Just checking in.

I don't really know you, but
this thread made me all warm and happy inside.
and then confused when you started talking about how you were jesus.

 

someone came up to me about a month ago and asked me for some spare change to take the bus to see his sick mother....

i saw him passed out in the park the next day

 

Confusion is such a drag. Me telling you that I'm Jesus is like Ronald Reagan being the Devil, we all know it's true.

SMIIIILLLE

 

wtf makes you jesus?

if you're jesus, im marilyn monroe...

time to up those meds dude, theyre not workin anymore

 

Hello Marilyn, in case you haven't noticed I tell everyone exactly what they need to hear. That's what I do, it's my calling so to speak.

You shmucks all work for me.

Well you know that I'm a monkey man, and I'm glad you are a monkey woman too.

I hope we're not too MESSIANIC or a trifle too satanic, I love to play the blues.

 

they do come up with the best stories sometimes.

bum: yeah i'm from out of town, just passing through on my way home to my family... man, i was driving and my battery died so now i'm stuck here and can't get back to my pregnant wife, and i have a job interview that i'm going to miss now because i can't get home. so can you give me five dollars for a sandwich?

me: oh where's your car? i have jumper cables.

bum: shit, it's over on the east side in my buddy's driveway...

me: you walked all the way here from the east side looking for money for a sandwich?

bum: no man, i got dropped off over here to pick up a spare tire for my car, and my ride didn't show up yet.

me: oh, there's a flat tire too? where's the spare?

bum: man, i tried to get it but the man wasn't there when i got there and i couldn't pay for it because i'm missing work right now.

me: alright whatever, here's a buck.

bum: thank you kind gentleman, now my family can eat tonight! (bum then proceeds to walk next door to liquor store)

 

what part of maryland are you from?

 

jesus is not a person, he is a way of life.

i'm glad you've awoken to your purpose and have chosen to practice what you preach. i wish you wouldn't say that you are the second coming of jesus, though... it sounds a bit naive. maybe you should just say you are an embodiment of truth, light, and love.... a teacher and a healer....

 

from the crazy part, obviously...most likely an asylum

 

Hello Jesus,

In case you haven't noticed, you're completely full of shit and anyone who believes a word of what you say is not only retarded but crazy too...
have a nice day monkey man

from
marilyn

 

I'm not going to tell you what to think. That's the government's job, and they work wonders.

Have a nice day.

 

They let me outside when I need to use the restroom. That is all.

 

the stories can be believable at times, but most of the ones i encounter don't even bother with a story- they just ask for money to which i reply one of two things.....

bum: have any spare change?
me: no, do you? im kinda poor i could use a coffee....

bum: have any spare change?
me: no, get a fuckin job...

 

I am the way.

Namaste

 

the government just told me to think that you're a moron
ohhh wait- whats that government?!
they also said to say you're a jackass and should return to your padded room and come up with a better gimmick...
I personally would recommend studying trailer park rasta's work, he's done wonders around here.

 

What everyone needs to understand is that we are all Jesus. I just happen to be 'The Original."

The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

No death, no fear.

 

Oh ye of LITTLE FAITH. Go ahead, throw all the stones you can muster, I will not attack you if that's what you want me to do.

Fear leads to hate

It OWNS you.

 

just don't think this would be something that would come out of ol' JC's mouth....
tell me exactly what i need to hear oh wise one

 

Forget it.

 

I have no fear, I have no hate, only sympathy and concern for those who can't accept they are nothing more than a common human being...no more special than the rest of us.