in way over my head

The pathologic liar is an added element folks that you are learning about now along with me.

 

Truth

 

Holy crap! I see you are really capable of great levels of wit. I will make a note to never engage in a battle of such with you.

 

Good decision

 

meh. you lost to another lady it would seem. She was there 1st, and a lot longer, if this makes you feel better.

Simple as that. I think he was being honest with you when he said "hey..this is great and all, but I really like this other person."

 

I lost and it was painful. Im over it now. He and are in touch and just yesterday i consoled him over the phone because was weepy going through his daughters stuff as he closes escrow on the sale of his house.

 

Well, I've chosen to keep my comments out of this mess, but I am happy to see you and your husband have done the right thing and decided to go your own separate ways. I truly think that is the best option for all involved and wish all of you nothing but luck. I just hope throughout it you both can retain respect from your children because no one should have to be the bad guy in a divorce (as far as the offspring is concerned) if the kids are still taken care of and loved by both parents.

 

This is why I said the stuff I did, I wasn't trolling except that I came across as not having respect the female gender as a whole. Which I do.

But this 'lady' represents everything that is wrong with so many females, and to me symbolizes the amount of heartbreak I've gone through because of callous, self serving women who use their pussy to try to control men.

And then blame everything on the man.

It's not even the fact she has had affairs I'm judging. People make mistakes. It's her self righteous and remorseless attitude surrounding those affairs and her failed marriage.

Now she is going to be badmouthing her husband to the kid, classic parental alienation.

 

Ive been very accountable for the bad side of me. You are just too over reacting to even recognize it.

Not ever badmouthing. My son has eyes and wisdom and is often disappointed or frustrated by his dad. But they each love each other very much and that is why i opted to not break up the marriage.

 

I'm remaining neutral on all counts.
Even a divorce court would require the views as seen from both parties.
It may not be intentional, but your own view, as you see it, is bound to be biased. That's not an accusation of any sort. It's something that has to be expected.

 

I probably overreacted in the sense that I said what I was thinking rather than turning on the filter. Which made me come across in a bad way.

But my overreaction doesn't diminish the things you have done that could've been handled differently. And you know that, otherwise you wouldn't be 'bragging' about it and seeking validation in a sense.

I hope everything works out for you and all parties involved. And if you want my advice, just be their for your kid. In other words, don't stop being a mother because you are now free from your marital shackles.

 

Not that you are going to be like this, calgirl, but:

Don't ever, ever, ever use your son as a way to hurt your ex husband. Don't talk bad about him, don't lie about him, don't say anything unnecessarily hurtful.

Just be kind and loving and supportive.

 

Through it all folks, being a mother has meant more than any of it. I've lacked joy in my marriage. Maybe I'm out searching too hard using controversial methods, but I'm finally living again.

 

A gymnastic coach I know told me that if I am not falling down I am not trying hard enough to learn. If life is about finding out who we are and what path to take then it is a given some wrong turns will be taken but they all eventually lead to where you need to be. Great to hear that life is on the upswing

 

Gymnastic Coach? Sounds more like a Guru.

 

Thanks....it'll be an interesting ride.

 

This other woman can offer him something you can't: she's free to move in with him now. You're still married.

He likes sex with you and appreciates you as a friend, but he doesn't love you, or simply doesn't see a life with you, whereas he can envision it with her.

Our feelings are mysterious and difficult to understand and explain... and to change.

It was a FWB only in his mind. It sounds as it was never something else. And now he can have the woman he really loves, even the sex with you isn't interesting enough to him to maintain.

It's hard. Wish you a quick recover from this one.

 

I'm rather surprised by all the rude, judgmental posts, especially when you asked for those people to keep opinions to themselves.

Most those people though seem to hinting at the idea that a FWB relationship has different rules than a traditional relationship.

I'm a much younger man, so it's hard to really see things from his perspective, but it sounds to me like you caught in the trap of the emotionally unavailable male. Men are governed by irrationality. Sometimes were attracted to women in such a powerful way that that takes precedence over all other relationships. I've dealt with this in the past, where I was casually seeing several people I really liked, but deep down was still trying to make it work with one specific woman.

It's dangerous to get involved with a such a man because you never know where you stand. You sound like a nice woman and it seems like this man likes and respects you, but simply wants this other woman more. Don't look at it as an indictment of yourself. It's more of an indictment of him and his own issues. Don't waste time comparing yourself to her, it will only make you more angry.

Enjoy your friendship, and maybe even work it to something like a threeway or something sexually adventurous, if that's your sort of thing. Otherwise stay confident and keep up the searches for someone best for you

 

I refused to read all 16+ pages of this thread. All I had to do was read this 1st post. What do you expect. You were nothing more than a piece of ass for this guy. Even if the signs were there, you had no desire to see them. How's it feel to be "the other women" this time? Hurts, doesn't it?

 

Got to wonder why someone would drudge up this old thread as their first post on the site?