Is Marriage Just Crap ?

It's for grown ups. Not for kids.

 

A saying I love... "The ultimate human tragedy is the most important decisions you will ever make in your life, come at a time you are the least capable of making them."
That is so true.
Beginning in the 1980's our society has revolved around youth; older folks are dismissed. Their ideas and opinions are judged as outdated and inapplicable to today's society.
Therefore a whooole lot of young people are making lousy life choices with no one more experienced and far wiser helping them along.

True that.

 

It's really really REALLY hard. Humans are inherently selfish and it requires sacrificing every day, not getting your way, not being treated the way you would like or think you deserve for long periods of time. In the West we're told every day we're entitled to get what we want when we want how we want and anyone who doesn't make us feel amazing all the time should be cut out of our lives.
But it's totally worth it if you marry your best friend and are committed to it for life. You just have to kill yourself a little bit each day.

 

Most human beings were not meant to be nonogamous their entire lives. Furthermore people meet each other to learn and teach each other what they need in life without even knowing it. Marriage is both a religion and government based institution. Live together if you wish and live one day at a time. If he or she says goodbye, tell them thank you for their time and move on. We are all pure consciousness going through a period of humananity. Enjoy you body without restriction.

 

It's just a piece of paper....why bother? If you want to be with one another then great....but the minute u have that stupid little piece of paper and you 2 decide things aren't working out.....then it's a big shit storm of a mess and a shit load of wasted money.

 

Marriage is crap, but so is life. What are you going to do?

 

Life is wonderful and you can have a husband or wife without getting married. Husband and wife is a state of mind in my eyes. It's what you call each other when girlfriend boyfriend starts sounding silly because you've been together ten years.

 

Partner or significant 'other' come readily to mind, but no doubt there are other terms too.

 

Sure. Or husband and wife.

 

This sounds very crazy to some but I considered myself married/bonded to the Divine (my other perfect transparent self) and any wife or girlfriend I may experience for a short time or a lifetime is just that, an experience. We help each other thru this human existence and meanwhile we fuck and suck each other quite a bit and discuss sex experiences a lot on HF. My girl and I are playing house, I never grew up.

 

typically after 10 years it's asshole and nag.

 

I'm sincerely sad that many people have such a bad view of long term love : (

 

if you're referring to me, i was just making a joke.

long term love actually sounds ideal. unfortunately 6 months is about as long as anyone's willing to put up with my shit.

 

MANY people : )
You included. I know it was a joke but these jokes are usually implied to have some truth to them.

And aw. I don't know you well enough to know what shit becomes unbearable after six months, but you seem okay to me. It's them, not you.

 

even my anthropology professor does. he showed us how humans and most mammals, including our closest relatives, are all designed to have many short-term relationships. the long-term players are only anomalies of nature. it's not a bad thing, just our nature.

he was married for 40 years.

 

I agree with your professor. I'm not cynical about long term relationships at all and I think they're entirely possible with commitment and dedication, but I dont think humans are naturally geared towards lifelong monogamy

 

there's a course on the sociology of relationships that I just cannot begin to warm up for. It's not required for anything and I'm not shooting for a degree, but it's there in all it's glory. I just can't get excited about it though. I think that relationships have too low a success rate personally. I'm selfish I guess.

 

Having offspring that take so long to reach maturity seems a good motivation for long term relationships, if co parenting is the aim. I don't even want kids but I do aim for long term love. That may, or may not mean long term monogamy. The two things aren't synonymous.

It's funny how when it suits us, we compare ourselves to other mammals.. Then other times we hold "being human" as something high above and different from them. To be honest, where we came from evolutionarily doesn't mean much to me when I look to where I think we should go.

Love is just a biological chemical way of making us care for our offspring and tribe. Love is also a spiritual experience which we can create meaning from. The time spent with one person can be something deeper than is possible if we keep starting over. That doesn't mean anyone who wants to do it that way is wrong.. But why do we make jokes we do about the anomalies?

Because secretly we know they experience a closeness many of us don't, and we envy it? Maybe : )

 

It seems to me it's like you're saying; biological and chemical. For me it's about trusting someone with your feelings. It's emotional. They will support you and all of that stuff.