I think I'm running away.

Man, I know how you feel. I'm in a crappy situation. But it's really not crappy if you look at it from a wider perspective. It sounds like you have food and shelter, and hell, even access to the internet! Don't take these things for granted. Maybe start studying a religion, start meditating. It's amazing how satisfying it can be to not let people that once made your world turn upside down not affect you anymore.

And retain your sense of individuality, but don't throw it at people. Maybe you just need some good friends. But leaving at fifteen is not an easy road to take. If you are looking for a quick fix to this problem, take action. Don't just run, but make efforts to make your current situation better. There's that John Mayer song. I don't care if you don't like John Mayer, but he has a good line in that new song. "We just keep waitin' for the world to change". Instead of being constantly frustrated with the reality that you find yourself in, be a shaping hand in your own life. Don't let other people fuck with your sanity. Once you do that, it can be hard to get back.

 

iove ya woodstock..but this illustrates why u aeent resdy to just go
inhalents can permenantly fuck u up..coma..severe brain dammage..is that an answer? is freesom lyin in a nursing home unable to doanything but drool?
neither is alcahol, in fact, for ui think it should be avoied entirely, i think your desperate for freedom soyour reaching for any act that gives u a sence of freedom..a momment where your not unddr theyre control..bt reachin for a bottle will only make the bottle control you more then they ever did..
alcaholic tendencies can begin b4 you ever tasted alcahol...not sayijn ya have alcaholism in your family or are at high risk...i just see in u a desperation, that without guidance will end with u lying in an alley with a needle in your arm..
your bright..your full of dreams..you have a pureity of vission & a desire for beauty..but out of desperation you have a tendency to not give a shit burt consequences if u could just have 1 momment of feeling freee..
you can have all u want, but u wont find it in a bottle.you'll onlyfind your dreams washed away in an alcaholic haze & one day wake up & realize u wasted your whole life doing nothing more important 5then being drunk & stupid
sorryoif that seems harsh
but..what u need is guidance..not strict control...
support..not restrictions
u can try to explain thatt tothem..but if they dont understand..u at least get the support & guidance here, even if you dont get rid of the control & restrictions just yeft
but that will happenj as you make better decisions...
if u were my daughter..& i feared everytime i turned around youd be sniifing anything u could find or drowning yourself in booze..i don't know what id do,but id do anything i could to protect you..i'd hope id reactg better then they are, but u gotta see how the way your reacting must scare them...
it scares me..
remember what we talked about last night..whenu need escape, u can escape tothat beautiful place you hold inside you..in your heart & mind..
allugotta dois close your eyes & just be there..
if u seek serenity within yourself allthe chaos around you cannot affect you...
thjink ww suggested meditation..& thats a very good idea..
remember seeing the vidio of the monks during the vietnam protests who burned themselves alive..imagine the chaos around them, yet they never for a momment let it touch them..not theyre spirits..they fell withutter serenity ..it wouldnt matter if u were in jail..never to see daylight againj..if you keep daylight in your heart your always lying peacefully in sunshine

that youcan never get from a drug...

hugs

 

If you claim you love music that much, music should your way to escape... besides there are plenty of other ways. Get something to do...

the worst thing is to complain about your situation... just put things in perpective... got a shelter? got food and clean water? a good hygiene? got music? damn dozens of millions of people don't even have this...

 

You all know what I mean. My idea of a beautiful life, this dream, is best illustrated by the way bands like Van Halen, Guns 'n Roses and Motley Crue lived. That's how I want to live.
The more I hear the glamorous fantasies and listen to the songs, the more I lust it insanely.

 

Man. Those bands were all in it for the money. They toured and got fucked up and fucked chicks. That's not exactly a satisfying lifestyle.

Trust me. Happiness is NOT achieved through rock n roll.

 

Life in the fast lane, rock 'n roll excess, living on the edge, you have no idea how sweet that sounds right now. Even something like the Grateful Dead lifestyle works too. Rock 'n Roll is the /only/ thing that givres me happiness. So...

 

you sound completly immature and have no idea of the consequences you could face. you think running away is just so easy and that youll become this rock star, but you sound like an idiot.

