Kitten's Litter

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by KittenX, Jun 15, 2004.

  1. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    You know what?

    I’ve grown into a beautiful girl.

    Do you remember?
    (of course not)
    you didn’t know,
    I acted the scrawny,
    sheepish part.

    Lowered my eyes,
    shrunk back
    when standing side by side
    with flawless blossoms.

    All bottled up,
    I only dreamt of waking up
    one day
    when I could love myself
    for all I am and willingly
    accept all that I’m not.

    Now I occupy a territory
    and amplify once muted voice.

    So hear me out.

    I couldn’t tell you how it happened,
    maybe the trick is in fooling
    yourself long enough.

    Maybe I simply got tired of caring
    or gave up on trying to catch up.

    But I no longer lurk,
    slouching and lagging behind.

    Actually it doesn’t even matter how,
    what’s impressive is that I
    finally feel alive and expansive.

    Sometimes you just need to
    build up
    your own pedestal.
     
  2. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    I don’t want a white picket fence,
    a villa in Nice or a new Benz.

    I want to live without contraptions,
    without the formulas for standard sucess.

    I know it’s unthinkable.

    How dare I deviate?

    I know it’s impractical.

    How could I possibly face
    the weight
    of my choices and their effects?

    But I must stay fixed
    on my intent,
    though to walk alone
    is to stockpile regrets.
     
  3. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    Lie on top of me – weightless,
    we are a mountain,
    asleep
    under moss.

    On top of me – heavy,
    my carcass is
    safe under yours.

    I will breathe easy
    once we’re embedded
    in stone.
     
  4. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

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    Great job. Good to see new poetry from you.
     
  5. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

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    glad you're back, and with such a wonderfully sensual offering as well! that "we are a mountain" line... what a great image :)
     
  6. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    Favorite - familiar - black dirt

    permanent
    under my nails
    and in my pores.

    I AM CLEAN.

    I.

    34,000 ft above
    endless water.

    I studied cloud tectonics,
    islands chipped
    from alien continents.

    Through icicles
    on oval windows,
    I saw…

    Dry milky skin,
    torn into patches
    stretched
    to complete horizon.

    Grey cells formed into
    spine columns.

    Gaps, like mouths
    peered into
    constant depths.

    I missed the earth.

    My tiny ship
    held its course
    into the sun.

    Nosed into Scandinavia,
    adrift in the Norwegian sky,
    at last
    I caught the sight of snowcaps
    and the toast crust of mountains.

    II.

    Moscow –
    "Oh brave
    new world
    with such people
    in it"

    Cars whiz by
    malls,
    stores,
    billboards,
    high rise,
    duplex,
    mega,
    super.

    I am an exiled
    paratrooper.

    III.

    Dear, sell me a bra.
    Sell me an image,
    Sell me first impressions,
    Sell me something flashy,
    I don’t stand out on my own.

    Stripped, ripped and scrutinized,
    I hid behind the golden drape.

    IV.

    Relatives draw swords,
    domestic apocalypse
    looms like an angry cloud.

    They circle in the circus ring,
    round and round each other.

    Ready to cut the ropes,
    jump at each other’s throats.

    Unspoken blood thirst in the cautious eyes.

    Telepathic vampires walk on shells,
    trek through the mine field.

    With frigid fear of a wrong step,
    I'm like a medic and a mediator,
    keep verbal landslide at its bay,
    I censor slips,
    a powder keg of buried wrongs.

    I'm here to keep track of the death toll.

    V.

    If I can live through this,
    I can live through anything.

    I subject myself to torture,
    stretch my limits to infinity.

    I have asked for strength and patience.

    Draw it out from the within,
    for I have the grit of madness.

    to be continued...
     
  7. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    VI.

    Me and you,
    so opposite,
    so similar

    Like the adverse ambassadors.

    You’ve got your
    experience.

    And I’ve got my
    principles.

    We spent the nights
    in the kitchen
    drinking Earl Grey
    and whispering
    about the existence of God
    and the soul.

