i'm cheating on my boyfriend....

No need to be a bitch. I've never even been in a relationship. It's just you can't even answer the question.

The same goes with friends. I'm really fucking good friends with A, so if i go hang out with my other really fucking good friend V, without letting A know, i'm supposed to feel guilty about that? No, of course not.

But who's not to say that my friends A and V aren't a timeless and intimate friendship? Even love?

Who's to say that A and/or V aren't girls? Or who's to say that A and/or V aren't guys and i'm a bisexual?

Where do you draw the line? Me and A have both talked about sex. So have me and V. That's ok.

What if me and A and/or V lived together? We get changed in front of each other. One day, one of them walks in on me masturbating. Hell, soon we end up having sex with each other. And we've had a timeless and intimate connection before and after the sex.

I'm supposed to feel guilty about any of this?

I suppose the important piece of the puzzle is the consent part of it? Why consent though? i don't need consent from V to hang out with A, i don't need consent from V to talk about sex with A, i don't need consent from V to wrestle with A, so why do i need consent from V to have sex with A?

So relationships are defined by sex then?

 

A relationship is defined by those that are in it.

As long as you are open and honest about what you are doing with everyone and everyone is an adult, then it is only your business.

 

That makes sense^

I don't know, to me Love is about allowing everyone to be exactly as they are. Not trying to change them or force them to do anything.

If i had a girlfriend and she cheated on me i would probably be hurt but it's not like it would change the connection or the Love i have for her. That shit's Timeless and nothing can change that. If you suddenly hate the other person for cheating on you it was never Love in the first place.

But alas, i really don't know what i'm talking about. So i'll shut up.

 

Sigh most of the time people that are getting married don't really love each other, that's why divorce is high. Another reason is the line of communication dies and someone runs off to find someone that they can talk to.

Just because 50% of marriages end in divorce doesn't mean that everyone is going to get divorced. It really depends on how strong the relationship is and how much respect/care you have for the other person.

Just because you don't want a relationship doesn't mean other people don't.

 

No offense, but what is wrong with you

 

It's not that i don't want a relationship, i just don't know what it IS.

Once again, who am i NOT in a relationship with already?

It's not like any of my friends of mine signed some contract with me that officially defined us as best friends. It's just naturally so.

How do relationships even start? By kissing and sex i would imagine? And then, hey do you want to be my girlfriend? Yes! Boom it's official. They are officially "together".

But imagine i'm only pissing people off more and more...

 

You are in a relationship with everyone you know. The relationships being talked about in terms of lovers and life partners are romantic/sexual reltationships.

As for you not loving a person any less for cheating on you, it isn't just about love... you can love someone and not want anything to do with them because of who they choose to be, and besides, what you seem to not grasp, is it's not taking an action like 'going skating' we are talking about when it is cheating... it is deciet and dishonesty with the person(s) that you share your life with. If you can't trust your partner because they lie to you about having sex with other people (something that can directly lead to your death), what can you trust them with?

If you can't trust them, then why would you want to share your life with them?

 

Well, I know there is such a thing as a profound relationship which is different from any average relationship with anyone else... I've had one of these, where you meet and you can actually feel the vibration, and you stay up all night crying in each other's arms, that kind of thing. I fucked that up, though, because I am a fucking idiot.

Still, two people can share an unusual emotional bond that goes beyond mere friendship.

 

That makes sense once again^. Alright i'm really done whoring this thread now. byebye

 

Wait just a minute there girl, you have no right to lash out at all of us now. Granted there were some quite hostile, insensitive reponses - that's who you meet on the Internet. But, you also got quite a bit of good advice from many members here who told you the truth including my own from page 7 of this ever expanding thread.

"...all I can add is my belief that honesty in a relationship is most important and that you failed in that requirement, which I think you know.

So, it is nice that you are sorting things out. I think you should honestly tell your B/F about your indescretions ...

Perhaps you should give up on the ideal of a long-term boyfriend and just go freelance for a while. We older ppl did that in the '70s and it can be rewarding exploring multiple options."

There's an old song that goes something like, "Don't ask me what I think of you - might not give the answer that you want me to."

 

this is exactly what every woman says 2 days before entering a new relationship.

i thought it was mostly for guys who can't get laid.

me.

oh fuck, i think that just changed...

 

When you are younger you tend not to pay to much attention to old people or ever want to think about them having sex

But there are some important lessons to be learned by yourself if you start watching them more closely

Look around you at married couples of all ages, the only time you actually see happily married is if they're still banging each others brains out or the other end of the spectrum they both arent fussed about sex, or both wanted a big family and have a big family, all the rest (the majority) are angry.

Lots and lots of bullshit connected with this subject

 

Work out the math

 

this just seems to be like and episode of "jersey shore"?

as somebody once told me i dont have a lot of freinds in this world so I have to live with myself! when i go to sleep i want a clear mind knowing i have done my damn thing for the day with a clear and clean feeling. you know
the nights are long and cold in this world! i love my wife but even more importantly we love and respect each other,you dont have to live your life like this,the choice is yours!

 

...

 

I've come to the conclusion that I've never cared to begin with.

End.

 

well I guess multiple partners is fine as long as BOTH parties are happy with that situation.

Cheating is pretty rotten, I guess the opening poster is an narcissistic unemployable asshole who is happy getting 'provided for'. I guess your soon to be ex has work and you dont right?

You feel bad seeing the responses to your post that you dont like and now want to kill yourself?...

...I say do it - as Bill Hicks said 'hey the world just got lighter, we just lost a moron'

Lets just hope your partner finds out what a shit you are and gets on with life.

xx

 

Another search for enablers under the cover of asking advice? The people who understand from your boyfriend's perspective are more likely to be lashing out at you. You figured that labeling your infidelity as "free love"- an agenda suggested by where this discussion popped up, you could deftly sidestep any feelings of guilt- but what you've done in reality is to hijack the concept of free love as justification for taking liberties with your boyfriend's trust and now you backtrack and decide that you weren't in love with him... another convenient change of heart .

The best advice I see here is contained in some rather caustic replies. Do I think this automatically makes you a bad person? No, but it puts you in far less distinguished company.

I've gained most by learning from my mistakes so this could be a growth opportunity for you. I think breaking up with your boyfriend is a step in the right direction if that involves a fresh start. You'll often find that in the big picture your best friends were the people aren't afraid to let you know that you fucked up- with the faith that you'll catch on and become a better person for having fallen down, so to speak.

 

How this society evolved, The fate of a couple is decided on the Www.. and it keeps getting smaller...

 

Memi. ya gotta stop taking offense to these losers that think you're the worst person on the planet cause you cheated on one guy. whoop dee fucking doo. life goes on for him AFTER you need to break it off with him. You say you have nothing in common and he doesnt treat you right--do it then. if you dont, you're just in for the drama.

and if this is true about him, im sure he'll have no problem letting you go

Obviously hes not the right guy for you. You need someone who is open to free love and having fun but still keep that strong connection.

a lot of girls cheat because they are not satisfied. A lot of guys cheat to be dicks. Its life.

Break it off. Its not worth the pain continuing