 

if you seriously get high off of markers then you'll be dead in a week. not only that but there's in san fransico anymore. And you're only 15...most 15 year olds feel the same way, especally when they're into the rock thing. Trust me, I'd love to run away right now...but I don't feel like ending up dead and or raped.

 

Screw it. Guns 'n Roses did it so can I. Are they idiots? No.

 

Ghandi freed an entire country... can you? Don't overestimate yourself to much...

If you run away from your home to become a rock star, fine, it's your choice... but I think you'll spend more time looking for food and money to survive than practicing your guitar skills...

 

the reality of rock & roll excezss is a sesspool.. u see em on stage as a glorius thing but u dont see em sleepin with theyre head in a tiolet just to keep from dying by choking ion theyre puke

woodstock u could have an amazing ife..& music a big part of it..but i would never wish that lifestyle on my worse enemy..
ever wonder why the excess? why they poision themselvesto death?
they are driven non stop far far beyond exhaustion..ts either destroy theyre mind & body with chemicals..or end up committed
to live that way u gotta be either very strong..or very dumb...the strong may survive..the dumb become rock & roll casualties

shit 1/2 of em cant even talkin away anyone can understand anymore

i thinku should concentrate on just making some real goofd freinds & be happy

 

I wanna die young. I wanna drink till I puke. I want to get so high I collapse in front of an elevator. I don't care what it sounds like. I want to be a rock star! That's what rock stars do because they can fucking party all night long and nobody gives a damn! I wanna do that! And if I don't die then i'll settle down /afterwards/.

 

If you think you're going to settle down if you don't die... you'll be so settled you can barely move.

If that's what you really want, go for it... you have 3 pages of people trying to help you out and you're not listening... it makes you look extremely immature.

And if you think that you are somehow going to become a rock star, just because you want to... well I wish you luck.

 

This is like talking to a brick wall, except a brick wall may listen more.

She's fifteen, I was stupid when I was 15 too. That's what 15 year olds do.

My father is a hardcore republican, I lived in a town with less than 300 people in a rural part of virginia. I wasn't happy but I made it.

 

yeh hay, I tink there4 I run, go 4 it, an see your karma, free but many weirdly lonley timez, yet yeh go 4 it. get someplaces else, where U kan see other people. like India or Amsterdam.

 

withthe attitude uhave u wont make it to be a rockstar..1st off..it takes a hell of alotta work & years of effort to doit
second.. its no party.. the partying they dois all just to relieve the stress..its nonstop strss..pushing you tothe limmit of what u can take til u cant take anymore & stick that needle in your arm& try to blast away the world
your attitude will make u die young yes, but without making any mark on the worlkd except maybe a puke stain

try talking to someone who did live fast & die young (well if they wernt dead) & youd find theyre lives just full of regret

stop saying i dont care..its your life..&you damn well better care..its all u have

the rockstar dream is ok to reach for..but it cant be a reason to throw away your life
theres millions of bands out there..what percehtage egver get bigger then playing in bars? 1%? is throwing away youyr life worthit if your best gig is playing at your best freinds wedding?
not trying to trash your dream, just saying look at the reality

 

you're an idiot.

do you think all those rock stars wanted to be addicts? Do you think they wanted to die at 27? You think they wanted to waste their money, time, and talents on addictions? Being a rock star is'nt about excess and if you think it is then you'll end up a joke. Drugs,Sex and Rock n Roll is one thing. But doing it because you know you'll die from it is another.

you call yourself I wanna be rock n roll star. You sound more like a parody.

you're one of the reasons that rock n roll will remain dead. You don't wanna be a rock star. You wanna be a junkie and addict on tv. It' really saddens me that people think like this. Like i said drugs,sex and rock n roll is one thing. Being an idiot junkie who plays a guitar is another.

 

Frisco's gay.If you're into that great if not i'd stay away.Texas has a fantastic music scene,you'd really have a better chance there.Besides there's a reason they call it running away.At 15 all your hopes and dreams are really in Texas cause that's what you know.The rest is just fantasy.Crap you've heard.Traveling is great.Like a bad turd,i was all over the place when I was your age.Did me a world of good.Just don't forget where you came from and your roots cause that's what you are and that's what in the end will make you happy.

 

Puking is so much fun.i wish i had the flu...