    About psychoanalysis
    and mental manipulation.

    You spoke of the evil
    and I spoke of the good.

    Yet you said that
    on the contrary
    to reach the heights of heaven
    one must know the depths of hell.

    At dawn I was inarticulate and dull.

    VII.

    He pierces through, bores into my eyes,
    I squirm.

    Avoid his sparkling blue lights.

    In this Gestapo
    interrogation,
    his stare blinds me
    into a confession.

    Every time my glance freezes.
    I have nothing to say.

    He tries to pry into my thoughts.

    Takes my palm,
    examines the curves and pitfalls
    of my life.

    Smiles, sly without telling me why.

    Only mentions that I am precious
    and sighs with awe.

    VIII.

    What do you want from me?

    And he implies the many ways
    he’d like to have me.

    I hug my knees,
    body language fortifies.
     
  8. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    IX.

    Two kindred souls.

    Hand in hand,
    sprinted to run out of breath.

    Arm on the waist,
    propped up,
    held on to the belt.

    3 am.

    Drunk and stumbling,
    mumbling.

    Let’s not go home.

    In the street lights,
    wet cheeks glistened.

    You pitied me
    and listened.

    We walked on
    towards the forest
    through the dew in the field,
    along the fire line of a rising sun.

    Stopped.

    Gasped.

    Exhaled…

    “I want this to last forever”

    Inhaled the loyal, native air
    and sniffled.

    X.

    Though century old
    preserved natural world
    is starkly juxtaposed
    with plastic trash
    on every curb,
    I saw freedom
    in the expanses.

    Freedom had meaning here.

    When I closed my eyes,
    I recognized the air.

    Overwhelmed, I’d evaporate to be one with
    the sky that spills over the periphery,
    the sky that knows no ills…

    XI.

    You and your sister are rare gems.

    How would you know, you haven’t known all women…

    -He smirks-

    I’ve known enough in my life.

    -I gulp-

    Oh yeah? How old are you?

    16

    No really…

    -Next day, peeked into the passport-

    Born in 1975.

    XII.

    Nobody greets you.
    Nobody looks or smiles
    at you.

    After all why should they?

    But I walked down the street
    grinned and stared at every passerby
    as they averted their eyes.
     
  9. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    XIII.

    When born into poverty,
    living in mud and
    war wreckage.

    Beauty finds a way
    to sprout forth
    out of giant puddles.

    XIV.

    We’re all crazy specters
    to one another
    because we’re selfish monsters
    who don’t take the time
    to understand the motives
    and each others inner lives.
     
  10. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    XV.

    I warn you
    do not look at me
    with those fox eyes.

    Or else
    I will fall in love.

    I already have...

    XVI.

    Nobody will change.
    Our truce is
    called off.

    Nobody will admit
    they’re wrong.

    Our iron will is daft.

    I curse these genes.

    XVII.

    Vagabond
    among the thorns.

    This is not my home.

    Where will I go?

    XVIII.

    I gesticulate like her.
    Roll my eyes like her.
    Remind you of her.
    My tone of voice is hers.

    We’re sisters, asunder.
     
  11. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    IXX.

    I sat alone,
    watching the long awaited rain
    drum on my bench,
    run down the roof,
    and into the empty tub.

    Later,
    I treasured every yellow drop.

     
  12. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    XX.

    I play Frogger with traffic.

    There are no laws
    in this current
    of foreign, speeding cars.

    Sweat makes cotton awful
    prickly.

    Fresh breeze is rare pleasure.

    Congested, humid town
    coughs exhaust fumes.

    My lungs hack in response.
    My ankles moan.

    The denizens adapted to the morning chill
    and midday heat
    don layers, garish wool.

    I’m stunned and panting.

    All worn out,
    I carry a throbbing needle in my chest,
    with every step it burrows deeper.

    Prior to the sun
    there was a downpour.

    Now puddles flood walkways,
    where wooden planks
    serve as uncertain bridges.

