If only the wife participates, can an open marriage succeed long term?

i am happy i found this trend , i know a little where your husband is comeing from , it is in your last post that you say the important things as to what you get out of this for you , i too have told my wife that she is free to play away from home ,and i dontwish to play with other women , it might be nice but i don't have a need as such , but would if the right woman came round , i love my wife more than anything in the world and she is the only woman i have ever had sex with , comeing from a backgroung that looked as sex was bad and my mother used to turn of the tv if anything to do with sex came on tv , i was 5 years going out with my wife before we got married and i was still a virgen at that time . my wife was not and had a bad expercence just before i found her , she had being raped which left her with some very bad stuff that has taken years for her to get over , if my wife does do a little playing it will be just to have a different feeling as she tells me all men are different , go about sex in different ways it is not saying that one is better just different , a bit like haveing the same thing to eat all the time , our kids are away at school and we will not be haveing more , i think if my wife can grow more in hersex life it is good for her and for me , if it can help her to feel more as ease with her sexlife , as she still has hang-ups with sex sence her rape , i dont have the time or the money to give my wife the things she should have in life the best thing i can give her is her freedom i love her dearly she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and if she can get a guy to take her out give her a good time , in and out of bed i am happy for her

i think you will go back to him at some time or if not you will go to another after you have your children , but dont get into the one of allways wondering which is the father of your kids , i have a friend that was haveing an affair for 2 years and it broke up when the woman he was seeing was expecting and they did not know which man was the father ( her husband or the lover )

for my you should only make kids with the man you think is the best dad not have the best dad with the best lovers kid

 

Years too late, but I am in the same position as your husband. My wife has a lover for ten years with my permission and she enjoyes that relationship very much. I am not not jealous at all and stimulate her to go on. The other man does it with the permission of his wife and because no one wants to divorce, this arrangement is rather safe. So, when your arrangement is safe, it can last for a long time. I wish you much love!

 

Rise from your grave!

 

This is a great thread! Would love to know what finally happened. We were and still sorta are in the same boat. We have talked about starting a family soon so we shall see how much longer she is a "bad" girl.

 

I've been sexting with a woman in an open relationship. So I do know a bit about how the rules can be. Make sure you have some ground rules, if you don't already. And think carefully about how you feel about it. If you don't feel like you're cheating, well you don't have to worry. He clearly has no problem with it.

 

I would have handled it the same way your husband did. " Go explore what you're feeling and see where it goes." I didn't read all of the comments but what if the shoe was on the other foot?

 

It didn't work out for me. I felt increasingly alienated at home and eventually asked for a divorce.

 

Curious.......how is your sex life with your husband? Sounds like you're in a Hotwife marriage, where you get to play and come home to your husband. Does it turn him on that you're with another guy? Do you relay details of your sessions with your lover to your husband when you return home? Your comment about REALLY liking the other man is a bit of a red flag. Maybe time to get a new lover.....one without the emotional aspects. It is just sex...........right?

 

After 30 years I can assure you that sometimes open sexual relations can help a relationship. I married a good man and he is an excellent provider. I too am successful and our lives have turned out way better than we could have dreamed. Having said that he and I since Collage have been open about our sexual desires. Both of us are Bi and love it. He knows that I'm not out fucking just anyone. He knows the men that service me when he is away, Just as I know the women and men he is with. That's what this is about, just sex, I don't love the men who I sleep with, it's all about the sex. So yes, open relationships can be a good thing.

 

If the boyfriend is so SPECIAL (and it sounds like he is), then why give him up?
I realize you wanted to start a family, but why not explain that to him. Maybe he could've used condoms, so you'd know if you got pregnant that the baby would no doubt be your husband's.
It sounds like your husband has cuckold tendencies/fantasies, which is actually pretty common among married men. He liked knowing you were getting some of your emotional/intimate needs met by another man, almost as if some of that pressure was lifted off his own shoulders. It's very obvious your husband and boyfriend were meeting very different needs of yours.

