Is Romantic Love Dead?

Romantic love is not dead but sometimes it goes into hiding.

 

Why do people associate love with marriage?

It's not like when divorce rates were lower, people loved more.

 

Yes it does still exist. I hope.

 

No, never. Romatic love will always live.

 

Excellent point

 

I would actually say, romantic love never existed.

It's a hyperbole, but for the sake of this discussion I think the point has to be made.

Love is not an idea ---.

 

I have been divorced twice. I think love exists, but I think that romantic/sexual fascination, possessiveness, jealousy, gratification, projection and codependence often gets mistaken for love.

Love is a process, and a decision. Love does not necessarily equate to commitment, though, and I think that's what you are referring to. Love can exist without committment, and committment can last without love. Ideally, however, a long-term monogamous romantic relationship would include a conscious effort to develop, maintain, and expand both love and committment.

I also think that the "till death do us part" expectation puts a pressure and unrealistic implication on a relationship that can actually be damageing, and have the ultimate effect of shortening the life of the relationship. I think that relationships have a better chance of a long, healthy life if they are approached as a daily committment with long-term (ideally life-long) goals. Relationships are as alive and growing (and therefore changing) as the people in them. When a relationship is expected to crystalize and last "forever" in a certain form or circumstance, then it attaches an unrealistic expectation on the relationship that is ultimately self-destructive, and does more to add to the divorce rate than preserve marriages.

 

I am still very much in-love with my husband. There are dry spells where it's not romantic all the time and I'm okay with that but to look at ourselves as a whole....I love him more today than I did when I met him.


Remember that feeling when you'd be with the person you loved and then when you weren't with them you ached for them and couldn't wait till the next time you were together again? I read something recently that said that feeling is because of the pheromones are connecting on a chemical level and that your body really does feel that loss because the pheromone connection is separated.

I'm not downplaying love. I know it's real but I felt that lil' tid bit was interesting.

 

If more people viewed love as an action word instead of a feeling, marriages/loves would last longer.

 

I agree.

They could possibly last forever.

Love is a huge word. It is to me anyway. I see how much Bill loves me just by the things he does for me. Going to work and making sure we are secure is one of them. I can see the love in the way he takes care of so many other areas in our marriage.

 

Too many folks think love is just sittin there feeling something. It's like, are you friggin serious?? Grow the f... up.

Love is a huge word. HUGE word.

 

well put!

 

funny how people are getting all fired up about what love is or isn't

love is personal

 

i agree...

 

I think the same reason that Wall Street is failing is the same reason many marriages end in divorce

Young people are pressured to get married and buy a house in their early 20's and/or when they aren't sure what they are getting into

it should change

 

Agreed!:cheers2:

 

it is absolutely personal. my heart gets so full sometimes....and I love everyone soooooooooo much...

 

well I wouldnt go so far as to say that.

 

the 'everyone' stretches it, doesn't it?

 

Fuck if I know