I would like some opinions on my situation...

Maybe breaking up with her would help her.

 

This is a good point. But at the same time, it's not necessarily a good idea to just break it off cold turkey with a control-freak, either. I really think that the advice suggesting he communicate their problems first and see how receptive she is is actually not the worst advice. No, it's not his job to help her become a better person, but if she doesn't even realize what a crazy bitch she is, maybe he's just what she needs to realize that. Maybe nobody's ever put her in her place and made her look at the crazy things she does. But at the same time, it might be too late.

I know this girl who this story reminds me of. She's a spoiled brat who has always gotten her way and spends copious amounts of time manipulating people and starting trouble. She got pregnant just because she was jealous of the attention her brother's wife was getting during her pregnancy. Her whole life she's acted like a spoiled little princess and controlled everyone and everything that goes on around her (or at least made a large attempt to do so). She marched into her cousin's bachelor party and then prompted to start a big scene fighting with her boyfriend over the phone in the middle of the party, then throwing herself on the ground in tears and instead of saying, "Listen, this is not your night, if you're having problems with your boyfriend, take it back to the motel and let your cousin have his party," her family just dropped everything and all attention was on her. Now the reason I'm telling you this story is this girl is 24 years old, she's one day older than me. And her whole life this behavior has just been considered acceptable by her friends and family. And now she's a raging bitch and there's no changing her at all.

ToFun, do what you feel you need to do, help her however you feel necessary, but if this kind of behavior has just been accepted her whole life, there may be no changing her. It's nice to think you can save the world, but sometimes you just can't. If she's worth the effort, then by all means, give it a go, but if she's just making you miserable which is what I got out of your original post, then she's not worth it.

 

I appreciate all of you guys and girls giving me your feedback on all of this. Today was a shit day for me, I thought a lot about everything. I am not fully sure what I am gonna do with the situation yet. But a talk is definitely gonna happen. To when it does, I am still not fully sure, I would like to be more clear on what I feel before I start a serious conversation, or break it off.

 

mustlivelife does have a point, thinking again, I agree that you should at least talk to her. If she is unreceptive you might have to break it off. But it's only fair that you tell her this is a problem and reassure her that you aren't about to cheat on her, and also listen, try to get her to talk about why she is so paranoid.

 

If you love this girl or want to stay with her for whatever reason, you need to lay down the law. You need to say "ok, this is how it's going to roll. I'm going to carry on being a human being even though we're together, which means having friends, even female ones. If you don't like that, you need to fuck off." If that doesn't work, get the fuck out of there.

 

the whole marine thing bro. it sounds to me like you guys are in middle school. that might sound offensive but it's not meant to be... i'm just saying this seems like the type of stuff you fight about when you're... unseasoned in the world. i think once people get older they just put their trust on "auto" and figure "well if i can't trust her, i'll just dump her". the insecurity comes in when you're like "well i can't trust, so i'll get mad about it to prove a point to her". i dunno i could be misinterpreting that's just what it SEEMS like to me...

 

Oh, Ok this makes more sense. I don't fully agree, but at the same time I do agree to an extent.

 

Maybe we shouldn't be giving advice. She might care about you, that's all that matters, she may have security and control issues, but at least she might care, maybe not too. The biggest mistake I ever made was staying with a woman for years because she had her life together and was really what you would call a good woman, problem was she didn't give a shit about me really. So what do I know.

 

go with your gut man!!!

 

So we have spoken...

And I said straight up what I didn't like, and what I wanted. And how I didn't like how she acted and how it's a double standard and all that. And she didn't like it too much, but ultimately she took it a lot better than I thought she would. And we are gonna try to work it out, but if she can't fix her shit, Im steppin. And she knows this.

I had to go back and think about what I have done, and what I have stopped doing. So my talk changed a bit, but I noticed that I have stopped acting like I used to, and started being more of a jerk. And stopped doing all the small little things that I used to do. Cute little things. Everything stopped. And I just been kind of dealing with her and not treating us, like a relationship. But with that said, I still got my point across.

 

A good start, man! I'm happy for you. It sounds like you're already doing it but make sure you work as hard as she has to, lead by example.

 

But make sure you aren't working harder than she is, this is a two-person thing. Relationships are not easy and take work from both parties to function well.

 

Agreed.

 

standing up for yourself does not make you a jerk

 

I know, but I have been acting different myself.

 

so have I...so I know how good ,,,,,,and how bad it feels :2thumbsup:

change is good...keep it up

 

Haven't read past first page but your gf is extremely insecure - did she fuck the Marine (probably due to remarks by her friends) so she wants more so to control you as she knows her own weakness ... I would be yourself around everyone and if has problems they are her own not yours - relationships all have give and take but she is taking far too much from you ....

 

good for you man. that's like a tough love thing and it probably would be the best because she's realizing that relationships are a two-way street and not controlled by one person

 

Well her friend made a lot of comments, but was clueless to anything. Her friend admitted(during the huge arguement) that he didn't show up or anything. And she said bits and pieces to everything. I mean its sketchy but if she wanted to fuck my gf's life up she would of said she fucked him and that he was there. But she didn't. So I believe nothing happened.

 

still a huge control freak and her friends suck