if you could domesticate any animal to be your pet..

i had a dream a couple of months ago, where i was working for some kind of ngo, i think something to do with weather, anyway someone brought a little friend that looked like a miniature hippo, that head butted like a cat, made some kind of sound that was like a purr but not quite the same. he and it were from some other 'alien' world. by miniature i mean small enough to sit in the palm of your hand.

 

An RBKD: Really BIG Komodo Dragon.

 

A clam. Easy to train. For example: "lay there. Don't you move! I said don't move, motherfucker! There--fully trained.

 

Or maybe a Silverback. That'd teach those kids to stay off my lawn!!

 

Already domesticated, but a house trained Jersey cow would be the best!

 

Tyrannosaurus

 

I would domesticate a guinea worm.

I would tie it to a stick and slowly extract it from one of its victims---which is the age old method of removing a guinea worm. You can only remove an inch or so a day because if you remove too much of it, (it can be about 2 - 3 feet in length), it will break off and then slither back into the person's body until it feels safe enough to create another boil from which it sticks its tail out to release eggs into stagnant water. Once I have slowly removed it completely I would domesticate it and keep it as a pet.

But it will need to eat, so occasionally I will invite some one over for weekend, and they will host my guinea worm until it has gained enough sustenance. I will train it to feed quickly and then form a boil, somewhere obvious, like on the face, and then the unsuspecting guest/host will be mortified, but I will come to their rescue, informing them I know how to cure them, and will extract the worm, which will gladly return to me like a puppy dog happily let in from the cold.

Most likely I would have two worms, one of which I will name after a Greek philosopher, and he will have a good worm heart, and actually seem very wise and thoughtful. The other worm will probably have a common name, like Ben, and will be very loyal to me but obviously have an evil, vengeful and protective heart (Protective of me that is). But someone will probably misunderstand the goodness of the good worm and be horrified that it is a guinea worm and kill it by gruesomely squashing all 3 feet of it. I will be very sad and the bad worm will be very angry.

So, you know, guinea worms have hundreds, if not thousands, of babies, so the bad worm will of course generate many offspring which will require many hosts, and of course, I would become angry at the world for the death of my other pet worm, and we would set out for revenge, and that of course would lead to (unlike the movies Willard and Ben which are referenced here) a take over of America, if not the Western hemisphere, if not the world.

SO, there is that...

 

Hmm, maybe a elephant but a mini one