My wife has had a "boyfriend" for six years now (he's also her highschool sweetheart). Obviously, he meets needs that I don't, otherwise, she never would have reconnected with him. I know he provides her (sexually) with certain things that I just can't. That DOESN'T diminish her love for me at all, just like it DOESN'T diminish my love for her. Sure, he has a bigger cock than me, but that alone ISN'T the only reason she's also with him, in fact, she has never complained about my"size" or ability to please her, it's just that she likes variety, and both me and him meet completely different needs/desires of hers. We're both very lucky guys

 

I think it can work but the husband / BF needs to get something out of it as well. This may not be fucking other women. I have little interest in that, but I do get off on my gf having sex with another man, I find it extraordinarily exciting. We keep it just as sex and it works for us. She will ever visit him and come back to me or I will watch. In either case the sex afterwards is mind blowing.

 

I gave my wife permission to have sex with others in our 30's. She had a few one-night sexual events before deciding to stop. I never did anything with anybody else. It worked for usl.

 

I'm in the beginning of a similar arrangement. My wife is ok with the thought of having sex with other men or being in a relationship with other men. She doesn't like the idea of me being with another woman but then again, I'm not really interested in being with another woman.

 

This brings up so many emotional issues, and memories for me. When we were first engaged we fantasized about swapping with another couple. Met two for drinks and we both really liked the second couple. Both younger, fit and bi. We were both “curious” so I thought we’d hit the jackpot. Although I had no issues with her sleeping with them, she informed me that she didn’t think she could handle me having sex with them. Well shite!

I had made it clear she could have sex outside of our relationship. I had said the same to my ex wife, and eventually she took me up on the offer, and slept with a guy frequently for 6 mo. I wanted to watch or join but her bf said no. But the details when she got home sufficed. Until one evening she returns home and as usual I’m all over her. She started crying right in the middle of our sex, saying she felt like she was falling in love with him. Uh oh! She said she would break it off with him and said she did. But she secretly kept seeing him, which was easy for me to figure out when she’d come home from “errands” soaking wet and full. He realized that my wife was more emotionally attached than he wanted, and dumped her. She became an emotional wreck.

With current wife we never swapped with the couple. She still knew I was ok with her playing on the side, but never did solo with another guy. She did however have a one nighter with the bi wife of the second couple we met. She invited my fiancé over for a drink while I was out of town. I called home and when she told me where she was going I thought my cock was going to rip my pants open. Told her to call when she got back home. Longest hours of my life. I came twice waiting for her call, and then again while talking to her. That was the only time she got with her. Curiosity satisfied?

Back to my fiancé/current wife…..we decided to settle on MFMs. Even though she knew she could step out on her own with another man, she said she wanted me there. Didn’t want a stranger but someone she was comfortable with. BUT WHO? I have an old college buddy that we saw occasionally and she seemed to like him. I know he liked her. So I suggested him to my fiancé and she agreed. I floated the idea of a MFM to him and he was initially shy about it, but quickly warmed up to the idea. So the next time he came to town we did just that. That first night was intense. A couple hours of sex for all three of us. She liked it so much that she invited him back again the following evening. Again a great time. Shortly after this last session we were married. But we kept up with the MFMs, although not as frequently as we would have liked (he lived a few hundred miles away). During our last MFM I could sense feelings were developing between the two of them. They were making love, not just f*cking. Also about this time we wanted to have a baby……we had two great kids from her previous marriage….so she went off the pill, and was during our last time with him. RISKY! Fortunately she didn’t get pregnant then. He came to town again and had dinner out. He and I were both looking forward to another 3sum but she said NO! Her seasoning was this type of sex was something that a proper wife and mother should be participating in. I didn’t understand since she enjoyed the sex so much. We all did! I said he could use a condom if that was her concern. Again she declined…….her decision, although I wasn’t happy about it. Again, during our last MFM the signals were there that this was more than just sex. They were making love! They were falling in love, and I guess fortunately she recognized it and put a stop to it. We eventually got pregnant at age 40+.

I’ll shut up shortly….but I’ve read several articles stating that when a man ejaculates in a woman she is emotionally attached to him, and he came in her many times. Good times many years ago. 20 years later I still miss those MFMs. Now I just miss any sex with her.

sorry this is so long. Reliving my past.