Is it wrong that I prefer the company of straight dudes?

well she was a stranger at some point, no? she wasn't born into your family was she? lol. besides you said you met her and immediately after said she couldn't believe a guy of any sexuality wouldn't want to do her. the two statements were placed close to one another and you didn't elaborate on it.

that's the thing, you saw it toward the end of your friendship (consequently). i tend to see through these things right from the start. it would have been obvious to me if she was sexually interested or not, if she had an agenda other than what she would let on. i'm not infallible, there are people i can't read that well, but in general i tend to be aware of this. and i don't waste my time in trying to persuade people to one thing or another. if they don't get it the first time they tend to never get it and who am i to tell them what to do anyway. so i would have either had to continue the friendship or cut it. in either case i would have cut it and done it way sooner than you. this is a theoretical estimation of how i would have reacted had i been in an analogous situation based on how i know myself to behave in life and with people. in reality i probably wouldn't even have made it past the 'strange-waitress stage', since i don't connect with women at all.

good for you. i'm not saying your experience was pointless. even the negative experiences have their worth and sense. it's an experience, good or bad, but not pointless. but the thing is, i am that cold bastard most of the time. i'm aware of it. that's where my hypothesis i-would-have-cut-her-off-immediately is springing from. we're two different people, you and i.

 

Well, I wouldn't have known anything about that, but I can't say that it surprises me at all really. Eh, remarks about tuna? What have lesbians got to do with tuna? lol

At the end of the day, anything negative that women can do, men can do also, and vice versa. Neither gender has a monopoly on any personality trait, be they good or bad.

Hehe, thanks! I do think it's awesome how you haven't allowed that very negative experience with a former female "friend" (which you've been talking about in your last few posts) to make you stereotype and generalise the female gender.

 

im baffled that this is still a topic.

 

Absolutely nothing.

It was just an insensitive remark made about any woman (gay or straight) that came into the bar. Also, it was usually said by some drunken gay dude that clearly had serious issues with women in general. I mean, I never got a whiff of any female smelling like fish or tuna?

And many sat right beside me. Actually, they smelled quite nice. :sunny:

QP

 

For some reason my mother loves the company of gay lads. Probably she is a dyke. I think I almost caught her smooching with a girl in a buch haircut, and wonder if she is somehow sorry that I am strait.

 

It seems that it's very complicated and stressfull to be gay. All these catagories and whatnot. I don't mean the stress of coming out--I mean it sounds like very strong emotions are just below the surface of everyday living. Maybe I misread,not having gone through what you folks go through. It has been said that "people become what they hate". May relate--may not.

 

i don't see it that way at all. all these categories, etc, i think that has to do with the fact that the younger generations are going through some sort of identity crisis, or they want a special unique identity for themselves. identifying with being gay is no longer enough, you need something else to set you apart from other gays. that's the way i interpret this. a lot of gays categorize themselves with words i have no idea what they even mean, and i personally find the whole thing ridiculous.

i don't experience having strong emotions below the surface of everyday living, as you put it. the worst thing about being gay, in my opinion, is the fact that the number of possible sexual partners is considerably smaller than for the heterosexual guys. sometimes i meet a guy, we connect, i'd love to develop something more, but he is straight. nothing i can do about it but suck it up. that is the only seriously negative thing about being gay.

 

Yeah. OK. Maybe like anything else in life,what I said applies for some and not others. Probably shouldn't infer too much about this ,being as I'm not gay. I do have a 51 year old lesbian daughter, and she is a happy well adjusted person,for which I'm glad.

 

Right on. :2thumbsup:

I once wrote an essay about how straight people might feel if they could not get married. But my main point was how gay/bi/ trans folks are not allowed to openly show love and affection in public. :-(

Yeah, it's pretty stressful when you might get spit upon, or worse.

Matthew Shepard is a prime example.


That's why so many gay folks have no choice but to express their love in the dark.

Society is sound asleep.

QP

 

I empathize. I don't know why it makes any differance how people express themselves. But obviously,it does for WAY too many. AS I said in a prior post--I found it extremely weird that the police would come in a lesbian bar and arrest some of the women for being dressed in mens clothing. I tried to question them about it and was warned in the strongest of terms that I was going to jail if I didn't shut my pie hole. Ahhh--it's a strange world.

 

Ah, so it's that they (those gay men) think that women smell like fish? Okay, that's news to me! lol

It does amaze me when people in oppressed minority groups are themselves prejudiced against other groups of people for no real reason. You would think they would know better, being oppressed themselves. But nope... gay men, lesbians, and trans people can be just as narrow minded, and prejudiced as some hetero/non-trans people are. I guess humans in general, are just a horrible species... no wonder I steer clear of them!

 

You are a brave and ethical pioneer

Before Stonewall, it was literally a hell on earth to be openly gay/lesbian.

Things are a bit better since. :2thumbsup:

But we still got a long way to go. That's why people like you make me so grateful. You are one special dude. Big time. :sunny:

QP

 

This will forever remain a mystery to me.

