I'm "That Guy".

girls arent interested in men with cars and money, only shallow ones, its really cool that your so smart and if you do have Ausbergers, then so what? like everyone said, you just need to not be so hard on yourself, and you seem like you just have a low self esteem, and if your not social, and you want to be, then drop the paper and go talk to the friends you have made, and create a social life if thats what you want, if your lonely, then spend time with your friends. I watched a movie that was really good about a man with Ausbergers and he created a group for other ppl with autism, and its a really great love story, its called Mozart and the Whale, i love that movie. if you havent seen it, you should rent it, its really good! but anyways, do you think that you may have social anxiety? i used to be really distant from everyone at school, it took me a few friends to get me out of my shell, and im very thankful for that.

 

I've been in your sitatuon before and the only thing I have to say to you is don't believe the stereotypes of what girls see in a guy. As soon as I did that, the number of friends (that are girls) grew exponentially.

 

When you notice a girl you like, just make it possible to get into a conversation with her... like if you're in the cafeteria and you both are getting food, get in line behind her. Then make eye contact, smile, and say something nice and not creepy about her, like if she's in a class of yours you can ask her "Hey, you're in my [[science or whatever]], aren't you?" Don't be really deep or heavy at first. Eventually just ask her to do something, even if it's just going to a park or something free. Since you're really passionate about that specific thing, you shouldn't be pining over a girl you have nothing in common with. Make sure you're compatible and it will work better. Also, if she's as shy as you are, make sure you take that into account and don't feel rejected right away if she doesn't respond as you would like.

 

Hey Coffee/Addict. This is a very cool post thanks for sharing. I've spent a lot of time working with those with developmental disabilities, some in the autism range, and I've been diagnosed with a slew of different things myself from ADD to bi-polar OCD... some of that stuff. And above all you're fine just the way you are. A lot of people might not get you or what you're about but some people will. Just be who you are... cause I'm guessing you really can't do anything else. And everything will fall into place. It can be a gift as much as anything else and enjoy the fact that your world is different. It's a wonderful contribution that you are who you are.

 

I think you just need to make a bit more effort socialising, try and talk to people who have similar interests to you and maybe you'll make a few more friends and meet a girl you have something in common with. I use to be very shy when i was younger, never dared approach anyone but i got really fed up of my own company and forced myself to talk to other people and im glad i did it built up my confidence.

 

They wont be laughing when you create some sweet ass physics based robot and you get all the sexy scientist ladies

 

Very true, I have noticed that over time generally the most popular careless and mean people drop to the bottom of the barrel where they stay and rot until they die of old age in a gutter somewhere.

As you jump through all of life's hoops (middle school, high school, college, graduate studies, etc...) the people you are surrounded by become more and more similar to you. These industries tend to weed out most of the insensitive people and just in general the people that won't make good relationship material. The people in these places will have similar interests and probably similar drives and backgrounds to you so finding a good match becomes easier.

Although, on the other hand, if your interested in having a fling or something other than a long term relationship then by all means appeal to the lesser crowd with expensive cars, looks, etc...

College is a strange place. Especially freshman year first semester college. I've had girls I don't even know come past my door at 3 or 4 am while I was studying that wanted sex. If you just want sex or to mess around then I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how easy it is in college! Especially if you drink a little and go to some parties.

 

Snipaz - What you say is so true...in junior high school and high school, your classmates are random people who happen to live in your section of town (unless you go to an exclusive prep school). When you get to college, especially an exclusive college, you are surrounded by people who are smart, energetic, usually well adjusted people who are on a path of future success in life. And when you get to grad school (in my case a top law school), you are really associating with the cream of the crop in your future field. The first two people I met in my first year law school class were Rhodes Scholars...

You can go back and see the high school football players/bullies, who now are fat and bald with bad knees, at your high school reunions.

And your chances of finding a good mate at such colleges and grad schools are good. You may not marry them then, but you may seek them out later on in life when you are ready to marry.

 

May I say that you sound like a perfectly lovely young man. If you can use that sharp mind of yours to realize that you need to stop worrying about life for a little while, and let it happen. It sounds contrite, and possibly not helpful, but Go Outside. Look at the Stars! Breath that crisp air. Close your eyes, imagine some happiness. It will come to you. Believe it. And, before you know it, you are going to be rolling wildly through the covers with someone who loves you for who you are! And talking each others ears off. It's going to happen dude...I'm ancient enough to know this to be true. Climbing Chomolungma ain't easy either, but people do it all the time, and you are going to go out and climb that mountain of fear and self-doubt, which I personally think are simply hallmarks of your youth, and the view is going to be glorious....Much love!
ps I love coffee too, but you may want to lay off of it a bit, or hang out in a coffee-house, great place to meet the goilies!

 

Making and maintaining eye contact is the key to most conversations. And guys who get nervous around girls tend to look elsewhere, handicapping a conversation from the get go.

 

hey man the first thing i want to say is good luck and that if you truly are smart which i believe you are then you can make some friends
think of it like a math equation if you may

i once had a realtionship with this one guy who was pretty socially awkward
i dont mean to toot my own horn but (im in high school) and i went to this summer college math and science program where i met some others high school students who were really brillant and i was really normal and stuff compared to them but sorry so i had a relationship with this one guy who was pretty socially awkward and stuff and i think you just have to try and put yourself out there
i was really attracted to adam because he was so brilliantly smart and although he didnt always get social stuff he tried and yea i miss him hmmm

good luck man but basically you cant be any worse off for trying