so destructive.

 

Life in the cemetery was rather boring.

 

until she met him one night while the moon was full, he looked at her sadly through vampire eyes and held out his hand to her saying "join me for all eternity", she swept across the cemetery in her flowing white dress, and fell into his arms, he en-brassed her and she entered the world of the undead.....

 

The next few years were like a fairy tale. Updating and decorating the tomb, romantic dinners at the blood bank and then reality reared it's ugly head.

 

Destructive people came with crosses and sharp stakes to kill them, a big mob of them shouting " kill the abominations in the name of the lord" so they quickly had to think of a plan and decided to....

 

Revert to the form of bats, flying into the moonlight dropping guano on the crazed mob.

 

The whole town decided to never go there again, and all bathed in holy water, and left the lovers alone in their world.

 

Nature took its course and sure enough 60 to 240 days later they were the proud parents of two bouncing baby pups. Hanging upside down in the cave one night they decided it was time for the family to revert to human form, mostly for improved housing options.

 

So they got their nice house, but one of the baby's couldn't turn back and stayed as a bat, they thought they would sort it out later, so bought him a cage in the sitting room. Some nosy bitch called animal welfare and they came to take the bat, they all cried and said "don't take our baby"! So they were sectioned as insane and the bat was taken to the zoo, and the other baby was put into care.Years later the boy discovered he had a brother and went to look for him but was told........

 

..He had died from white nose syndrome. Erroneously thinking his brother had die from cocaine abuse he became a social worker, dedicating his life helping bats with chemical dependancy issues. One day while trolling the seedy back alleys of his city, looking for those who could use his guidance, he met.....

 

... A sexy seductive bleached up blond, she was also a coked up hooker from Tijuana paying off her citizenship fee. She kindly explain to him about sucking cock and how much to pay. He never thought about women this way because for him bats and apparently his balls were always the mental highlights of his sexual fantasies.

"I have no money on me for I came to this back alley just outside the Japanese therapeutic parlor to give guidance to all who wish to listen." He said.

"What guidance do you speak of? How to give better hand jobs to paying customers?" She responds.

When all of a sudden a shadowy figure comes up behind him...

 

The figure was in disguise so they could be disgusting and no one would realize who they realy were.So he shouted get thee behind me satan! And the figure knowing he had been rumbled sank back into the shadows feeling realy stupid.......

 

:smilielol5:where he lived out his life like most shadowy figures, insignificantly and with little bearing on events. Meanwhile, back in the alley, he, who shall from this point forward be known as "The Count", noticed a ragged homeless woman. It was Sally! Yes, Sally from so long ago in this story. He took a long hard look at her and said.....

 

"People like you are the reason I'm on medication."

Sally began to cry. The Tijuana hooker nick named 'Tiny' from her brief time on a Mexican chain gang was standing next to the count, she tried to help Sally by giving random advice like "My boyfriend will get you in 35% to help out with his money problems." or "It's ok, all older women go through the change."

This didn't help Sally much.

A few moments later Sally looked up into the night sky which was over looking the city and in this moon lighted sky a shinny shooting spoon began to appear, and on this spoon there sit a man. The man was Jim, Jim Morrison of course, throwing many of his red hashy marijuana bags onto the city streets below like gifts of candy.

"Yippy Ki Yay!" he shouted before jumping off from the spoon. As Jim fell by magic a large roll of Scotty two ply toilet paper appeared in the sky, rolling it's self out in a multi colored texture it shape stretched into a slide in which Jim fell upon gently rolling down to the alley below where the hooker, the count, and Sally was.

Holding more magical bags of goodies in his hands Jim shouted yet again...

 

"Verily, quite apart from the luscious bounty I bestow onto thee from heaven, quite legally (the Democrats are in again... we had a bit of a problem with Reagan for a for the last few years but...) I bring to thee a message from Elvis. A message of woe and despair."

After refuting the suggestions from the mere mortals as to whether said message might relate to the missed royalties from Elvis' back-catalogue, or his regret regarding the making of "that Hawaiian film" Jim continued...

"no, he brings a message to all of mankind, and it reads... now where did I put that... you would think they could put pockets on these things ,,,, Ah Yes, HE SAYS...."

 

..........It mustve slipped out of my grasp when i was going through the meadow of shankaler."Shankaler?" asked Patty. Yes said Jim grimacing over the remorse of something that shouldnt have happened. Now this new guy who just so happened to be in the room Rick simply walked around pacing thinking about how the situation should be handled calmly. Patty stood up walked to the window and stared through the window half blocked by a tree thinking about this new thing she learned and recieted many time in her head seeing if itd spark some type of "ohh yes, i know shankaler moment".Softer and softer as the minutes passed as the thought of ever knowing that became distant by each second.Suddenly Rick, who spoke in a british accent even though he was oriental asked Jim a question."Sir?..How should we handle this situation. Surely the masses wont be happy with this.Sir? Sir??!!". Jim wouldnt answer because he too walked towards the window staring through the half blocked window with his mind occupied by the question. Rick, who had to take a seat with the overwhelmingness of the situation looked up towards the fourth floor balcony above them that just so happened to be decoarated with Christmas decorations in the month of august and seen.........

 

And out of the carnage rose up a new species of life, resembling.....