Im honestly.

Dillgaf, i succed to you. FUCKING FIX ME. Tell me what will fix the void, i will listen if you actually have anything to say... tell me.

HIT ME WITH YOUR TRUTH OR GTFO.

 

first and foremost

no one can fix you but you...

understand that and make the decision to fix you

then


find a book called "radical forgiveness". Read it through the first time but dont expect to understand it. Read it through a second time and follow what it says , do the exercises in the book. Thats a good start

you do that n then i will give you the next step..

good luck to you

 

not a good way to get someone to listen, seriously, long years of people ignoring me have taught me that condescending, and being irascible are more likely to get combat than compliance.

I don't really care, this is actually a proxy for what I've been trying to tell my brother in law, nephew won't listen because he thinks he has absolute authority just because, and you and HHB are kinda pulling the same thing, and it's just irritating, ANY other day I totally just would have ignored this exchange, so, it's not you I am irritated with, it's general ridiculous adults.

 

Geez i new your partner was a preacher but i guess i could've figured you were one to... so you have nothing to actually tell me? ok GTFO,

Why arent you in love?

P.S. while im at it why dont i read the bible, Qu'uran, or Oprahs book of the month, unorginal bitch.

 

because what works for your worldview, and sends you in the direction you want to go is right for anyone else?

 

Damn that reminds me I need to work on my steps.

 

i told you read the book i mentioned i swear to god it will help you out. I would not recommend it if i didnt think it would help you tremendously. I used this book when i was about your age and going through some very rough times in my life, I hated myself i hated my family and hated just about everyone else. I am not going into the details on here because you are not listening brother.. Simple as that you are not ready to help yourself.

You need to forgive yourself and forgive those that have done wrong unto you . This doesnt mean forget , just forgive
You say you want advice and that book is some of the best advice i can offer i will even send you the damned thing if you would like it.

This is serious brother , you need to forgive. until you do no other healing of yourself can take place. It simply masks it and confounds it thus making it a more difficult task in the end.

Your experiences are what have made you into what you are. Plain and simple no bullshit here . No matter what you do it is not going to change. It is the past. It has been done. Now you need to take it embrace it luv it hug it do whatever the fuck you need to do , then accept it and let it go. It really is that simple.

 

I recommend it because it can help. Have you read the book? Until you have done so please STFU

 

I didn't intend to be judgmental, my mistake was that I was trying to help. It didn't immediately occur to me that the last thing you were interested in was help. I will not enable... and it struck me that this was likely what you were looking for. I could detail all my galloping tales of woe but alas I've lost the opportunity to cash in on the emotional windfall by getting past them. Maybe it helped me that as I grew up there was nobody the least bit interested in indulging my sob story saga which left me with no choice beyond either letting it consume me or getting over it.

My history has acquainted me with the dynamics of substance abuse and alcoholism. A major factor in these phenomena is the act of enabling.. that is in one way or another creating an environment that shelters and protects if not outright abets in the self abuse through substance or booze. I see this as not a far "cry" from that type of behavior where your substance is self pity and you're looking to surround yourself with an insulating layer of indulgence. I like you Xac, and the least I can do for you is to not enable this problem to continue.

 

forgiving yourself isn't a solution. it is a stop gap.

it is feelgood bullshit.

there are a thousand, thousand temporary methods to feel better. (a million, but it's just more verbally dramatic to say one thousand thousand)

but that's not fixing the problem

great, just keep jury rigging your psyche until you die, there are enough solutions to make it, absolutely great idea!

 

I luvvvvv you stinkfoot... well said...

 

no where did i say it would fix the problem. I said it was a step....

and i truly disagree with " it isnt a solution" because it truly is a major part of being ok with who and what we are which ultimately is what this entire thread is about...

 

You and HHB pretend that your words weigh too much. I like you stinkfoot i do, i often dont see the world the same as you but i appreciate that we can see things differently and still get along.

 

I love you Dave.

 

Yet you'll still be surprised if i call you a judgmental bitch, bizzare...

 

Stinkfoot and Dilligaf have actually been giving you very heart felt answers and responses. I wish you could hear it in the way they mean it, instead of getting upset with them.

I really hope that you feel better in the morning. Again, I have been there too.

Forgiveness really is key. If you are reading your Bible, as you were hoping to do, listen to Jesus's words. He taught forgiveness and love. He brought compassion and forgiveness as an offering that the people had not recieved so powerfully.

Please don't feel they were being condescending with that answer. Then again, as Bella said(wonderfully by the way) we are all at different stages. Believe me, people got irritated with all of us as we sat in our hours of darkness too!

 

i wasn't going to say anything since i got here too late and my point is relatively insignificant, but since the thread was bumped anyway...

i was just going to mention that when i'm going through a period of depression, getting drunk only exacerbates it. that is all :leaving:

 

i've only read the first 3 pages...

i have no clue...absolutely no clue if i was sexually abused in any way- the possibility is there, very small - but i'm not 100% positive i wasn't until i'm able to fully unlock what is in my head...i do know for a fact my sister was raped on a weekly basis (friday nights by the babysitter)

i wasn't able to protect her...thats my guilt. i live with it and its not going to go away. however, i make the choice to live my life for the future now. i make the choice to be happy. i make the choice to not live through my past

 

I noticed after I posted that it was a bump. Oopsie!

And I am in total agreement undies.

Fitzy...I didn't know you had bits of your memory lost as well. Doesn't it suck!

 

there are no words I could say, or that could be useful. but, I am sorry about what happened.