Lets all together tell a story

...she wondered why h never seem to roll a one...37 rolls in a row and not a one..then she thought to think about the symbolgy of that realization........

 

but was quickly distracted by the monkey, who began to masturbate furiously in an attempt to keep his secret, which was...

 

he had NO patience AND her simpler symbol brainwaves turned him on...............

 

so he gave her a rum and coke, made with lambs rum the good stuff...get her nice and drunk quick so he could....

 

explain the difference between man and woman....he said..." since the earliest days when cavemen and cave women were nothing but monkies who didn't want to climb trees anymore.........men wrote on cave walls using pictures that were realistic.....women used symbols of real things rather than pictures. It took a while for men to figure out the written language could be made from symbols, thousands and thousands of years........but hey Sally now that your drunk...........would you like to draw with crayons on the wall?

 

but she didnt want to draw, her mind was on quantum physics
"Oh damn", she thought, "not that quantum entanglement theory again"
but it was too late, by noon she had discovered where most current physics was going wrong
2/4^6 X ¬ /V^3 * y/w/2 (E=mc^2) /4
"damn damn damn,this physics is blowin my brain"
just as she thought this the science police burst in through the door
followed by Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair
"WHAAAAAT HAAAAVE YOOOOO BEEEEEN THIIIIIIIINKING?
WEEEEVE BEEEN WAAAAATCHING YOOOO FOR SUM TIME"
Hawkings voice sang androidinously. YOOOO ARE COOOMMMMMMMMI I I IN G
WITH US
at that point she was hadcuffed and thrown into the back of a police wagon, guarded by 15 soldiers who all looked as though they wanted to give her a good ....

 

Spanking!

Fortunately for her, she managed to escape by using a strategically placed automatic castrator located just behind the glass case on the wall (use in case of emergency). She removed all of thier balls and sold them on Ebay for lots of money, which she then used to purchase Dark side of the moon. After listening to this she realized that material things were useless and couldn't make her any happier than she was, so she gave it to people it could help...that is to say charity...but first she bought some LSD. After a couple weeks of straight tripping, she forgot all about Pink Floyd and realized she needed some quick cash. She thought about becoming a whore, but then realized that was ridiculous, so she...

 

(just then in the Neverending story about Sally) she flashed on the fact since quantum physics entered her mind she was telepathically influenced by males intent on controlling her to do things that gave her an inferiority comlex, real control freaks who wanted to meet her later and tell her sobbing face 'it's okay baby, I'm her to protect you from hurting yourself and others, just make love to me and I'll stick around if your lucky' Sally thought I wonder if they learned this behavior from their dad? Then she flashed on an idea..........hehehhe she thought..this will be a very interesting thing next time some male writes me into a negative box..very interesting..............

 

Sally's idea was to just go with the flow. She had come to the conclusion that men ruled the world, and that was the way it should be. Sally chose to embrace traditional gender roles with gusto. She was searching high and low for a kitchen, or at least a nice frying pan, when she was suddenly captured by....

 

a one inch tall inky black man who looked like the tarbaby. He had a minature rope around her waist and he stood on the kitchen counter. She pulled back and bent over resting her arms on the counter looking at him dangle from the rope off her tummy. He climbed it like a kid with a playful attitude............

 

until he reached the top. At once he grew into a 20ft high, three year old with a real AK47, and then once more morphed into sweet old lady with a basket of flowers, and then into an exact likeness of Donald Rhumsfeld
"ah.... pull your knickers up, girl I aint into that kinda thing much anymore, not since I sold my soul"
He immediately then became his real self - the one that he was born into
It was Dr David Ricicle, the post-modernist post-feminist with attitude.
"I'm here to tell you that feminism is dead, and that you are wasting your time being written by some outdated preconcept about the way girls should live"
"ooh, said sally, now you are no longer Donald Rhumsfeld and you have explained to me that I am free if I want to be - will you take me binge drinking and shag me senseless till I get A masters degree in modern literature"
ricicle looked puzzled "what do you know of modern literature, read any William Gibson?"
"seen the films", said sally,
"That'll do, come let us away to a postmodern future where every theory is smashed to peices by one undefeatable theory - no feminist can argue against the post modern machine"

and at that he tugged at her knicker elastic and ricicle and sally flew into the sky to...

 

turn and face this common consciousness group entity male father figure. HE turned into a pile of pig shit...........

 

Sally felt lost without him and stayed around, she really thought, as most girls do nowadays, that the big authors in the sky who keep sensuring progression and want to return to the good ole days of feminist readings of literature were wasting their time. All this talk of third wave feminism indeed !
Ooh la la la girls just wanna have fu-u-n, the song echoed in her mind. Sudenly the heap of shit took shape - it was in the shape of Ricicle then fully became ricicle. Dr Ricicle ! Exclaimed sally I have been getting telepathic signals from the authors in the sky ! We are being hijacked by a latent feminist critic when what we really need is a postmodern author.
Ricicle looked nervous - come sally let us go before the evil feminist hacks attack... Come! Let us away to the student bar - this will be your first binge drinking session - remind me to get some sick bags for you
and at that - they flew into the sky and landed outside the bar - went in - ordered some drinks and sat down, when who should appear but....

 

... Dionysus! The god of wine! And he made the bar flow with wine, and Ricicle and Sally got drunk before being washed out into the street on a wave of wine.

Before passing out, Sally remembered a car stopping in front of them and a large figure escorted the two of them into the back seat.

As she came around.....

 

so she ran to the water hole to grab a big drink. as she was bent over the hole she started to smell something like dirt and mold so she looked at a patch of grass and saw mushrooms starting to poke out.

 

....the particular variety of mushrooms are known for their hallucinogenic properties, but if taken in excess, have been known to cause death.......





h

 

....so, she only ate six of the smallest mushrooms...that should be safe (she thought)...

After a while, Sally started hearing a low buzzing sound that kept getting louder and louder....she turned and looked up in astonishment as a...

 

screen showed robinson missing the ball and watching it sail past him into the goal!

 

...........But Robinson misssing the ball was merely a distraction & a whopping great L.S.Bumblebee landed on Sally & stung her right on the left......

 

presence of mind that was not before unfolded into her,a chill filled the air,the wind began to howl