    But holy children, do not mind,
    all bare feet and smiles,
    they test the depths of muddy waters.

    Quite jealous, I walk on past them
    down ragged roads, slide under
    low stooped branches,
    leave minute footprints
    in the soggy soil.

    Across the street,
    I meet a raven haired princess
    in stilettos balancing on the cement curb,
    all in white and proud.

    There, in the shade of maples trees
    are boys with baby faces
    but adult habits, they gesture
    with ciggy butts and follow me
    with raptor eyes

    until I disappear
    behind the corner,
    and they forget me as if I never came
    into their view.
     
  13. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    XXI.

    Children mimic youth,
    youth acts grown up.

    What do grown ups have
    to look for?

    Age is ugly.

    Today they are trendy
    but tomorrow they’re obsolete
    and forever last in line.

    Make way.
     
  14. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

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    XIII, one of my favorite
    numbers and recent poems...

    Like a lotus rising from the fertile mud.
     
  15. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    XXII.

    Pines and sunshine.

    God is here in the tall trees,
    among the bright wreaths.

    Black marble or green metal monuments
    like an army, salute those who passed on.

    Crosses, below them are photos,
    dates, names and tender words
    engraved in stone.

    Wild flowers bloom
    from the hearts’ of the mounts.

    Silence is loud and
    peace is here in the tall trees
    among our loved ones.
     
  16. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    XXIII.

    Why is mercy so absurd?

    XXIV.

    There is no religion,
    there is only faith
    in better days
    for our kin,
    we do not ask
    for ourselves.

    Our time has passed.

    These are not mere prayers.

    Our blood was not spilled,
    our backs were not broken,
    our hands did not tame this soil for nothing.

    So let our children never know toil,
    let them never know war,
    and let them finally learn
    to forgive.
     
  17. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    XXV.

    These dinosaurs must have patience of titans.

    They’re so used to waiting, so used to being degraded
    and willingly accepting when officials equate them with worms.

    So they stifle themselves, wasted and tired.

    The thought that they too have rights
    doesn’t seem to enter the mind
    or maybe it does
    with every waking moment as it slowly creeps from behind
    and with every breath they take, like a parasite it embeds in the lungs,
    being at its worst at night, as they turn and toss, coughing up blood.

    And yet they stand.
     
  18. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    XXVI.

    The lucky are those
    who do not realize
    they are slaves.

    They’re quite content
    with the lack of free will.
    They are the ones who
    at ill times reprimand the fate.

    Of course, choice all on your own
    is alarming,
    better let those more adept
    orchestrate the existence.

    XXVII.

    Life is best perceived through contrasts.


    XXVIII.

    My scab might never heal,
    keep peeling it off to reveal
    more flesh.
    Lick escaping blood,
    saliva blunts the aftertaste of rust.


    IXXX

    Another day is killed, slowly dripping
    off my fingertips.
    I look up, amazed that even
    the sky is liquid dirt.

    I smile, eager.
    The blind sun cuts in through
    the strata
    with scarce warmth and a requiem.
     
  19. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    XXX.

    Behind concrete walls
    with painted swastikas are
    the abandoned factories,
    victims of age and apathy.

    Thick grime on thin glass,
    rusting train wagons, slanted
    and hidden in the grass.

    Toy houses blink by with
    dull colors and symmetry carved
    into its timber sides.

    Rust is everywhere, on fences, nails
    and faces of the hung over men
    standing, idle on the platforms.

    Middle aged mothers, slouching, with wrinkles
    like battle scars
    hang on to their plastic bags and sons.

    Frozen markets, frozen crowds, frozen windows
    are illuminated with virgin beams of light.

    I witness the stirring, the palpitation of rural life.
     
  20. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    XXXI.

    Orphan.

    He is nameless,
    but he is still my brother.

    He sits alone in the box
    and he draws hunger.

    Grey skin is stretched
    over his bird like bones.

    He’s cold, he’s got a runny nose.

    I watch, detached and guilty.

    I am a murderer too.
     

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