i want...

im just in shock that this thing turned ugly...

 

Prettylitte, why so glum? we ALL want little hippy boys to spank us and to feed us grapes while we bask selfishly in the sunrays, occaisionaly tickling our feet with the finest feathers collected from beautiful amazonian birds. But this is but a dream my dear friend! :tongue:

 

hahaha. i dont want that tho..lol
oh well...hahah

 

oh .......... well uh..... this is sure embarassing.., um..... nevermind then!

Now, truth be told, I want a hippy girl
My sons mom is a hippy, but we are not on the same level
So now, I can get a NEW one!!!!!!!

GOt to be cool though, and smart. Dont want my son to be raised around no "normie"

 

what do u mean not on the same level?
haha
thats a cool way of putting it i think. i think the hippy life is the best life.. best way to be raised. :]

 

I mean like, I am all about deep meditation, maha mantra style , being with as little material possesions as I can to be more in touch with life, studying the Bhagavad Gita, playing my guitar and jamming with friends and stranges, reading books, painting, taking my son to festivals, this kind of thing. While she likes most things as me, she is more into coming home from work, making dinner, watching tv until 10pm and going to sleep. I dont have a problem with that, but if I cant share my interests with a girl Id rather raise my son by myself, you know? THats all I meant. SHe is NOT stupid, Im not saying that, she is just not into art and she doesnt understand my connection with God and the feeling of ONeness with humanity

 

oh. gotcha. i was kinda in that situation.. i was engaged and i got pregnant and we moved in together... i am really into music and playing guitar, festivals, that kinda thing.. and also just like being peaceful and making people happy the best i can..sounds lame but hey. i like to make people smile. haha
so anywaysss... he wasnt really into that kinda stuff..... so we decided that we wouldnt get married until we were both happy with each other..... but one day i caught him cheating so i just moved on with my life... i ended up loosing the baby tho
which really took a toll on my life alot.. im a much different person. in a good way. :]
wow. lisas whole life story right here.hahaha

 

oh wow Im sorry that happened to you That really is sad.
But it seems like you are a happy person really, and everything DOES happen for a reason, Im not saying I believe in fate, but we are sometimes prevented from being put in situations that are not right for us you know?
Like I moved in with this girl too, I was with her for just over 3 years, completely in love with her, and we were engaged for 2 years. After the baby was born we were still happy with each other, but I was charged with reckless homicide when on vacation in SC last year, spent the whole vacation in jail for something not my fault. What happened was this guy tried to run head first under my car while I was on the highway, but he must have been drunk because he missed and hit the side door of my car. THank God my son was at the hotel with his mom because the door went halfway into my back seat and would definitley killed him. So anyway when I got out of jail and we came back to Philadelphia, we grew apart because I was going back to court and it seemed as if I was going to get locked up for a while. So, her true colors came out and she abandoned me, went and slept with someone she met at work, and left me with my son alone and with a broken heart.
But life goes on, I realized over time that she didnt love me and that I was used, and eventually my heart healed and I have been pretty happy with my son and my life

Looks like we have both been hurt really bad Lisa, so I can understand where your coming from!

 

But of all things that happened to me in my life, I can not imagine what it would be like to lose a child. I really am so so sorry to hear of this. But, I guess it just wasnt meant to be right? I mean your a beautiful girl and a very smart, and you seem like a generally nice person, Im SURE you are going to find someone who deserves you someday and you can start a wonderful family that is right for all of you

 

oh wow. im really sorry. i am glad you are okay now tho.. even though that sucks that happened with that guy... im sorry about your girlfriend too.. i understand where you are comming from. i had just come home from a doctors appointment to check up on me and the baby and i walk into the house and he was making out and doing other shit with this coworker of his and all i could do was just stand there.u know?... turns out he was a really big drug dealer so im really happy im not around that anymore. we never would have worked out anyway... but idk i really want kids and a family so i have just been waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet. haha

well i saw the pictures of your son.. and hes the cutest baby i have ever seen.. really.

 

exactly.

 

Aw thank you! I love him so much, he is my life! well, so is music and God, but mostly him
I really think he is beautful too, like, I know everyone thinks there kid is cute but I think he is SO cute, and so many people tell me he is all the time! I went to the beach last weekend with him, and so many cute girls kept coming up to me and going AWWWWWWWWW !!!! :tongue: but, when he is not around, girls look at me all like, EWWWWW no you Didint! haha At least, thats what I Think they are thinking. Although once I walked up and just flat out asked this really good looking girl out to dinner, I though she was way out of my league, but she said yes! Then she tried to sleep with me on the first night and I havent talked to her since.

 

I guess you've found your little hippie boy and he's found his little hippie girl.

 

hahaa no she is WAY to pretty for an idiot like me :tongue:

 

hahaha. thats great. i bet his mom is really cute. lets stop talking about kids.. im just idk.. these last couple of weeks have been really hard 4 me cuz i would have had the baby about now so idk.. im just kinda messed up from all of it...because i was really excited for her.. but whatever.....
im glad that ur not all about sex like alot of guys ive met. im really happy actually. haha

 

AHAHA. im not. :]

 

Ok we will stop then, I understand. After I posted it i was like, hmmm maybe she is not ready to think about this and its brining up painful memories. Im sorry that I brought it up

We can talk about something else though
But yea, I mean I love sex, everybody does of course, but I had only ever had sex with her and she was so special to me, so when I found out she cheated on me i felt like dying lol. Worst pain I ever felt really. But I tried to explain to the other girl I almost slept with that, Im sorry if guys take advantage of you and your used to getting what you want, but I am NOT the kind of person who just sleeps with someone because they are good looking. I only will if there is an established relationship and a mutual feeling of at least being together, being in love would be nice but sometimes it takes people awhile to fall in love so I understand that. But you know? There is so much more to life than sex, of course sex is wonderful and very special but I only care for it if I am in love

 

Want to bet?! :tongue:

 

oh its okay i need to get over it. i just think its amazing that life is so precious one day its here the next its not u kno?

haha
yeah.. everyone loves sex. hahaha but i totally agree. i think its messed up that some people expect sex on the first date or something. i mean i like to kiss but thats a different story.haha and i know about the whole its really special and mostly happens when u think ur in love.. believe me.....
i think sex is a thing that is too defined these days.. as in everyone is having sex and its nothing special, which ruins it. i think at least.

 

I think so too. It feels sometimes that I will never find a girl who understands me, and can put up with me :tongue: I guess everyone feels lonely at times, and even when I have my son, when he goes to sleep I get so depressed sometimes feeling alone. I dont have many friends left, thats why Im on here haha I have some but they are always going to concerts and parties and drinking and smoking, and I cant bring my son around that sort of thing. But you know, my mom took care of me and my sister, my dad left when I was almost 3 and my sister was 1, and she didnt even get another man until I was 7, and she married him when I was 13, and the two of them are so perfect together Im so happy for her Now I have 2 more sisters and a brother.
And I told her once, like I was feeling really upset and lonely and wondering why I loved this girl and she just threw me out over some guy, threw away everything, and she was telling me you just have to keep your head up and take care of your son. She said that when you do the right thing, be a good dad and love him, go to work everyday, go back to school, keep practicing music and be a good person, and one day it will all make sense and you will find that special person to spend your life with And you know, I really believe her.
For awhile I didnt even believe in true love anymore, but the older I get, the more I am seeing that it is possible to be with a special girl forever and really, REALLY fall in love, but we just have to keep bettering ourselves first, and then the person who deserves us will come along and make our lives complete.
Maybe Im a dreamer, but I really feel in my heart that it can happen for everyone.