Yes, one would think that oppressed minority groups might understand and appreciate each other.

But this sadly is not the case.

I have been called a faggot by more than one African American dude.

I guess it's just a twisted form of sexism?

Hell, I don't blame you for steering clear of the human race.

The world has gone totally insane.

QP

 

It is something that makes me have even less faith in humanity, if that's possible. It's perplexing that people who really should know better, can be so discriminating to other types of people. It is a total myth that all gay guys like to have women around, and prefer to have them as friends. Although I did know that was not the case, I was still a bit taken aback by your experiences of how negatively some gay men see and treat women in gay bars.

I do find it depressing, I have to say. It really is mystifying to me when some people in minority groups can be so critical and prejudiced towards other people.

Well, I've often heard that the plight of black people cannot be compared and likened to the struggle of gay people, as black people are born that way and had no choice over the colour of their skin. I of course, completely disagree with that point of view, but I have heard a number of people saying that when someone compares the struggle faced by homosexuals, to the struggle faced by black people. To me, it totally is comparable.

Nah, the world has always been insane... though it seems that the more things change, the more they stay the same. I don't think the human race has evolved as much as some would like to believe. Although being alone all the time can be hard sometimes, I am constantly reminded of why I stay away from people. I'd take cats, and indeed most animals over people any day. lol

 

I totally agree.

This "choosing to be gay" nonsense is just that: Nonsense.

I was born gay. In the same way that black folks are born as they are.

But some will forever continue to see it as a choice or a lifestyle. Plus the sexual aspect is something that makes many folks uncomfortable. That's when religion and morals start to cloud any kind of rational thinking.

And that's when the bigotry begins.

It would be awesome if ALL minorities could have a little bit of empathy for each other?

But it would seem like most people cannot see beyond their own differences, and what separates them from the majority.

And I think this weakens humanity more than making us stronger.

Anyway, I totally get what you are saying.

QP

 

I just dont believe any of that stuff anymore.

Joan of Arc was executed supposedly for heresy - by the enemy, basically a whole bunch of old crusty, stuffy military commanders and church leaders she would have made complete fools out of. Its not like the history books, especially written by the enemy are going to say what is the actual truth - We executed her to salvage our sensitive little male egos and damaged pride

After the retrial, artists commission to paint her where told to make her appearance far more feminine. Whilst running around as a 16 yr old she would wear male clothing pretty much all the time. On occasions, out loud to everyone else, the reason she would give was to avoid the sexuall advances of men, but that sounds like saying what she is supposed to say, the real reason might have been, she was just more comfortable.

But we are talking about a 16 yr old that was running around, telling supposedly wise men up to 4 times her age what to do, kicking a whole lot of ass. The 100 years war was failing cos the french were using defensive tactics, she came along basically said, heres an idea, a good offense is the best defense, i.e had more balls than those commanders, and they started winning.

Chick would have been butch as.

Not that being butch necessarily means she was a lesbian. But especially after she was cannonized, the way history has been twisted, her image altered, grown up thinking she was such and such.

If we could invent a camera that travels through time, see what she actually looked like, how she really behaved, would it stick out instantly? But god forbid catholics acknowledging one of their patron saints wore comfortable shoes


Look through the history of pretty much any civilization not based on one of the abrahamic religions, and bisexuality at least was common place, and most of the time ceremonial. Even with the abrahamic religions, still more of a case of everyone kind of knows but doesnt say anything.

My beloved city of Sydney, first 120 years is littered with stuff like having to send over convict ships of women, shifting prisons and / or prisoners to help prevent "unnatural crimes". Almost as much buttsex going on in 1812 than 2012.

All the love letters that popped up between guys in the American Civil war, War of Indepebdance, All the British conflicts, the Boer war. What happens in the trenches stays in the trenches.

Being illegal or not, wouldnt have made as much a difference as most assume. For the real world rules still apply, if its a guy (or girl) bigger than you, stick worry about getting your ass kicked, or linked to it for the mere attempt of trying to accuse someone - well how do you know?, why are you so interested. Keep quiet with the scarier versions. And male especially the chics are still going to pretend they dont see anything - thats what would have protected Oscar Wilde, oh he's such a debonair gentleman. As was the case with your fatal attraction, she refused to believe it sort of. What would have protected Byron and Shelley, oh, they are such a refined aristocratic couple, that cant be true. He's such a romantisist, such a dream boat.


The world is pretty much the way its always been. History filtered cos basically we dont want to explain to their kids what Bert and Ernie get up to in private time anymore than they do, or that its the guy that had his hand up Elmo thats the type they really have to watch out for

 

the world is how it's always been. and people don't have to like everybody else. it doesn't even make sense to indiscriminately care about everybody on this planet. we have people who we let into our inner circle and the rest are just a background noise. that's how it is and that's how it's always been. it's basic human nature.