Just a question, nothing big

^^ yepper and I was gonna quote him too but I deleted it. Nice analogy, sooo true.

The time when I'm the coolest is when I'm alone, which is often so I get hit on so often enough I don't even see it as flattery but rather cos I don't have a buddy system going for me.

Think of it, a girl with a bf or in a group is not very approachable but a lone female oh now that's an easy target and he thinks, wishfully "I could make her less lonely". As if equating alone with loneliness which is incorrect, I'm my own best company, I prefer being alone.

So I've taken to giving men the cold shoulder alot but at times I'm in a good mood and feel like chatting it up with whoever and it really sux that some guys gotta take it the wrong way. Well back to the cold shoulder routine... so not fun. Tis easier being myself when I have a protector=bf.

Some guys have commented critically about my cold behavior, oh well. OP if you were to have it your way the world would be a very cold place and back to an era where women don't ever smile at men unless she's Mona Lisa, I thought we progressed from that.

 

Being friendly isnt flirting, its being friendly
Im friendly with everyone i meet

 

Smiling when you make eye contact? Jeez, what do you WANT us to be like? I thought that was just plain old politeness and should be done by everyone

 

I dunno, it's just that some smiles have that kind of special warmness that it's very easy to misundertand...You're all making me look desperate and i'm not.

 

i think you're frustrated for sure. but i think it's unreasonable for you to expect us to shut down and act cold for your own convenience. i understand your frustration, i've been there, too. actually in a much more painful situation. i had a roomate that i had a crush on forever. and she'd kiss me and grope me and make out with me, but she just did it for the guys. that hurt, once i realized what she was doing. THAT'S wrong. but being friendly? nah.

 

Look, rapping this up...Last question. You're all saying that hugging and touching is all part of being friendly...Ok, I get it. Now, if all that is just being friendly, what is to be flirtatious??? See where I'm going?? So, a girl can practically grope me and just being friendly, haha, I don't wanna know what will she do if she's flirting.

Well, thanks to all.

 

what do you mean by groping? if i'm into someone and they so much as touch my shoulder, i'm liable to get REALLY turned on.

 

Sorry...I'm not a native speaker, I thought that "groping" was like touching in a more decisive way, is it?

 

Well it depends how well you know eachother, the peoples personalities etc, and of course how you interpret it. You have to learn to get it right, it can be tricky. But very very generally:

Friendliness: Making eye contact, smiles, laughs at jokes, makes conversation, touches, hugs, light kisses depending on your kind of friendship and where you live. Even big hugs and big compliments etc if your friendhsip is strong, or if they just happen to be a very warm person! I personally would be offended if friends DIDNT do some or many of these things. Its plain rude. Theyre just making conversations go smoothly. Its people skills.

Flirting, id say, involves some sexual involvement or innuendo, sometimes dressing up and making a special effort for the person, groping (as in touching genitals or rubbing upwards on your leg!) Verbal suggestions theyre interested sexually in you or a very obvious look up and down

As i said it changes person to person so its hard to give guidelines. But any of the things i classed as flirting id say could be an indication, whereas the other things i would brush off, unless youre getting special vibes from the person

Basically it sounds like you just know some good friendly women

 

groping is a grab at body parts in a distinctly sexual manner. if someone is groping you, that's just rude. but it someone touches your hand to get your attention, or your shoulder, gives you a hug, that's totally different.

 

Ok thanks.

 

oh hang on, what country are you from? and where are you living now?
the reason I'm asking you is that you don't seem at all clued up on social interactions, in some countries, women are seen as more submissive to men, is it possible that you have come from a community like this and aren't used to the way that women are communicating where you are now?
S

 

I'm from Uruguay, and women aren't so forward as in other countries, they're more old fashioned. Of course there are plenty of special cases...

 

yeah, it's just a different way here. we american women are very forward.

 

I take it your now in the states?
I think it would be advisable to sit down with a female friend and have a candid conversation about body signals and conversation, because at the moment you are at a very real risk of offending someone by misreading the signals
S

 

Seems paradise to me, and no, I'm actually living in Uruguay, since I was 8. I'm originally from Italy, long story.

 

i'm sure it's fascinating. but women are learning that we need to grab at life with both hands. we're sick of being quiet and shy. life is too uncertain and no one is going to live life for us.

 

I know what you're saying, but for an entire culture to evolve, it takes time...

 

not so much time as you would think. it can take just a single generation, with the right catalyst.

 

well i don't really know whats going on, but from the things you have said, you haven't really given any evidence that women are flirting with you.
you make sweeping statements about all women in relationships and all single women.
they can't all be flirting with you and leading you on.

it sounds like your seeing women in a purely sexual light, of 'shes available' and 'she isn't'
S